Livin'with the loca
by Nuky
Summary: There is just no living with Sands and his insanity.Sequel to livin' la vida loca. wanna know what's it about, read it. Chater 17 is up!
1. The date

**Before you're going to read this story some info, it's a sequel to livin' la vida loca but I think you can read this without llvl. But if you like to know what happened before I suggest you should read it, pretty please with sugar on top.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. Sands ain't mine, he belongs to Robbert Rodrigues, god bless ya!**

**Warning: Guess I need to say Sands won't shut his mouth so there will be a lot of swearing**

Chapter 1)The date.

In the early evening of Mexico a boy stumbled across the street. Well, boy, young man as he preferred. He looked from side to side and crossed the asphalt road. It started to get a bit colder but the felt his cheeks burn. Right now he didn't feel much as a man, more as a nervous little kid.

'_I don't want to make you nervous, but if he doesn't like you you're dead meat' _She'd said. He sighted. Great, now he had to act like the perfect guy to pick up a girl… If there was even a little change it could get that far. There was no way this could work out well, the things his neighbours had told about _him _sounded terrible.

'There is just no _way_ this will work out.' He sighted and walked up the stairs to the second floor. From the hall he heard two voices scream. Again a sight. 'Yes, this will end very badly…'

We walked to the third door and knocked. One voice yelled some curses, someone fell to the ground and something broke into pieces. His eyebrow rose and he was just about to knock for the second time, when the door got smacked open. Quickly he lowered his hand.

"I swear if you're that same ignorant retarded salesman that was here last week I won't think twice to rip your tongue out!" Said the man in front of him. The man looked from side to side and pushed his sticky dark hair out of his face. "So, _are _you going to tell me why you think you're good enough to waste my time?" He spook with razor-sharp words.

"I'm J-Julio Lopez señor." He said polite hoping his girlfriend-to-be would hurry.

The man thought for a moment. "You're that lil' fag Lizz can't shut her cute little mouth about?"

Offended by this insult he glared at the man. "Guess so."

The man's behaving changed, before he knew it a hand grabbed around his shirt and he got pulled in, and back against the wall.

"Listen, punk, if you even think that you can just waltz in here you're very… _very _wrong!"

Julio gulped and nodded quickly. 'They're right, this guy is nuts! Why do I have to get a date with a niña living with a loca?'

A door opened, followed by a loud yell. "_SANDS_!"

He took an eased breath. 'Talking about timing.'

The man's grip eased and let him go. He gave him one last look, a warning, he knew it. Then the man turned around.

"Lizzy, nice to know your lung capacity still functions perfectly."

"Shut up!" She looked from him to Julio and smiled a bit embarrassed, flushing her cheeks red. He chuckled. The memories of the first time he saw her. She was on her way home, just coming from the market and he had to deliver some things at the local grocery. She carried two big bags and stumbled to keep them balanced. It was funny to watch so he stopped for a moment. She noticed but tried to avoid eye contact. She tried too hard and stumbled over a tile. She fell to the ground, followed by two bags, milk and a yelp. He had tried not to laugh, but couldn't resist. After earning her glare he helped her up and picked up her supplies from the ground. That seemed enough for her to say 'hello' and before he knew it they where talking while walking to her house. When he wanted to walk with her she stopped and said it was fine. Right then he didn't think it could be because anything bad, but that was before all the rumours.

"-And I don't like it that every time someone is at the door you scream death threats at them!" he blinked and looked at her. She looked a bit funny, glaring at the man so seriously while she tried to not to sound furious.

"And I don't like being all that happy to let every fuckmook in. This is _Mexico_ for fucks sake!"

"Mexico isn't that terrifying, and this is a peaceful town." She snapped back. She rolled her eyes and looked at Julio. "Hi, sorry for this, he's a little bit-"

"Psycho? Disturbed? Murderers?" The man helped her out.

"- Insane lately." She finished, shooting daggers at the man. "I'll get my coat and then we can go." And she hurried into another room.

"So… you are Julio…" The man with the glasses said on a painfully sharp tone. He stuck out his hand. "I'm Sands and don't fuck with me, got that kid?"

Julio quickly nodded and grabbed his hand. "Good." The man said pleased. With his other hand he grabbed Julio's shoulder and pushed him down.

"How much do you love life, Julio?" He then asked, grinning.

Julio tried to pull his arm back, with as only result his arm got pushed further on his back. His muscles started aching while he spook. "Very much."

"Peachy, than you will listen well, _very _well." The grip on his arm tightened. "Get her home by ten, try _anything_ and you can change your name into Julia, savvy?"

"Si." Julio answered hissing.

"Swell."

His arm got released and the man tapped him on the shoulders. "Good dog." With furious eyes he watched the man walk across the room and sit down on the sofa.

'He's even crazier than the neighbours said…' He swallowed by the thought.

Luckily Lizz hurried back in with a purse and a thin jacket. "I'm going and will be back late."

The man made a waving motion on the sofa. "_Of course_ you will, Lizzy-O."

She frowned and looked at Julio. He gulped and shook his head, pushing her to the door. Outside she gave him a questioning look.

"Okay, spill it out, what did Sands say to you?"

He shrugged. "Nothing special." Except planning to kill me…

"Right…" The voice said enough to assure him she didn't buy his lie. Luckily she didn't continue asking. That was one thing he liked about her, she didn't make a scene about small things, something 99 percent of the Mexican girls could make a note of. She also was a bit of the outcast with her short blond hair and big blue eyes. Most of the girls in town made mean comments about her being so 'American.' He didn't agree with those girls, she spoke Spanish correctly and there was definitely some Mexican temper in her veins. He once asked her if she was partly Mexican, and she gave him a vague answer and made an excuse. After that he never asked her anything about her roots. He didn't know much about her, nor did he know where she came from. Villagers said she popped up out of nowhere with her uncle.

"Hey are you going to stand there al day or are we going to do something fun?" She smiled and scampered to his truck.

.-.-.

A bit nervous and giggly she sat in the front seat of his old second-hand truck. She looked into the side mirror to check her hair and make up. She blew her hair out of her face and smiled. Good, she looked ok. Very ok. Maybe even more than ok. From the corners of her eyes she looked at her left. Damn, did he even notice she looked more than ok? A bit disappointed she looked down to the dashboard where a package of tobacco lied.

'The only minus, he smokes.' She didn't mind much. Sands smoked all the time and… well this guy was the first that actually spoke to her. The whole small city-thing was a bit of a disappointment. She'd hoped people would accept her more. And living with an insane gunfighter didn't help her build op some approval of the local people.

"So, where we going?" She asked.

"To a bar a few miles further." He said back.

"Good, I really need a drink." She said.

"And why is that?" He smiled.

"Because of the jerk I live with. I swear since we got here he gets on my nerves, being so god _damn_ annoying." Sulky she played with her hair.

"What's going on with that guy anyhow?" Julio asked on a normal tone, but his hands were clutched around the wheel. She understood he didn't like Sands at all, not that she could blame him of course…

"Overly protective I guess. And being a bit paranoid… And, he's just a bit different."

"You're sure that's it?"

She froze. "What's that suppose to mean?"

He shrugged and his grip tightened. "Just a bit worried about you, people talk you know."

"People talk shit." She wished she hadn't sounded that bitterly.

"Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't." he said a bit trailed off.

She decided to drop the issue. For once she wanted to have a normal teenage night. Being drunk and dance and have a great time. Without shooting accidents or dead bodies…

.-.-.

It was crowded in the bar, it reminded her a bit of the few bars she visited with Sands. Julio grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd to the bar. She felt her cheeks turn red from the touch and hoped he wouldn't notice. Finally, she thought, a guy I totally like. She looked at him a bit sheepish. Yeah, he is perfect, minus smoking. Mexican, dark curling hair, eyes like chocolate… And sexy and he was very nice… perfect! Before they even talked she had seen him a couple of times from her apartment. She nearly fainted when he spoke to her in his very heavy accented English. Too cute, too cute, had shot through her head.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked.

Quickly she wiped the sheepish look from her face. "Tequila lime, please."

He gave her a worried look. "You're sure?"

She grinned. "Totally sure, need a drink. Now!"

He chuckled and she felt butterflies in her belly. He ordered the drinks and they sat down in the corner.

"So how long ago did you move into this small town?" Julio asked, sipping his drink.

She thought for a moment. "Three months ago I think, maybe even a bit longer."

"Three months? How come I never saw you before, the first time I saw you was a couple of weeks ago."

Again she felt her cheeks turn red. "Couldn't get out much, _long_ story…" She didn't like to focus so much attention on her, her past that was. "So what about you, tell me something about you."

He started to tell about his family. He was the oldest and had two younger sisters and a younger brother and still lived with his parent since he couldn't afford a house _yet._ He told about his life, his school, about his job at the gas station. Meanwhile they had a couple of more drinks and he asked her to dance.

Lizz already felt a bit dizzy but didn't feel that drunk yet and jumped up. The music burst out of the boxes and they started to dance.

'Finally, the life of a normal teen.' She laughed and danced on the rhythm of the music. "I LOVE THIS SONG!" She screamed.

"WHAT?!" Julio yelled back.

"NEVERMIND!" She jumped in a circle and noticed the colouring lights where waving at her. 'Damn a bit too much tequila…' She shrugged. 'Can't kill me.'

After a few numbers the music went more calmly. She smiled shy and placed her arms around his neck. Yeah, finally a normal teenage date. No gunfights, no freaking outs, not tension, just him. And me, dancing… Before she noticed she had that sheepish smile up again and hummed with the song they where dancing on.

She frowned as she noticed her 'date' kept looking on his watch time after time. 'Okay, he is not having a nice time. Great, first date since… forever and he's bored.' He caught her annoyed gaze and smiled nervously. 'Smile is not good enough.'

"Hey are you bored or something?" She yelled above the music. Immediately he shook his head. "Then what is it?!"

He flushed and mumbled something she couldn't hear correctly. Okay, not nice, am I doing something wrong? She watched her feet, I'm dancing correctly I guess and there is no way he could think she would want sex on the first date. Maybe make out but nothing further…

After a few more minutes and him peeping at his watch she was pissed.

She pulled her arms back and pushed him off. "You know, if you hate to spend time with me, you just can drive me home, okay!" Moody she stamped out of the bar heading to his car. She crossed her arms and stood against the car. After a few seconds Julio stammered to her, with hanging shoulders.

"I'm sorry Lizz, I didn't mean to..."

She gave him a hard look and pouted. "Just get me home okay? That's not to much to ask." She opened the door and sat down, looking through the window, away from him.

Julio sighted, great first date since… pretty long and I messed up. A bit embarrassed he sat down besides her. "Look Lizz, I'm sorry. It's not _you_ it's-"

"Yeah yeah, _me_, you know with the next niña you dump I would try to get a little bit more original. This is pretty lame."

He swallowed and opened his mouth again, thing to figure out what to say without sinking more into his mess. "That's not what I was going to say. It's that… guy you're living with." Her head snapped a hundred percent, her eyes finking with rage and a bit of hope. It gave him a little bit more courage. "He kinda told me to get you home by ten, _or_ _else_…"

She started to smile again, what seemed a bit odd considering what he just said. "So you don't think I'm boring?" She said in a high tone.

"_No_! Of course not." He sighted, glad she wasn't mad anymore. "You're pretty interesting, Lizz."

She bit her lip and turned red. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." He said, bending closer to her. Her eyes glittered as she turned her head towards him. He took her hand and squeezed it soft. "Even more than just interesting." He felt her tremble and she closed her eyes. He pulled her closer and-

_Rrrrrrinngggg…_

They both jumped and nudged their heads against each other.

"Ouch!" She rubbed her sore head and yanked her mobile phone out of her pocket. "Yeah, Lizz here what do you want?!" She didn't receive an answer but assumed it was Sands, trying to fuck up her date. "Arrogant ass!" she muttered angry. 'Just because he doesn't have a date he was to mess up mine!'

"So, that means I have to get you home?" Julio laughed rubbing his own head.

A bit embarrassed she nodded. "I think so."

.-.-.-.

They drove home in silence, but not the deadly lethal on the first date one. He had turned on the radio and Lizz sat quiet, a bit blasted away giving him a couple of sheepish grins. 'He tried to kiss me like… for real! And o my god, I mean we almost kissed!' Cursing herself by remembering it was her fault they didn't really kiss, she hummed with the song.

He stopped his car across her apartment. Now the silence started to get her.

"Quarter past ten, you think he'll be mad?" He asked her half joking.

'Owh boy you have no idea who you're up against,' she smiled sadly. "I don't think mad is in his dictionary, he turns from sarcastic and annoying into trigger happy psycho in three point zero seconds. It's happy or murderess with him, not a shade of grey."

He was silent for a second and she saw him think deep. 'I have to stop rambling so much, if he just know a bit about me he would…', she frowned. 'What will he think of me then…'

"I have to go." She said quickly opening her door. She was about to step out when he caught her wrist. She turned around giving him a questioning look.

His dark eyes burned into hers. "See you around Lizz?"

She was about to melt. "Definitely!"

And she closed the car door and walked into the apartment, ready for a fight. Lizz versus Sands. As she thought about that her happy feeling sank into her shoes.

.-.-.-.

**First fan fiction since forever. I hope you liked it, I know I like writing it. I kinda missed Sands. Next chap much more of him! And remember, reviewing encourages the writing progress! **

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	2. Empty bottle

**Chapter 2) Empty bottle**

It was late. To late. She would be here by now. The church bells rang ten times some time ago. He didn't know exactly how long ago but he knew one thing. She was late! And that pissed him off and made him feel abandoned at the same time, making shivers run all over his body. Could be side effects from the pills, the drugs, he needed to take but he knew better. It wasn't like she hadn't left him before. She needed to get… stuff, all kind of things. Go to a market, go shopping. But this time it was different, this time she was with a boy. And he remembered very clear how her last 'date' was like.

'Dozed her off the fuckshit did.' His grip around the leather of the sofa tightened. 'Had to drive her all the way to El Fantstico.' Annoyed by the memories of being helped by El he grabbed the bottle of licker on his right. 'Next time I see him I will shoot him.' He took a draught of the burning licker. 'Fucking bad word selection.'

It had almost been a year since he became blind. Since his life changes drastically and turned into a bigger hell than it already was. He'd been thrown on a lot of different rollercoaster's of stress, fear and suffer. He'd been shot, treated as a fucking nut and hurt in a lot of other ways.

And the most hurtful part was, he couldn't do a thing about it. Everything had just happened to him and half of the time he just had to take it and keep his mouth shut.

'All because of that stupid brave heart Mariachi.' The grip on the bottle stiffened. 'To light hearted to leave the girly alone, thinking I couldn't handle it myself.' The truth was he couldn't have handled it, but he was to damn proud to admit it, even to himself. He still liked to believe he was the strong powerful agent, always ready to shoot and kill for his goals. But in his heart he knew he wasn't any longer.. NO… he needed to stay calm and get doped up everyday. And she had to rub that all in his face every god damn time he was about to lose his temper. Stupid kid, killing was one way of keeping the balance. And balance was everything so in one very twitsted way… killing was a good thing for him. It had been so long since the last time he killed or even shoot at someone

'And it's because she won't let me,' he thought angrily, 'like they would miss one person in this whole city.' Like that salesman, he could have a good deed shooting that mans brain out. But no! The kid had to make him walk away and she even _bought_ something! Bought some useless piece of plastic because he had threatened the man. 'The god damn ass couldn't even understand what I was saying!' Sands thought angry, taking another sip of the bottle. 

He heard a sound coming from the front door. Without hesitating he pulled his gun out and aimed at the door. There where soft footsteps and the light got switched on.

"Don't shoot, it's me." The kid said casual.

He pulled his gun from safety. "I'm not sure yet, Lizzy-O." He said with a low warning tone. He was very pissed and only thought it was fair to warn her just now.

'Owh c'mon Sands!" She fired. "I went out for the first time in many, _many_ months! And you threatened him!"

He lowered his gun. "Damn right I did, remember the last 'guy' you liked? You saw pretty shiny colours for three days in a row."

He heard her sigh in annoyance. "I made a mistake back then, kay! Jeez, why do you always think I will end up with a homicidal lunatic?!"

"Look with who you're living, kiddy." And he added. "You are just a lousy picker of man."

"Well at least I get some attention." She said fleeting.

Sands felt a blow in his stomach and was glad he had put his gun down because his hand was craving to pull the trigger. "Dare to say one more thing and I'll kill you bitch!" She went quiet, probably realising what she had said. It stabbed him, stupid kid always knew how to get on his nerves. One day she would go to far!

"You know what, Lizzy fuck you! Do whatever you want but don't come back crying your ass off when he fucks you and throws you away like you're nothing!" he stood up and stamped towards his room. "Stupid little girl!" And his door slammed shut.

Lizz stared at the door in dismay. She'd thought he would yell at her, told her shit and cursed at her for being late. But this was far worse, he made her feel guilty.

'That was not suppose to happen…' Her lips curled down and she sat on the sofa, still staring at the door. 'Why does he always have to make a big fuss out of everything? Why can't he let me have one night of fun without making me feel guilty!'

A soft voice reminded her of what she'd said. She hadn't really meant it, didn't even want to mention it but it was out before she knew it. Slowly it started to get clear what her words meant to him. -_Freak, eyeless freak, disgusting_- 'God I'm so stupid.' Her shoulders dropped and she bit her lip. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' She wished she could take her words back, but the damage was already done.

Slowly, hating herself she stood up and walked into her room. Tomorrow she would say sorry and let him yell at her as long as was necessary. But right now, she knew better than to go to his room.

.-.-.-.

Lizz couldn't fall asleep. Thinking about Julio, about how much she liked him. And then she thought about Sands. He meant more to her than she would ever have thought. It was hard to live with him. The first couple of month… were just one big hell. She couldn't leave him alone for a moment because he would go back into silence. He would do things to himself, she never ever wanted to see again. She had known from the start what he could do to others, but torturing himself... Beating himself up, cursing and reminding himself of all the terrible things he had done. Some days he would wake up, thinking he was still in the Centre and she was death. It was so hard to get him back into reality, screaming she wasn't real.

'But that was all over now', she reminded herself. All the bad things were gone. She hoped. Living with Sands was living with insanity, you never knew what to except.

There was a stumbling sound in the hallway. Lizz's eyes snapped open, had she been asleep? She turned her head and looked at her alarm clock, it was five past one. Still dizzy from the sleep she turned her head towards the door. In a second she was fully awake.

Sands was standing in the frame of her doorway in silent. In his hand he hold a bottle and in his other a gun. Lizz stared back at him, not moving to make a sudden sound. He must think she was still asleep and she wanted to keep it that way, for her and his sake.

She studied him closely as he took a swig of the drink. He stood there in silence for a long time, taking a few more swigs of his drink. He mumbled something and his baring tightened. A hollow feeling started to take over Lizz' stomach. There was something going on with Sands…

Slowly Sands shook his head and turned up towards her. "I know you're awake."

Lizz swallowed. Hell and destruction here I come. She sat up, making enough noise to tell him what she was doing. Since she'd moved in she always made sure she wore something noisy, to tell him where she was and that it was really her

"What are you doing?" She asked him.

He shrugged. "You tell me lizz." His words sounded hollow, empty, just as the bottle she noticed. Her eyes narrowed, the idiot,how many times she had to tell him alcohol and pills were one of the worst combo's ever.

"You've been drinking?" she asked slightly reproached.

"What is this fucking glass for, stupid?" He grinned and let the bottle drop on the ground. "Answering a question with a question, isn't that a bit low?"

"Then I'll answer your question first. You are standing here in my room, in the middle of the night, with a gun and an empty bottle of what ever that was."

He didn't reply, his bearing changes and his grin disappeared. He placed the gun back between his belt and turned around.

"Sands?"

"Go back to sleep." He said walking throw her doorway.

"Sands I'm sorry kay? I didn't mean to-"

His head snapped and for a moment she looked into the darkness of his glasses. "I said get back to sleep, Lizz!" He turned around and slammed the door, leaving her worried.


	3. Girl issues

**Disclaim: I do not own Sands. ****I do own Lizz and Julio, be so nice to give them back. **

**Sorry, not betaed yet, it will be but I wanted to post something desperately. **

**Chapter 3) ****Girl issues **

She sat in a chair facing Sands' door. He hadn't come out yet and there where no sounds that he was awake… ore that he was alive. With her arms crossed she stared at his door, while a battle set placed in her mind. If she would go in, horrible things could happen. He could be death, shot himself. She wouldn't even had heard it because he had a silencer. Second, if he wasn't death he surely would be pissed. He didn't like it when she got in his room. Ore he could be death drunk ore extremely sick by the mix of his pills and the alcohol he drank. She remember last time he did something that stupid. She'd left him to go to the hospital, it was back when El was still around, when life was a lot easer to deal with. Running and hiding, running and shooting, running and make sure you didn't get killed. Back them there was no time to think. No time to get worried. Just staying alive and stay out of the hands of a madman.

Now life was screwed up, because she had time to think everything throw and he had nothing to do. He couldn't read books, yelled at her when she suggested he learn Braille. He didn't want to get outside and snapped at her every time she suggested something. All he did was watch TV and get on her nerves. It wasn't health for a person to stay inside so long and with inside she not only mend inside the house. There where still so many other thinks Sands dealt with. His past, his blindness and his future. It was just to much for one man. Ore a girl.

She sighted. 'Kay if he doesn't come out I have to get in.' Still she remand silence on the chair. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. 'C'mon Lizz you had it coming, get you're ass up and walk in!'

She pushed herself up and walked to his door and stared at it. 'It's a door Lizz. Not a monster, just plain wood, screws and a nop.' Slowly she razed her hand and knocked.

No answer, what she had expect. She knocked again with the same result. 'Damn I really have to get in.' Slowly she pushed open the door and stepped in.

Inside it was dark, no wonder Sands didn't need to see and because of his old CIA habits he darkened his room. 'To be a step ahead the enemy.'

And right now she was the biggest enemy around. Again hell wasn't that far away.

"Sands?" She switched the lights on. To her surprise and relieve he laid on his bed with his arms behind his head.

"Sands?" She said again.

He turned his head towards her. "What?" he spook a bit annoyed but without any trail of stress ore sickness.

The fear she felt before faded and got replaced by anger. "Why didn't you answer me? I was worrying sick about you!"

"Then cut that out, kid." He sat up and looked at her angry. "I'm fin and not the kind of person you should worry about." He stood up, walked along her and pushed her aside. She let him walk away, after living with him for about six month she knew better then to draw attention to his problems.

She heard him sat down in the living room, walked beside his bed and picked up the empty bottle. 'Just like mom.' She turned around and smashed the bottle in the trashcan. Her eyes focused on the broken glass. Memories from years ago. Every day the same damn thing, empty bottles and a dead drunk mom hanging in front of the TV. And she made a habit out of it to yell at her about her terrible life. '_Lizzy you have no idea how it is to be a single mom, how it is to raze a kid all alone, how it feels to be so empty.'_ Her mom always love to complain about her problems, while she had to keep the house clean, make sure they bills got paid and there was some food on the table.

'I hate her.' She told herself again. 'Mom never paid much attention to me, did mother-daughter things with me ore listened to me.' Still… you only get one mom in you're life and at some moment she missed a female around her. Sands was nice, insane and cool. Like the psychopathic uncle she never had. But not a mom. And right now, with Julio and all the other things happening, she wanted a mom.

"I'm going to the market, Sands." She grabbed her purse and her hat. "Need something?"

By the look on his face it was clear he wasn't going to answer. She stuck out her tongue. 'Finn keep up the act, I'm outy.'

She closed the door behind her and let out a breath. She always did that after closing the door. She left behind a world of doubt, craziness. A rollercoaster that never ended. A very soft tiny voice sometimes remembered her she could leave. Leave it all behind, drive away and get a family, get happy. Be free.

'But I can't do that, I can't leave him. Not after everything.' She hated that voice, because Sands was the only family she had. 

Sunken into her thoughts she walked over the street ahead of the market. It was still early so except a few tourist and salesman there was nobody around. She liked to go shopping in the morning. It was safer and there where no annoying kids around. It was safe, she could watch all the people around her, see there faces and no-one could hide in the crowd.

She sadly smiled. Living with Sands made you turn out into a paranoid. He claimed there was always someone that wanted you death, always something chasing you. She didn't believe it all, they lived in a peaceful villages now. And who could be after him? In theory he didn't even exist anymore. Everyone thought he was death, kidnapped ore locked up in a mental institution.

While she bought some fruit and vegetables she watched a group of little kids play hide and seek. Her eye's followed the little girl scampered away, holding a half eaten piece of melon. She sat back against a wall and pushed a piece of cardboard in front of her.

Lizz grinned by the view. Suddenly her eyes narrowed, a figure jumped back behind the wall where the little girl sat. Her eyes narrowed, picked up her bag and walked further.

'Is it just because I hang out to much with Sands ore is there someone following me?' Her step speeded up a bit. A drip of sweet run down her cheek, it felt like eyes where chasing her. 'Damn, let this not be true. I don't want to run away again. Not again, not again, not again.' She turned her head, but couldn't make up her shadowed. Her fingers dug into the plastic bags. 'Whoever you are, I _won't _let you screw up my already screwed up life again!'

She walked into a ally, into the shadows. Quickly she jumped behind a car with flat tiers. The plastic bags landed on the floor and quickly she zipped open her purse. 'C'mon where is it?!' A pink fluffy wallet, a pair tampons, few piece of change, peperspray. 'Damn it!' In a flash she looked up, then hold her purse upside down and emptied it. 

A loud _kunk _echoed throw the ally. A small gun landed on the cobble-stones. Her face cleared from stress when she succeeded. She reached towards the gun. 'Found ya.'

"Lizz?!"

And she didn't know how fast she had to hide the gun. Her head flew up. A couple of feet back stood Julio, from the look of his face he hadn't seen her _yet_.

'Shit! If he sees me with this piece of killing he sooo will ask questions…' Her eyes shot open. 'And he sooo won't want to date me again if he knows this kind of stuff about me.'

"Lizz?" The young man said again. He looked around, then shrugged and turned around.

'No!' "Yeah?" Lizz said a bit to loud and stood up clumsy. Quickly she pushed the gun between her jeans behind her back.

Julio blinked. "Yeah." He looked at the car. "Where you hiding behind that car?"

Lizz felt her cheeks light up like fire. "No, off course not… I was… I, the bag broke!" She pointed down at the fallen things.

"Right." Not very convinced about her poorly excuse he walked towards her.

"Plastic bags are_ so_ not what the use to be." She stammered. 'Shut up Lizz! You're mumbling about bags! Shut it before you'll make a even bigger foul out of yourself!' Defeated by her own stupidity she kneeled down and started to pick up her stuff.

"Here let me help you." Julio offered and kneeled down as well.

"NO! No, you don't have to-" She warned him. But it was to late already.

He picked up her fluffy pink wallet and then reached out for a very personally and girly thing. Her tampons. Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Clearly Julio was just as shocked by the fact he was holding pure femininity on a string.

Lizz blinked, wanted to exploded in dying agony, grabbed the tampon and snatched it out of his hand. "Thanks." She slammed the thing back in her purse, hoping it would hurt. "I have to go home and…" 'Kill myself, hang myself, scream my lungs out ore just lock myself up so I will never have another fiasco with guy's _ever _again.'

Without finishing her sentence she jumped up and started to hurry her way out of the ally. Away from the shadows of shame. 'O, my god he so never wanna see me again…'

A warm hand grabs her shoulders.

"Hey, Lizz?"

She turns around, afraid he will make fun at her, shamefully staring down to his feet's. "Yes?"

"I had a really nice time last night?" In shock she looks up, right into his chocolate eyes that made her droll for days before she dared to talk to him. A bit pathetic, she had to agree. But she wasn't the type that would just run up to a boy and ask him out.

"You did?"

He chuckled, so cute. "Yeah, to bad you had to be back so early."

'And that thanks goes to…' She thought annoyed thinking about Sands. "I know." 'Brilliant feedback, Lizz really…'

"I didn't even got the change to say goodbye." He continued.

Another flush of red appeared up her face. He stepped a bit closer and his hand slowly moved from her thigh to her hip. Her eyes widened. She was hoping for something like this, but so soon…

"You're nothing like the other girls around here, Lizz. There snobs. And you, it's really nice to hang out with you." His other hand moved up to her cheek and brushed away a few loos strings of her blond hair. "You're special, Lizz."

This was a moment she always longed for. A guy, nice good looking guy, very hot looking guy, liking her. Liking-liking her. He stood very close against her, with on hand on her face and the other on her thigh. Like a movie moment. Everything that happens in slow-motion, with romantic music on the background.

He moved closer again and with that his hand moved down her back. That moment she froze. Her movie-moment stopped and it was time for some nasty flashbacks. Her body tensed and later she would tell herself she did it because he almost found her gun. But right now, she wanted to get the hell away, back to her house, back to Sands with his guns and back to her room to crawl under her blanket.

She grabbed his hand and knocked it away, then she stepped behind until there was over a feet space between us.

"I-…" She swallowed and didn't look up. "I gotto go home."

Then she turned away and hurried out of the ally, while she tried to suppress the tears burning in here eyes.

.-.-.

He'd been sitting in his favourite chair. A leather black one. Ore a white ore even pink one for all he would know. But the kid said it was black so he believed her words. Not like he had a choice… 

Anyway he was sitting there, for about a hour he guessed. It was hard to tell time if you had no watch, ore eyes.

The sun started to annoy him. Surprisingly, most people would be annoyed of the sharp beams of light tearing into there eyes. But after a crazy doctor, that problem was solved. Now the sun just annoyed him for being there and shin right into his face, making a Mexican day even hotter.

He stood up, counted five steps to the window and closed the curtain. Well pleased he made eight steps to the supply closet. There was one time when he had switched the light on, out of reflex. It took him a month before he wanted to open the doors again. All because he felt weak, not using a piece of cheap wood after _one _little mistake.

_Not that bad, that 'one' other mistake cost you you're-_

"Fuck you." He snapped the voice away. 'I'm not listening to you. Fuckyou, fuckyou, fuckyou, and fuck you're mother hard in hell.' He slammed the closet shut and walked into the kitchen. He opened the second closet, grabbed a glass, filled it with water and then felt in his pocket. Out of the orange jar he took one pill opened his mouth and swallowed it with much water.

'Flushed you straight to Broadway, fuckwit.' He grinned dark, opened the fridge and took out a beer. A bit low for his standards, but he emptied the tequila a few hours ago. He'd had to ask the kid to buy him some tomorrow. She wouldn't like it, but he didn't really cared much. She'd already made him smoke less, the leased she could do was get him some descent alcohol.

He sat back into his leather chair, succeeding his mission. He was bored, there wasn't much he could do and that annoyed him. So he drank, more then he use to do, mostly not to get death drunk, but with the right doses of his medication and the alcohol he could get in some lucid state. In other more understandable words, get high. See stuff, like colours. And he didn't know how long and how good his memory would work, so better see now then be damned when he was to late. 

He took a swig of his beer and already stared to feel cold again. It always began with his hands, then his arms and soon his whole body whole be cold. Sometimes he would be shivering, sometime he would feel nauseous and had to stumble to the bathroom. But mostly he just felt cold even when the Mexican sun was high above the sky.

Suddenly someone slammed the door open and he was to late to pull his gun.

"Stupid, _stupid _key's!" The girly's voice sneered into the living room. The door closed with a loud _bang._

"Well hello princess charming." He welcomed her with a sweet voice. "Nice to hear you're pleasant voice with you're kind words again." He was bored, he needed to work on someone's nerves. And Lizz was so easy to torture, like stealing candy from a pissed off teenage girl.

To his misfortune she didn't gave in to his comment and stamped right along him. It pissed him off. She wasn't suppose to ignore him. He sat up and looked at her, meaning turning his head towards her and trying to get more hints about her bearing.

'Let's changes tactics.' "You're late you know that!" He spat, raising his eyebrow giving her a cocky look. "What the hell did you bought that took so long?!"

A gasp for air. He started to grin, he pushed her right buttons.

Then he hear her running into her room, slamming with the door. He sighted, taking another swig. 'Must have her period again.' He shrugged. 'Fucking feminine thing.'

**I think we can all agree with Sands,**

**Leave something nice to read for me please after the beeb, **

**Nuky**


	4. Sweet firstlast kiss?

**Chapter 4)**** Sweet first/last kiss? **

Lizz sat on her bed, with her knees against her chin. She stared at the ground and silently cried. She wanted that for so long, a guy that thought she was special enough to kiss her. Finally after so much of failing she found one. One really special nice sweet and hot guy. Someone she thought was trustworthy, loyal and wouldn't make fun off her.

But her past started to catch up. The guy that was killed, brutally if she would believe Sands haunted her. Why now? Her step-dad was gone, shot, death, history. Why did the horrible sickening feeling came back when Julio touched her. It wasn't like he was aiming on sex ore anything?

'Right?' She sighted. 'This is going to be terrible, I just know. Terrible, horrible, unbelievable hard.' Another tear rolled down her cheek. 'Why?'

There hadn't been a reason to fear Julio, he was just being really nice and really sweet. He hadn't touched her ore forced her. He was nice, nice very nice.

"I hate me." She decided and looked into the mirror. "You're weak you know that! All you had to do was stand still and let it happen." Somehow she'd thought it would make the things from the past go away. " All you had to do was let him kiss you, it was so obvious he was going for that."

'But no, I had to run. Like a chicken, a big fat scared chicken!' She pressed her eyes shut and pinched into her knees. 'Stupid! Stupid! _Stupid!_ I can't do anything right!'

Again her breathing became hiccups and soon she was crying again. 'And now he'll hate me, because he tried to kiss me like two times and every time I reject. He probable think I'm snobby ore just being a mean bitch…'

Meanwhile a room and much self-pity further…

Sands picking up his old habit of chain-smoking. He was kind of worried but his pried would not let a weak feeling like that fuck up his so called psychopathic life. He was not going to feel worried, ore sorry. There was no 'I love you', 'I'm sorry', 'I care', in his dictionary. He was _not _the loving-peace-for-ever-guy. He was the mean-evil-villain. So off course he was not worried, he just wanted to know when the kid was cooking him dinner. Like she_ should_ be.

After a few more moments arguing with himself he stood up. It took him another few moments to walk up and knock on her door. "What the _fuck_ are you doing?!"

"GO AWAY!" She screamed.

He frowned, that was a bit to much of a reaction, now was it? "Why aren't you making dinner! I'm starving, kid!"

"Then call for some Chinese, I'm not you're god damn wife!"

"That will be a bit hard, the nearest Chinese's two thousand miles from here!" He recalled. "And quit the slang, if you're desperately trying to be cool make some _dinner_!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" After that there was a whole lot of other 'slang' Sands did think was appropriate for her.

Luckily he was calm as Ghandi. "Lizz." He said very mild. "You have five seconds TO GET YOU'RE ASS OUT OF YOU'RE ROOM!"

"YOU CAN COUNT TILL HUNDERED! This is _my _house! _I _bought it!"

"Not the point!" He growled. "Get you're ass _out_, ore I will get _in_!"

Clearly she remembered his last blunt redecorating from her room, last time she wouldn't come out of her room, he kicked in the door and shot throw the window. Off course back than it was a who different situation, back then he still had 'issues'.

The door opened. "Now, what do you want?" She said. He frowned, he didn't trust her voice. She suppressed something in it. There was something wrong. His old CIA-talent kicked in.

"So how was you're day, Lizzy-O?" He smiled.

"Okay…" By her voice he could make out she didn't bought he sudden nice behaviour.

"What did you do?" He continued.

"Went to the market, as I told you before." She said pensive. "Why the sudden outburst of interest."

"Just check'n." he reassured her. "You hear the strangest things now these day's. You never know what to expect outside, ore _who_."

She went silent and his smile wined. 'Jackpot.' " So who did you met Lizzy-O?"

"I have no idea where you're talking about." She said, waving away his words in a casual way.

"I'm sure I have no idea where I'm talking about, ore about whoever you might have met today." He reassured her. "Still I have the feeling you're not being quite honest with me. 'Caus you're being a little vague about the specific things you've done today. So, you tell me you went to the market, spent about four and a half hour there, came back without any good food, clothes, decoration items ore any other shit you mostly come home with. Now, _that's _close to impossible _Lizz_, caus' we both know you can't walk across the market without buying cheap and unneeded items."

"Stop playing psychiatric on me!" She wined. "It's annoying and it doesn't matter how much you talk, ore mind-game me, I'm not going to tell you who I met today."

His smile turned into a cocky smirk. " So, it is a _who._" He crossed his arms. "Let's see, let's see, who've you met. You're a teenage girl, all giggly, stupid and hormonal. Typical teenager, well, who did you meet, Lizzy-O?"

He did not receive a answer, the door got slammed shut again. He shook his head and laughed. She was so easily to get. And he wasn't even trying yet. Kid was smart, could think fast in hard times, he had to give her that. But plain stupid if it came to lying. One quick game of goodcop v.s badcop and she would crack. Good thing there was no way she would end up in a game like that. He would make sure of that. There was no way he would let her spill all his secrets.

'Now the boy only has to die.' He decided. The boy was trouble, could screw up his _life_ if you could call it living. And everything that stood between him and get drunk had to be eliminated.

"Well, time to eat." He told himself and walked whistling into the kitchen.

.-.-.

It was late, the sun had turned into the moon seven hours ago. Still, Lizz was awake and not planning to go to sleep any moment. She kept turning and tossing. Finally she kicked the blankets away and sat up.

Angry she looked to the door. 'I hate him, mister owh, I'm so smart.' She pouted her lips. 'Like he is that smart, he lost his eye's, not me.' Sulky she stepped up. 'If I'm not going to sleep, I better start doing something, anything.'

She was about the get herself a book for the first time in… years, but got distracted by a soft sound, coming from her window. She picked up a gun and carefully walked towards the window. It was stupid, but she still held her guard as she always looked behind. It where the things that reminded her every day of the things she'd seen and did. At that time, it didn't seem to matter. She'd witnessed dieing man, run away through whole Mexico, learned to shoot, drive a car, tent wounds and stitch them up. She'd gone used to see blood, smell gunpowder and be afraid whole the time. Back then, it was a rollercoaster of happenings and she had no time to recover from the memories. The where put in hold and appeared in her head from time to time. That's why see hated to go to sleep, that's when she found time to think, and think she did. Not just remembering, but also reliving. And Sands didn't make that all easier.

She pushed away the curtains and to her surprise she saw Julio stand outside on a balcony from a floor lower. Frowning she looked around, but couldn't see anyone but him, and he smiled at her. So she opened her window.

"Hey, can I get up?" He asked. Lizz bit her lip, she didn't feel that well and she knew Sands would kill her if he knew a stranger was in there house. On the other side, it was her house and Julio wasn't a stranger, technically.

"Sure." She answered. Julio nodded and started climbing. After a few moments he pulled himself up by the window-seat and sighted.

"That's the last time, I do that." He laughed, then a serious gaze appeared in his eye's. "Why did you leave so sudden?"

Lizz felt herself flush. Damn, she had that question coming. And it wasn't a question she wanted to answer. She shrugged and sat on the edge of her bed.

The both went silent for quite a long time.

"I had the feeling you did not want to kiss me in the ally." Julio said sudden.

Lizz stared at the floor. "No, it's not that, I just-" She paused. "It's complicated."

"Why?" Julio stood up and sat side her. "Ore you want to kiss someone, ore you don't. There is no line in between."

She gave him a odd look. "O, believe me there is." She smiled sadly. " You have no idea."

"Then tell me." He said a bit demanding. "Sorry, but the first moment you're all flirty and the other one you're dropping death cool. "

She stared to fumble with her sleeves. "Let's just say my last couple of 'dates' didn't end so well and that's a understatement."

Julio nodded slowly. "I see." Then he turned around. "But that doesn't mean I'll be like that 'last couple of dates.' "

She shyly smiled. "True."

He turned more towards her. His eye's pierced into hers, she wanted to look away because she knew she was flushing again. But he took hold of her jaw gently and turned it towards him. She looked at him again, this time more interested then frightened. He smiled at her and she could feel the butterfly circle in her belly. His other hand touched her shoulder and for a moment she wanted to pull away. His fingers slid down her arm very slowly until they found hers. There fingertips brushed briefly. She watched as his hand took hers. Slowly he bow forward. She felt her body tremble when his lips touched hers. He kissed her again and she felt the space between them reduce. She smiled, closed her eye's and parted her lips.

'Damn, he's a good kisser.' She thought and her smiled grew.

For about two seconds.

After that the door flew open. She gave Julio a hard push so he fell backwards of her bed. With a hard grunt she heard him land on the floor.

"Lizz?!" Sands muttered in the doorway. He looked a bit sleepy and disorientated.

"Yes?" She answer, so neutral as she could.

"Did you look the door?" He asked her. "Cause I would swear I heard someone."

Her eye's grew. "Uhh, yeah I did."

"You're sure?" Sands asked again and stepped into her room. "Cause I was very sure I heard something. Could also be a rat ore something…"

"Yeah, it must be a rat." She said, getting more nervous every moment because the room between Sands and her bed shrunk by the moment. "I heard there are a lots of rat around here. But I'm sure that nasty mouse as run by now!"

Sands started to laugh. "Naah, I think I found the rat." He grabbed Lizz by her shoulder and pulled her off the bed. "You have three seconds to stand up as a man and then die as one!" He pulled his gun and aimed on the bed.

"Sands! DON'T ACT SO PSYCO!"

"Shut up." He replied. "That's two seconds, amigo."

Julio stood up and stared at the gun. "Y-you don't w-want to be doing that s-señor."

"I don't?" Sands asked him. "And what makes you so sure of that?" He stepped forwards. "You come in here, in the middle of the night, just to do WHAT?!" With every words he did a step forwards, until he stood face to face with the boy. "Get the hell out before this little bitch has to clean up the blood stains and you're mommy is getting worried where you're little baby angels stays."

Julio gulped, looked at Lizz who was gesturing to the window and made a run. Lizz pulled herself loose and spur to the window.

"I'M SORRY!" She screamed, but the boy was already gone. And she couldn't blame him.

**Aww the first time I wrote down a 'sweetkiss' and Sands has to fuck it all up. You nasty little man. (pouts).**

**Please leave something sweet,**

**X Nuky **


	5. Family matter

**Thanks to all the people that have reviewed! **

**Disclaim: Sands NOT mine. **

**Chapter 5) Family matter. **

'He shot at him!' That was all she could think about. 'He actually shot. What must Julio think of me right now?' Her lip started to tremble. 'He must hate me so _much _… how can he not!?' She buried her face in her pillow. 'Why do I have to be the girl that lives with Sands?! Why can't I just have a dad and a mom and some little brother to bug? No, I have to live with mister Chaos…'

She hadn't slept at all. First she had made some torture plans for Sands, but that didn't make her feel better at all. Okay, a little… But it did not solve her biggest problem. Julio… Julio Lopez, that sounded like a hot actor, or some super model. And she kissed him and it had been…_wow…_

Until Sands threatened him and made him flee through the window…

She grabbed her pillow and smacked it through her room. 'Alright self-pity-time is over! Lizz, you want that guy, go for it!... but please don't make a bigger fool out of yourself than you already did…'

She opened her closet and searched some descend clothes and put them on. Next was her make up, or what was left of it. Her mascara was around her cheeks, her nose her mouth… well almost everywhere it did not belong.

She washed it off and put some new on. This time waterproof, you never knew.

She grabbed her keys and silently slipped out of her room.

"Where are you going?" Sands snapped from behind the sofa when she opened the front door.

"Non of your damn business, bastard." She mumbled and closed the door.

.-.-.

Julio lay under a car screwing back a bolt into place. He whipped away the sweat with his wrist and placed the screwdriver next to him. He narrowed his eyes and checked all the leaking parts again. 'It'll do. For today.'

He pushed himself from under the car and nodded proudly at his own truck. It was old, leaking, breaking, rumbling, smelling, but it was his.

"Looks good to me." He heard his dad saying. He got tapped on the shoulders and his dad gave him a agreeable look. "Now, back to work, there are a lot of other cars to fix and the shop doesn't run itself."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm working on it." Julio grumbled not so pleased. His parents owned a gas station and a garage. Since he could remember he was helping and working covered in oil and dirt all day. It wasn't easy to run the shop, but it made good money since they where the only garage slash gas station in town. And with some help of family from time to time they always manages to make it.

He walked out of the garage, crossed a dirty path and walked through the backdoor of the gas station. His mom mostly did all the work, but it had been very busy lately and she also had three little kids to take care of.

"The troops have arrived mamá." He joked and threw his dirty shirt in the corner.

His mom was not so pleased. "Julio Leonardo Rafaelo Lopez! How many times have I told you not to through your dirty cloths in the shop! People might see them!" Huffing she picked up his clothes and muttering some Spanish curses he left.

Julio rolled his eyes. He hated when she did that. He'd been working all day and she started to complain about his dirty stuff. Angry he walked to the back and pulled out a cleaner shirt. It was hot in the shop, he was melting from the heat.

They sold all kinds of things, books, strips, drinks, food, souvenirs. Even some basic medicines and drinks with low alcohol. The shop was tiny and full with racks stuffed with items.

Julio walked to the freezer and opened the door. A cold breeze made him ease. 'That's much better.' He looked at the clock, it was three minutes past six.

'Great now I have to sit out until closing time.' He thought irritated. His mom just had started dinner, his dad was still working on some cars so he had to sit here until eight.

He sat down behind the counter and grabbed a comic. Not like he had anything better to do. Off course he could go fill up the racks, or mob the floor. But he had worked hard enough today. It was Saturday, normal teens would be hanging out with friends. But he couldn't he had to work, _all day_!

He was so into the book that he jumped when the door opened and the bell started to jingle. The comic book slipped through his fingers and he duck behind the counter to get it.

"Julio?"

Surprised he smacked his head against the underside of the counter. He hissed, rubbed his head and stood up.

Lizz stood in front of the counter, face worried and her hand playing with her bracelet.

A little clumsy he places the comic on the wood. "Lizz, so ehhe, how are you?"

"Could do better." She answered. "Julio I'm so sorry for everything." She bit her lip. "Normally he doesn't act that way. Normally he just…" She stopped and rethought what she wanted to say. "I think it's because you're a guy and he can be so overprotective sometimes. Like last time I had a date, wow he was pissed and-"

"- Lizz." he managed to get through the endless string of words. "I'm not mad." 'at you.' "It's not you're fault that, that…-" 'psychopath, idiot, freak.'… " -He fired at me." He gave her a smile. He hadn't blamed her, he blamed that crazy gringo she lived with. He did not know what was going on inside that house when he was not around, but he would find out. He would not leave her alone wit the insane gringo. " But I don't think you should live there any longer."

Her mouth fell open. "What?!" She started to laugh. "No, you get it all wrong. It's not such big of a deal. Sands' is a bit… well, strange lately. But he's not all that dangerous or something."

He rose an eyebrow. He absolutely didn't believe a _thing_ she was telling him. But he could not blame her, she had no other place to go. Or she did not want him to be worried. Sweet, but she could trust him. He wanted to help her out with her problem, in this case, the gringo. But right now he could better play along, until it was the right time.

"If you say so." He said, still not sounding convinced. " Hey, my mom always cooks to much, are you staying for dinner?"

She thought for a second. "All right!"

"Kay!" He looked at the clock, looked at the empty shop and shrugged. 'There is no-one around, let's close early today.' He locked the door, and took the garbage bag from the trashcan.

"Let's go." He opened the back door for her and followed her outside.

"Is this all from your family?" She asked pointing at the shop, the garage and the house behind the garage.

"It is." He answered and dumped the bag in the container outside.

"Looks big." She said impressed.

"It looks big, but it's not really that big and believe me the outside looks at much a dump as the inside." They walked across the dirty sand through the garage, he warned her to watch her step and pointed out some cars he'd been working on.

He knocked on the door.

A small boy opened, he was changing teeth, both his front teeth were missing. "Mamá is mad at you!" He warned laughing.

"Shut up, Miguel." He growled to his much younger brother. Miguel laughed and stuck out his tongue.

"You're going to be in so much trouble!" He nagged and pulled the door further open. "MOM YOUR LITTLE CHICO IS HOME!"

"You little-" Julio snapped but got interrupted by his mothers high scream.

"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THE SHOP OPEN, DIDN'T I?!" His mom, wearing a apron, her hair in a knot, his younger sister whining in her arm, holding a wooden spoon in the other. She came marching to the door. "I'M WORKING ALL DAY, COOKING, CLEANING, FEEDING, CHANGING! AND I ASK YOU TO-"

She spotted Lizz outside on the porch. "Owh! You brought a guest! Why didn't you say so?!" She pushed the wooden spoon in the sobbing toddler's arms and grabbed Lizz her hand. "You must be Lizz! I'm making Tortillas, I hope you like it, you are staying for dinner?" Before the girl could say a thing she got dragged in, into the kitchen.

Julio stared a bit stunned into his house.

"Chico has a girlfriend!" he heard his two younger brothers singing teasingly.

Julio blinked, restored and shot daggers at the two boys sticking their heads through the bars from the stairs. The two boys, Paco en Miguel laughed and run up the stairs.

Julio shook his head, grinning. 'This could become a long, long meal.

.-.-.

Lizz looked stunned at the cheery lady in front of her. She was older then she had expected, had some grey locks through her black curling hair, fine lines where visible in the corners of her eyes and mouth. But her eyes still looked very young, full of spirit and temper.

She was telling her all about the family recipe that had been in her generation for ages. Meanwhile she was still holding the girl who was playing with the spoon and making high sounds.

Suddenly the woman turned around. "How stupid of mine! I haven't even said my name. Lorena! Lorena Lopez!" She wiped the sauce of her hand and smiled.

"I'm Lizz, Smit." Lizz said and had to say her name sounded so lame compared to miss Lopez. "Nice to meet you Miss Lopez."

"O, please call me Lorena, I'm old. But not that old!" She giggled and threw some chopped red peppers in the sauce.

"Okay, Lorena, is it okay if I stay for dinner, I know you hadn't expect-"

"Sure you can girl! Everyone is always welcome here!" She assured Lizz. "You're lucky we will be eating soon!"

She picked up some plates. "Mind putting them on the table. I'm a bit busy." She pointed at the now asleep girl in her arms.

"No, not at all." Lizz said and walked to the dinner table.

"MOM!" The plates got gripped out of Lizz her hands. "MOM!" Julio yelled again. "She's a guest, she doesn't have to do that!"

"Then you do it." Lorena snored and took the pan of the fire. "Can you call your brothers and your dad, it's dinner time."

Julio rolled his eyes and quickly places the plates on table.

"PACO! MIGUEL! FOOD!" He yelled upstairs, grabbed his sis from his mothers arm and places her in her kiddie seat.

Lizz received a hopeless smile from him when the girl started to cry again.

"MAMÁ! CHICO MADE LUU CRY AGAIN!" One of the boy's yelled, grinning to their older brother.

"NO SQUEELING PACO SIT DOWN!" Lorena snapped and stepped into the room with a plate of tortilla.

Mocking the boy sat down, next to his other brother who was making faces at his little sis. The girl looked and started to giggle.

In the meantime mister Lopez had walked in, rubbing his hands with an old dirty cloth.

"Dad, this is Lizz." Julio introduced her. Mister Lopez grinned and winked. "Ramon, would love to shake your hand, but that stuff will never come off again."

"You better not get stains in my table-cloth, I just bought a new on!" Lorena huffed.

"I will make sure of that, _Tica_." Her husband assured her.

The whole family sat down. Julio seemed a bit nervous, Lizz didn't really understand why though. The two boys were annoying each other, poking the other in the ribs until their mom snapped. The little girl called Lucia, tried to grab a plate and mumbled her own name over and over, 'Luu, Luu, Luu.'

Ramon, Julio's dad started to talk about the few cars he'd set back together that day and Lorena complained about the ice machine that broke again.

"So and how long have you been living her?" Ramon suddenly asked.

Lizz blinked and started to notice everyone stared at her, including Luu. "Ehhe, almost three months I think."

"And did you came from America?" Lorena asked.

Lizz started to feel a bit nauseous. "No, I've been living in Mexico for a while. First I lived much more south, but there was a Coup in that town and I-… we- didn't feel much for staying there any longer."

"I can understand that." Lorena nodded. "So you live with your mom or dad, I haven't seen new faces in town."

'Crap, this could turn ugly.' Lizz thought. "Well, my dad kinda ran away when I was a kid and my mom…" She wanted to lie as less as she could. "Couldn't take care of me anymore, because… Because… because she, she was very depressed." Lorena nodded and gave her a understanding look.

That gave Lizz hope her story sounded trustworthy. "Luckily I still had an uncle where I could live, but he had to go work in Mexico and I had to come with him. That's why I couldn't finish high school."

"You poor thing." Lorena said. "Well, at least you're settled again. I'm sure everything's going to be alright!"

Lizz nodded sheepish. 'You have no idea…'

.-.-.

After dinner Julio and Lizz walked outside. It had become dark and the stars stood bright in the sky.

"I'm so sorry for my family…" Julio apologised. "They're great but sometimes a pain in the butt."

Lizz turned around. "What do you mean!? Your family is great!" She clapped her hands and smiled. "I wish I had a family like that, you don't even know how lucky you are!"

"Lucky?" Julio asked. "I have two younger brothers that nag me all day, one little sister who destroys half of my things and a mom that's mocking me all day!"

"That's not true, your mom is the best, she's really nice-"

"-Yes, to guests."

"- And brothers are suppose to be annoying. And your sister is so cute."

Julio shrugged. "I guess they will do."

"Your family is awesome, it must be great living here." She sadly smiled.

"Well, if you want you can come live here. We still have a closet room." He joked half.

"That would be cool, but I can't." She seemed a bit down. "Julio I gotta go. Thanks for inviting me, I had a great time."

"Well, next time we will do something fun." He promised. He grabbed her hand and stared into her eyes. He would have kissed her again but something related had to spoil the moment.

"JULIO IS KISSING A GIRL!!!!" His two brothers yelled through a window on the second floor.

He turned around. "SHUT UP! GO BUG SOMEONE ELSE!"

Lizz giggled. "I better go, see you around!"

"Well, I'll be in the shop or garage the rest of the week." He sat miserable. "We're very busy at the moment."

"I'll come by." She promised and waved as she walked away.

Julio waited until she walked around the corner and sighted.

"JULIO AND LIZZY SIT'N IN A TREE!-"

"-That's it! You two are _dead_!" He turned around and run inside, while his two brothers screamed and closed the window. Screams filled the house, Luu started to cry, his mom got mad and his dad started to laugh. Yes, the 'perfect' family.

**Yes a whole lot of new characters. But don't worry the main characters will stay Sands and Lizz and… well her new sorta boyfriend, Julio. You might think th****is will become a love story, or something romantic. **

**Believe me it WILL NOT!**

**I'm not really the type to write sappy lovestory-thingys. I'm not good at that. Sure, there will be some little romance but nothing big, I promise. Soon there will happen something I can't say to much, but soon something drastic will happen. Something from the past (livin' la vida loca)…**

**X Nuky**


	6. A Wake up call

**Chapter 6) A Wake up call. **

The girl ran around al bouncy and cheery. He hated that. She ran through the apartment as she tried to fly. It annoyed him. Chain smoking he sat on his bed, facing the door. He knew what she was up to. She was all into that… kid. She was in… love and way to happy for her own good. If this was going to last long, rings got carried out, fucking bells would sound and it was adios Lizzy-O.

So he had to stop that, because she was not going to leave for some little punk that had more luck than balls. This was suppose to be life now. He and the girly. Him battling to keep his mind in control and she would stick around in case something bad happened. He hated it, but he needed that. Yeah, _he _needed someone.

'The kid has to go or die, because I'm not going back to that centre. I'm not crazy…'

'_Sure you__'re not… You just like to talk to yourself, that's all.'_

'Indeed.'

'_So you__'re gonna shoot the fuck, Shel?'_

'I might if I have to.'

'_But she lovesssss that little latino.'_

'She also loves Ricky Martin and she didn't exploded when I broke that CD.'

'_No, not exploded. She was upset and didn't speak to you for a day. If you kill little Latino y__ou broke her crush. She ain't gonna like that Shel.' _

'Since when are you helping me anyway?!'

'_What? The kid is indeed to close. You wanted to let the girl live, fine she can dig it. But not that boy. He's to town__-like. Talks to much, savvy? What if the whole village knows the truth about you? I don't think you will make it back to the Centre. I think you have to get delivered in pieces.'_

'So that means Mario has to go.'

'_Dead or alive. It doesn't matter much.'_

'It does idiot. Blood makes stains and I'm not very qualified to clean the carpet.'

'_Then use your psycho skills, dumbshit. Scare the living shit out of him or go CIA on him. You know the drill.'_

He nodded and continued smoking. This was going to be easy, he just needed a plan.

.-.-.

'Where the heck did I leave my shoes?!' Lizz thought nervously. She was going to meet Mario in half an hour and she still needed to do her hair, nails, make up, pick better clothes and-

"Found you!" She duck down at the coffee table, pushed away Sands his leather boots and dragged her white sandals from under it. Discussed she looked at the mess around, mostly Sands' and empty bags. 'Sure he's too 'blind' to clean up and somehow I have to be the one cleaning after him.' Sulky she picked up a couple cans of beer and threw them in a trashcan.

'And I told him to go easy on them. But don't listen to Lizz who tries to make you better. No just keep drinking yourself into a coma. Stupid ass.'

She dumped some more trash away and started to fiddle with her hair, glaring at the girl in the mirror. 'For once do what I say, please, for once!' Finally she pulled her hair into a pony tail and made a funny face. She watched Sands' door for a moment before whipping away a lose string. 'I wonder what he's being up to. It's to quite in the house. That mostly means he's plotting something or doesn't want to talk. And that's never good.'

Doubtfully she thought of walking into his room or just leave without saying goodbye. She felt much for the latter, he started to be the big control freak if she told she would leave. Like a psycho-dad. How late will you be back!? Who are you going to meet?! Where are you going?! Where is that?! Is that close around?! How old is that kid anyway?! Do you know what guys want?! Do you have any idea how fucking stupid and retarded you are for hanging out with that fag?! And so on.

Somebody knocked on the door and her mood switched completely. "I'm coming!" She cheered and made a spurt to the door. But when she opened it there was no Mario waiting for her. Not even that salesman who made her buy rubbish every time. There only lay a brown map on the ground.

'Great, now even the mailman is to scared to hand mail.' Sulky she grabbed the map and made a mental note to talk with Sands about his out of hand behaviour every time there was someone at the door.

Not very interested she tossed the map on the coffee table and started to fiddle with her hair a bit more. She did a few things and finally decided she better get her hair cut and let it hang around her face. That way she wouldn't have to go through all the make up.

Through the mirror her eyes landed on the map. _Classified._ It said in red.

Her eyes narrowed. 'That's not something the mailman brings around.' Uneasy she watched through all the windows and felt around. She took a scissor and took the map. Then she made a run to her room and silently closed the door. She started to move her cabin and pushed it in front of her door. That way no-one would walk in, even Sands wasn't good to have around with something called classified. That meant trouble and he was so bored he would embrace trouble. And the last thing she wanted was to get back into danger, drive all day and keep out of the fire line.

She sat back on her bed and opened the map. Shocked she started to read through the files and her hands started to shiver from nervousness:

_Formal CIA agent, recruited first in Chicago for a few small missions. Quickly showed he was capable of bigger things, I highly doubted it at first, seeing his 'condition' and history. He is smart, might even call him brilliant and he won't hold back. _

_Next mission was in Vegas, he again made great progress. He won't be stopped and he has a way of talking. People believe what he's telling them. You might be surprised how sane he's around other people. That's so dangerous about him. He's unpredictable. We got him a partner, but after a few weeks we could clean up after him. His partner was dead, shot into shred. He ensured us it was the Maf. But I know better. Can't prove a thing, but after this last 'incident' I let him play solo. That way everyone would be happy. If he screws up that's his problem, we just look away and toss him on his sickness. And if he succeeds we just give him a next mission and so on. It doesn't really matter if we lose him. There is no-one that will miss him._

_Last mission turned into chaos. We had to clean up to much and to many people had to die. Not just from the Maf but also innocent bystanders. We had to, we can't afford rumours about a CIA-agent that pulled out his badge in a shop and shot an ordinary guy, took three hostages and threatened to kill them all. Luckily one of them had connections to the Mafia, else we had to take cover. So we decided to get him to Mexico. Because he's brilliant, but to dangerous for the USA. In Mexico he won't be noticed surrounded by Cartel and drug lords. We give him his assignments and if he doesn't work them out correctly we will make it look like an accident. Not that people will ask, but just in case._

That was page 24. There where a lot more registers about data, missions and targets. It where many pages and the thing that freaked her out was every page was signed with the name _Daily_. She turned more pages, thrilled and scared what she would read next.

There was a list of his medical report, going back until his mid teens. It was a long list, full of broken bones, concussions and bruises. Next to it was a list of child diseases, injections and a few medications he was allergic to.

She turned the page and slapped her hand for her mouth. A few moments she couldn't do more then just stare and breath.

Between the two papers lay a picture of Sands, taken a few years back. His face was less pale, his hair was more clean and well kept. But the thing that made the picture so intense and surreal was the fact Sands had eyes. Dark and cold eyes, but beautiful and fearless. With a gaze of a murderer and a hint of mockery. They were alive and no trace of madness.

Unintentional her eyes started to water. She kept staring at the picture and couldn't let it go. 'This is you. The real you.' She had to say he didn't look bad, kinda sexy if you were into villains. 'O my god.'

She turned to the last page, there was a little note.

_If you are interested you may call me anytime, __a mobile number followed.. _It was written in a rush.

Her heart thumbed in her throat, she tore out the last page and dumped the map under her mattress. She pushed her cabin back and ran to the door.

"I have to go do something!" She yelled and didn't wait for an answer. She slammed the door shut and ran outside.

.-.-.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry I can't make it Julio." She muttered, feeling bad she had to lie. "But I really don't feel good." She coughed and watched her watch. "Yeah, kay I see you in a few days."

Liz sighted and hung up. She picked some change from her wallet and made sure nobody was watching her. She figured it was best if she called from a telephone-box across town. If they could track the number it wouldn't lead to something very close from her home. And Sands didn't go outside that much so no worry about him bumping into whoever the hell those people where. She just hoped they didn't know much about her.

She dialled the number on the paper. It took some time before someone picked up.

"Hi, Djessy speaking."

Lizz froze and thought she got the wrong number.

"Hello? Hello? I think there is something wrong with the phone."

She swallowed. "No, it's not. Who am I speaking to?"

There was a long pause. "O, I guess you got the map then." Another pause. "Good, excellent."

Her fingers almost crushed the phone. "Where did you get the nerve to come up with that thing!" she yelled. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to disappear?! And what the fuck do I have to do with that map?! Find out other things he'd done, people he'd killed. I know he's out of his mind! I know that! I've been around!"

A long pause after her anger. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I didn't want to cost you any trouble-"

"- Then why bother to track me down? Why bother to send me the map! What do you want from me?!"

"I don't want anything from you. I just like to know how my patient is doing-"

"-Patient?! Are you one of those shrinks who pumped him full of drugs! Because of you he lost it for a long time! So fuck off! We don't need you, we're fine now!"

"Really? You are saying he's completely normal and isn't a threat to society?" The woman on the other end asked.

Now Lizz went quiet and that bothered her not just because of the teacher-like tone the woman had spoken on.

"That will be a _no_ then. And don't worry I'm not intending to drag him back to the Centre. After everything I've seen I don't think it's for his best to be here. But I'm sure he's unpredictable."

"So what is it what you want?" Lizz snapped.

"I want to keep him out of trouble, I want to keep him out of the CIA and he interests me. You interest me because somehow you have something I have not. And I want to know what."

"Why should I want to do anything with you?" Lizz asked. "I don't know you and I don't care. And I really don't want to be your next project."

"You want to be taking care of him the rest of your life? I'm not saying he is dangerous right now. But what if something triggers him? What is something goes wrong? Will you be able to stop him? Or does the police have to do that. I think you read all the files, so you know what he's capable of if he wants too."

How much she hated to remember, she knew what he could do. He sometimes acted like a puppy but truth was far from it. He was strong, smart and didn't got lead by his emotions, frankly because he didn't got bothered much by them. If he, or it, wanted to kill her. She wouldn't be able to do anything, she couldn't shoot him. Not him. Or he could kill someone else, an innocent bystander. And she was not sure what she would do if that happened.

"So, what are you suggesting then?" She asked blunt.

"Keep me informed. I want to know what he is doing, what you are doing, his behaviour, what kind of medication he is taking."

Somehow that made Lizz giggle. "He is not taking anything."

"What?! You know his condition! He should be taking something." The woman snapped at her.

"Well he is taking something, child aspirins. I just tell him it's anti-psychotica."

"Why?"

"Because he drinks a lot and those pills are strong and it nearly killed him once before. And he's doing alright now. As long as he things the pills make him better he _is_ better. When he's really close to losing it I'll give him the strong stuff. He just needs to think he's in control."

"Fascinating. But you should give him the real pills."

"No, I won't. He _is _doing alright. I can dig it. He drinks to much for those pills. He will die."

"Then make him drink less."

Lizz laughed coldly. "Yeah, you try doing that. Good luck." It was quiet on the other end of the line. "So did you hear anything from 'Daily'?" She asked calm, while her fingers made a attempt to uncurl the wire of the phone. Normally she would start to ramble if she got nervous but she had to keep cool. Because this call could mean the end of her quiet life.

"No, I did not. I never met that man, I think. It surprised me there was no number of him in the map, normally therapists leave some information about themselves in a confidential map. There was a phone number but no-one answered."

'No kidding that guy is getting mushy and smelly at the moment.' Lizz thought tight-lipped. "Strange." She said casual but her hand was shaking from anger. Meanwhile she tried to file everything the shrink was telling her. It might be a trick, or not.

"Lizz?" The female voice asked. "I think you might like to know, he mentioned you when I spoke to him. And that was something because he hardly spoke or made any other sign he was still in the 'real world.' "

"Yeah, that's probably because you pumped him full of drugs." She snapped back, then eased. "But thanks, whoever you are. That means a lot to me."

"No problem. I have to go now, Lizz. I don't want to force you into anything. I just like to talk to you. Let everything I've said sink in and call me in about a week if you like. If not, that's good to. I will leave it up to you."

"Kay." She answered shortly.

"Bye, Lizz."

"Bye." She hung up the phone and kept staring at the thing for a long time. Until a very big Mexican woman gave a loud slam on the door and started to gesture she was in a big hurry.

Lizz ignored the name-calling when she scampered out of the cell and walked back to her apartment, puzzled. She decided to take the stairs, the extra few minutes away from Sands would do her good. Without interfering he'd succeed to mess up her thoughts again. Sleepless nights and headaches were in her near future and a whole lot more that she didn't know about.

**Please be so kind to leave some for the writer. **

**X Nuky**


	7. Lair, lair, foul, foul

**For a month or so I was sure people had abandoned the OUATIM fics. ****When I was ready to commit suicide (just kidding people) I got some reviews that saved the day. **

**Special thanks to Ditte3, for the many reviews and all the kind words. **

**Chapter 7) Lair, lair, foul, foul. **

There was something wrong. Drastically wrong. And it was not the kid he was worried about it. It was the she, the girly. She was holding back something. The last few days she was on the tip or her toes with everything. And damn, she was a lousy liar. When she thought he was asleep she would call to someone in the middle of the night. In her room on a new mobile phone he hadn't heard before.

'_It might just be the Latino Shel.' _

'And if it isn't, then what?' He thought distressed, he didn't like the fact he wasn't sure to trust her or not. It had always been on of his tiny little problems. Fuck, he'd grown a habit out of it.

'_That's right Shel, never trust a thing.' _

'Can you please stop being my fucking baby-sit and start working on a solution.'

'_Fine, let's get to the point. Do you really need the girl?'_

'Yes, she is my eyes and because of her I don't need to get out.'

'_In other words, she has you by the__ fucking balls? Shel, your trapped by a little girl. She needs to die if you ask me.'_

'Drop it fucker, she is not going to die. She is not the problem, at the moment. Lill' niño is.'

'_Or someone __else…'_

'Like who, everyone thinks I'm dead.'

'_Don't be so __green. If someone has enough dough and guts they'll find out your not quit as dead as most of us want you to be.'_

Sands sighted and had to agree.

"Your going again?" he snapped at Lizz when she flee to the door.

"Yes, I kinda need to pick up some things from the pharmacy." She answered a bit distressed by his angry tone.

"Sure, leave me here to rot to death." And he pushed on the volume button of the remote control. A soap opera was on, god how much he hated that.

"Well…" She carefully started. "You can come with me if you have nothing more interesting to do." The girl carefully suggested.

His jaw twitched. "Yeah and get shot to shred or get locked up again, don't think so goldilocks."

She was clearly a bit upset by his hard words. "It was just a question Sands, don't get all paranoid."

He rose both his eyebrows. "Paranoid? Me? I'm not the one sneaking throw the house all day. Don't think I'm retarded just because I can't see a flying fuck!"

Now she was offended for real, he could pick that up by the way her breathing got shallow and her fingers rushed throw her hair. He'd because quit good at estimate peoples emotions by audible bearing, well at least hers.

"You need to get out more Sands." She paused and picked up something from the desk across the room. "It's not good for a person to spend so much time inside, defiantly not for you."

"Sure, admiring the _view_ of the fancy town will make me feel so much better." He sneered sarcastic.

"That's not what I-"

"- Well what the fuck are you saying then?! You want me to get out, why? What's the big catch there Lizzy-O? It's that punk ass no-good Latino wannabe ain't it?! There is something wrong since the day he came around. Did he put you up to something?! Tell me what the fuck IS _GOING ON_!"

He hadn't realised yet he was standing a few inches away from Lizz, practically screaming in her face.

But she didn't seem that intimated by that, after living so long around him she didn't flinch that much anymore for one of his outbreaks. "I _so_ hope the pharmacy have your meds 'caus your getting loco, again."

It was like she'd soaked him throw with gasoline and handed him a lighter. That tone of hers, so uninterested and casual, like he just asked her for a cup of tea. That… _way_ of getting under his skin, just by ignoring the fact that he was threatening her. Didn't she see how _close _he was to rip her hairs out, us her body for shooting practise.

Clearly not. _Fine_, then he would help her see that.

"O, I'm getting there kid and when I'm I damn well hope you're here because I'm feeling trigger-happy." He pointed his index finer against his temple and then at her. "I'm feeling _very _happy…" Innocent people can die fast you know. Not me, I ain't innocent. But you are. And that little señor is." He smiled wickedly. "But I can make it long, make it hours until I feel happy enough to pull the trigger."

The door closed and well-pleased he pushed his hand in his pocket. 'Turn up the light, Lizzy. I won.'

.-.-.

She run down the stairs from the apartment. At the last step she sat down and fought to keep the tears in. 'Crazy bastard, I just asked him one question and hell breaks lose.' She leaned on her arm and blew some strings out of her face. 'He's suspecting something. He knows I'm doing something, he might have heard me call Djessy. That's not good.'

She'd kept in contact with her over the last six days, to report any strange behaviour or side effects of the stuff she was giving him. She had stopped giving him aspirins and gave him the 'real deal,' some wacko pills Djessy suggested. They where still a bit illegal in the US, but in Mexico it was easier to get what you wanted. Nobody asks questions as long as you pay them enough.

Still, the pills could have a nasty effect on him, but worse then his own unpredictable mood swings? So therefore she kept in contact.

And they didn't just talked about Sands, but also about her. Surely she never gave away places, names, numbers or whatsoever. She'd picked up some of Sands habits of suspecting a gun at her head every second. She didn't like the fact that she started to be as paranoid as her roomy. And she still wasn't sure what Djessy _really _wanted.

But it felt so good to talk to some stranger, someone other than Mr. Chaos and Destruction. To talk to a woman, to have someone to listen to her and make some decisions. She'd missed that the biggest part of her life. Someone to get you throw a long day, to give you advise.

'I'm missing a mom.' She thought miserable. It wasn't that she couldn't take care of herself. That wasn't the problem at all, she'd been doing that since she was eight or so. And with Sands around she didn't have to fear for a criminal breaking in. She could only feel sorry for the poor burglar that set foot in Sands' his room.

No, it was more that warm shoulder to cry on. To hug and yell at if something went wrong or you felt bad. To watch a movie with, go buy clothes, bake cookies. Someone to rebel against, stay up late, go out whole night. Get grounded.

She wasn't able to do those things with Sands. No way. He wasn't a very good roll model. Sure, she could yell at him, but he would only yell back twice as hard. Sure, she could come back three your around six in the morning, walking in all tipsy and sick finding out he blew half of the furniture and drunk as much as she'd done all night.

"Lizz?"

When she looked up she noticed Julio walking towards her a bit unease.

"Are you crying?" He sat down next to her and looked rather worried.

"No, it's nothing really." She smiled quickly and brushed the few tears that made it to her cheek away. "I'm fine. Fine as can be." 'If living with Sands can be defined as _fine_.'

Julio frowned and turned to her apartment. "It's him, isn't it. Did… did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?"

She bit her lip and felt redness start to flush up in her face. "No, no I just…" She tried to smile again. "We just had a little fight over nothing really."

By the look on his face she knew he wasn't buying it at all. 'Crap, how am I going to save my ass out of this?' She didn't want to lie to him. Because with lying is a big no-no, a relation breaker.

That, and she was a terrible lair.

"About what?"

Now she flushed till full house. "Sorry?"

He gave her a long and concerning look. "Where did you fight about?"

She blurted out the first thing that came up in her mind. "P-phonebill?"

His frown disappear while his eyebrow rose. "You where fighting over a phonebill? Why?"

'O shittedi-shit. How on earth will I save myself out of this?' "Yeah, I've been chatting to much lately. You know how girls can be. Talking to much, not watching the time fly by. And he can be so mad when I do that." She started to giggle out of nervousness. Damn it felt like she got interrogated by Sands.

"To who where you calling?" Julio asked, just as sudden as all the cops can do on tv.

"To… my ant. In… the US, so… that's very expensive. And it's my ant, so it's his ex… And he doesn't like her anymore. He kinda… hates her at the moment. But you know sometimes it's good to talk to relatives… And since I don't have that many anymore, it's good to keep in contact." She was surprised of her own acting talent and sneakiness. Not only did she came up with a pretty good reason of a 'normal' fight between a uncle and his niece, but also threw in the 'family matter'. And there was no way a nice guy like Julio would bring up the fact that her parents where both gone. To be sure of that she threw in the last card.

"Sometimes it can be so difficult to live without your mom and dad you know?" To make sure there conversation about the fight was finished she sniffed a bit and looked away. 'That might over do it a bit.'

But Julio didn't seem very aware of her melodramatic act and started to get even more nervous. Lizz took quickly advantage of that.

"Shall we go do something nice, last time I couldn't make it and I'm dying to go do something fun."

.-.-.

He was trying to fix himself some dinner when 'problem-child' came rushing back in. The way she was humming one of her favourite songs (no this time not from Faggy Martin but from Enrique-I'm-gay-but-I-fuck-with-kournikova-Inglesias) made him lose his appetite. Somehow he had the feeling she hadn't been running from there home to the pharmacy and back. Because she'd been gone for three hours or more.

"So I'm guessing they had the meds then, seeming your in such a happy mood." He said, surprised by the eased tone he used.

"Huh? SHIT." He got for an answer.

Utterly slow he turn around and leaned on the kitchen cabin. "Somehow I get the feeling you forgot to collect something for me." She kept silent, standing in the middle of the living room if he heard correctly. He crossed his arms and rose on eyebrow. "Am I correct?"

A sight in defeat, followed by heavy steps into the kitchen. "Yes your right. I _forgot _to pick up your meds. And yes, before I give you the chance to explode because I held something secret, I _did _hang out with Julio. And _before _your nasty thought start to linger we didn't make out. Well we did- Anyway, he taught me how to drive his car."

A bit discussed he tried to ignore the first part of her afternoon-activities. "You can drive cars already, sure you drive like a chick but other then that your quit capable of joyriding."

"I know that and you know that. But he doesn't know that. And I'm barely old enough to drive. And I don't have a driver's license-"

"So you lied to him, tsk Lizzy shame on you…"

"Not lied, just didn't tell him. That's something else Sands." She excused herself.

"I always took you for a honest girl, Lizzy. Where did it go all wrong…"

Now she started to get annoyed by him. "Can you please drop the issue! It hard enough living with you and come up with excuses so Julio doesn't think I'm some weirdo."

Sands held his hands up and made a shushing gesture. Then turned around and started finding his way into the fridge. He grins when he finds a beer.

"What!"

"Nothing, girly. Just wondering how long you'll keep up the act around your lover." He walked by her and razes up his beer. "Cheers sugar, you will need it."

When he sat down in front of the TV he hears her scamper of to her room, not humming nor rushing. It makes his grin turn into a soft chuckle. 'This is going to be so _easy_.'

'_You don't know that yet Shel. Might be the best to keep your mind straight.' _

'Why, scared I'll blur out in confessions after one beer?'

'_No, more that you'll drown yourself after the next three. Your starting to be a bad drunk.' _

'Doesn't bother me and it shouldn't have to bother you since _I'm _the one in charge.'

'_If I let you, soon you'll be puking your guts out. Just like last time.' _

Sands sighted and crushed the empty cane. It bugged him the kid hadn't brought any pills on her way back from señor loveless. It bugged him even more he had no control over the voice he started to hear louder. The girl thought he still had half a jar of wicked pills, how could she know he'd flushed them in a haze of smug and drunkenness. Then it had seemed as a good idea. But no he started to pull his action in doubt.

'_Bad drunk, bad drunk, bad drunk… Sounds familiar Shelly-bear?' _

His fingers clutched so tight around the remote he was sure he heard the thing crack. For a moment the thought of just asking her to get him some stuff lingered in the back of his mind. But no, off course his proud won it from his sense. Manly because he was in lack of it.

'_You better keep doing what I tell you to do Sheldon. You better make sure that boy is dead or at least is to scared to show his face around here. Do you understand compadre? He needs to stay away, one way or the other.' _

"Yeah, yeah I get it. Boy needs to get out, girl needs to stay in. Christ you hard can it be to break up two teens?"

**It took me longer then expected to write this chapter down. Finally I made it. I took me so long because I needed to keep at the storyline I've thought out. ****The story is still starting up as a matter of fact.**

**And I'm still in big lack of good beta, so that's why all the spelling sucks. Don't blame the writer, blame… the no-betaperson.**

**But please be so kind to leave some goodies for me, I need that to exist. **

**X Nuky**


	8. Night vision

**Took me a while to write this chapter. Halfway I thought I was done, but then some of Sands thought started to came up. Bastard always know his way of forcing his face in the picture. ****Arrogant … **

**Chapter 8) ****Night vision. **

Julio sat in his room, leaning backwards on his chair. Sunken into his thoughts he watched throw his window towards the apartment across. His room was at the attic so he had a good view on the large building facing him. He didn't like the fact that Lizz was in there. Alone with the loco. Maybe they had a fight right now. Maybe he was doing something to her, right now. And he just sat in his room, refusing to look away from the window.

He still didn't understood why her parents left her with him. He might be her uncle, he might be a relative but wasn't she better off with a normal family? With a normal dad a normal mom and some normal brothers and sisters. Sure, all families where a bit bizarre, his for instance was far from the normal term. But they stood up for each other and it was safe.

'And it's not safe where she lives. He has a gun. And he shot at me. He is insane.' Focussed on the windows of her apartment he stood up and sat down at the window-seat. He saw someone walk along the window but couldn't see it clear enough.

He duck down his bed and started to go throw his junk. After a few minutes, many old sneakers and socks later he pulled out a spy-glass. It was old and dusty and his dad would freak if he knew he had his glass.

But it was four past midnight so his dad was snoring a floor down. He turned his light off and sat back on the seat. After whipping the glass clean he looked throw it. He couldn't see Lizz anywhere but _did_ saw her uncle. He sat behind the dinner table with a glass and a bottle of some liquor in reach. The strange thing was he still wore his sunglasses. Julio's eyebrow went up. 'What kind of sensible man wears sunglasses after midnight?'

He watched as the man drunk some of the fluid and started to talk. First it where just a few words and a long pauses. After a few minutes the conversation started to be more intense.

'Who is he talking to?' Julio wondered and couldn't get his eyes off of the strange man. He saw the man lit a cigarette and lean his head back, blowing out small circles of smoke. Everything seemed to ease then and after he lit up another Julio felt that he had seen enough.

But before he could put the spy-glass down he saw the man slam his fist into the wood of the table, scream back at someone and grab the bottle. When the glass splintered into the wall a light in another part of the house went on.

"O, no…" He whispered panicked as he saw Lizz walked throw the hall in her PJ's and her hair in a ponytail planted in the middle of her head. For a moment he couldn't see her because there wasn't enough window to provide him from a good view. All he could see was Sands stop screaming and sit back on the chair after pulling it up.

Lizz walked by the window and witched on another light. He couldn't see her face clear but she looked tensed. She crossed her arms and sat down at the chair versus Sands. She said something and he ignored her. She said something again and he slammed on the table. She noticed how close he was and shoved a bit backwards. Then she started talking again. This time he just shrugged and started to feel in his pocket. She ripped the package of cigarettes out of his hand when he finally found it.

Not much more then a second he stared at her in shock, lips parted. He started to yell and gestured to the cigarettes. She didn't gave in and slid the carton between the elastic band of her PJ.

She let him be when he started to point at her and yell some more. She answered his wild motions with a simple gesture using her middle finger and walked away.

Somehow he didn't seem that offended by her 'fuck you' and he abated a bit. He muttered something and kicked against the chair she just have been sitting. Then his head snapped towards the open door and he shoot forward. After a struggle Julio saw him pull Lizz back in at her hairs. He held something in his other hand, a mobile phone if he could see correct.

And that was the last Julio saw before he dropped the spy-glass and jumped into his jeans.

.-.-.

He run across the dusty road and almost got hit by a passing car. With the blood rush throw his ears he run up the stairs. He sprinted to her front door and razed his fist to slam on the wood.

'Wait! What if he hears me and pulls out a gun again?!' He lowered his fist and stared to look around feeling his heart beat like a drum. His eyes stopped at the edge of the next floor. Quickly he spun around and climbed on the fence. While he tried to keep his balance he stood up and jumped to the edge of the next floor. When he felt he had enough grip he started to move to the right. Before he knew it he hung ten feet above the ground with only a small edge of concrete to hold on to.

But he didn't look down and focused on finding the right window.

He carefully set his foot down on the window frame of Lizz's her room. To his misfortune her window was closed. Not feeling much for crashing down and breaking at least both his legs he draw out his knee and kicked in the window. Non of the people inside seemed to hear it, they where to busy screaming at each other.

After a magnificent swung he slid throw the window, taking sharps splinter of glass with him, and ended on her carpet. Amazed by his own strength and athletic ability he got a bit to convinced of himself and slammed his head into the window-seat when he sat up.

'AUW!' His vision was blurry and his head spinning of dizziness. With a thumping head he shove away from the hurtful window and cut his hand on the way.

Non of the people in the living room seemed to have heard there new guest arrive throw the window. With the new argument some language appeared.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!" The loco raged.

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW! AND DON'T SCREAM AT ME!" A not so shy and friendly Lizz responded back.

"BECAUSE IT'S YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE, LIZZ!" A small piece of electronic got tossed throw the room. "It's _your _phone, you've been calling to someone! And I wanna know to who!"

"I'm not going to say _anything_ to you before you calm down and _take_ you pills!" She snapped a bit motherly.

"Or _WHAT _you'll ground me?" He hissed with a hint of mockery. "You'll send me to my room and lock me up until I squirm against the walls and mumble _please don't beat me_?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!?"

She sighted deep and hurt. "Why can't you just take your pills. They don't hurt you, don't kill you. Just take them before you really lose it."

There was a very long pause. "Your not my shrink, you don't decide anything for me. And your lying to me Lizz. And you have five seconds to admit it and tell me who you are talking to at night."

"After I tell you will you take your pills?"

"I've started counting Lizz, now you have only three."

"But-"

"Two…"

"Okay! I've been calling to Julio alright! Because of _you _I can't see him that often and there is no way he can come around while you are marching throw the house like a guard dog. So I bought a phone from my _own_ money so I can call him. And _YES_ in the middle of the night because I'd assumed that's the only time your not spying on me!"

"Well better luck next time then."

"Whatever, now take your pills before I have to ground you."

"I can't, I've destroyed them."

"You did _what_?!"

"Fine, I didn't destroyed them. I've _flushed_ them. But no teary eyes, they've gone to a better place. Far, far away from here."

"No jokes Sands, what did you do-… You really flushed them, didn't you… Wait don't even answer. Just give me one _good _reason why you flushed your meds throw the toilet."

"Tsk. Don't think so low 'bout me. It was the sink. And I felt like it."

"Let me get this clear… You felt like getting rid of all the pills that keep you from hearing voices?"

"It's a urge, I can tell you that. You try swallowing lucid three or four times a day with tequila and some cheep wine."

"No-one is forcing you to drown your meds with liquor."

"Touché. But that ain't the point right now, is it?"

"No it's not. Are you feeling… well you know bad and stuff?"

"No I'm fine. I can dig it. I told you I could."

"Sure, that's why you smashed you glass into one of my favourite paintings. Still, thank you very much for that."

Julio sat close behind her bed the urge of storming the room has gone. Why couldn't it be a 'normal' fight where he could step in and save her, be the white knight in shiny armour. This sounded so bizarre, it didn't make any sense. He even started to doubt if he wasn't on drugs himself.

"You know what, I'll get your pills first thing tomorrow morning. It's about three in the morning, so that's about eight hour until the pharmacy opens. You just go to bed and give me your gun. Your not going out of my sight without giving me that thing. I still don't get why you wanted that thing back anyway. But that's not of my business. Just try to get some sleep and start drinking water instead of tequila. No alcohol. Water."

The loco growled but seemed to agree. Julio crawled to the door and looked throw a chink into the hallway. He saw her take his gun and switch it to safety.

He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. Was that really Lizz? The shy girl, the innocent girl he went out with? He swallowed and closed the door. 'This is just to weird.' Quickly he made his way to the window and left the apartment.

.-.-.

It was a bit noisy in his head. You could compare it to the buzzing of bees. He hadn't slept for a moment that night, not that he could remember. All he could remember was darkness and cold. Somehow it was always cold when he didn't take his meds. Or when he took them with to much alcohol. At least he would be hallucinating afterwards. That was good, that meant he would see and even feel colours. He didn't remember colours all that good and even forgot a few. But he didn't need to remember or describe them when he was in that strange lucid state. He could lay down for hours just being able to feel and see something different then the black and cold. It made him forget time, the endless time he had to waste before he would die.

He started to feel better, less noises and less cold. Things and thought started to sink in, back to his normal bearing and feelings. Whatever his 'normal' was.

'I'm not going to flush those things again.' He took as mental note. He sat up and yawned. He'd been laying down long enough and he needed to get up. To find some purpose for today.

'So what will it be, listen to the telly or drink.' He thought with pity. The girl had suggested to learn some Braille so he could read books. He told her calmly to go fuck herself and mind her own business. But now that he had so much (make that to much) free time and that possibility started to linger. At least he had something to do.

It bugged him how much she was right the last few months. He _should_ get out of the house. It drove him mad to be trapped between the walls. Sure, it was all pretty sweet and luxury, but being trapped in a golden cage made him as pathetic as being locked up in a mental institution.

'No way someone get's me into another nuthouse.'

He made his way into the living room what was in the same room as the dinner and kitchen. The girl had thought about that, now he wouldn't have to change of walking into two walls when he wanted to get from his room into the kitchen.

She only forgot the mess he could trip over, or all her fabulous junk she bought on the markets. 'But let's not crush her dreams, even how much I'm sure that cabin she bought is not even seventy years close to antique.'

In the kitchen he felt around to find the coffee machine, exigently whipped a cup in the process and quickly shove the broken pieces under the kitchen-cupboard. 'Stupid kid why didn't she do the dishes before she went for my pills…'

He pressed on the biggest button of the coffee machine and the thing started to make gargling noises. 'Where did she go anyway?' The last time he'd see- she was home, was hours ago.

'Well she'll be back. She has to because she has no choice.'

It stayed pleasantly silent in his head. He liked that, being alone had his good sides. Also had bad sides. Sometimes it was easier to just do what he'd been told then to think on his own.

'Yeah, it's easier to kill if your not the one wanting it. It easier to kill a woman when you have no clue who she is.'

He took the cup of hot steamy coffee and started to go throw the closets for the sugar. No milk, the first rule. Why should you want to thin caffeine and why should you want to drink coffee in the first place if you didn't like bitterness.

And drinking black came along with his style. And it had something to do with security because this was one of the only things he was sure about that it was black. The rest of his clothing had to rely on the fairness of the girl.

'Could be wearing pink for all I know. Wouldn't be the first time she screws me over like that.'

He found the sugar, it was in the only plastic jar so he could find it easy and would have to try every one of the jars. She'd came up with the idea when he'd throw half of the jars away after being pissed.

You could get very far with her if you where pissed. But not as far as in the early days. Sometimes that annoyed them, sometimes he found it a nice challenges. Something to pass time in a fun way. At least for him.

He pore sugar in his cup and grabbed a spoon from the sink. Then he walked to the kitchen table and sat down after whipping away the last few pieces of glass. He didn't remember all that much, could remember every detail of what had been playing in his head but what she'd been saying, that was all a bit blank. It was hard to reach someone else if he was hearing the voice. Now that he was blind it was close to impossible because he wasn't able to see the person talking to him. He had to rely on his ears and it was hard to hear someone talking to you when something else was yelling in your head.

Sipping his coffee he picked up a sound close to hysteric. When he started to realise it was something he heard outside of his own mind it was to late.

The door got smashed open and Lizz came running in crying her eyes out. "H-He… H-he…"

He putted on his I-told-you-so-smile behind his cup. "Did the little Latino do something nasty to you?" 'I damn well hope so.'

She started to cry harder. "HE DUMPED ME!" After a few sob's she continued. "H-HE JUST DUMPED ME FOR NO REASONE! THE LOSER DUMPED _ME!_ For nothing, he didn't even give me that 'it's not you, it's me' kind of crap!" A whimper left her throat. "I'm in my room and I'm _never _coming out!"

Before he could even make the slightest remark her door got slammed shut. Slowly he putted his cup aside and smile well-pleased.

'Sometimes problems work themselves out.'

**Sometimes you're a real ass Sands. Sorry for the bad title, I couldn't come up with anything else. Anyway if you think everything is swell and fine, your very wrong. I'm planning to make this a very long story. I've got plans for Sands and Lizz and even for Julio. **

**So hear from ya next time,**

**X Nuky and leave a review. **


	9. I am loco

**So here is the next chapter, sorry it took me a while, I was busy with schoolwork and I'm writing 4 things at the time. O and I kinda forgot how it was to sleep. But that's okay, sleep is for losers anyway**

**O, and the title is from a song. My new found band, Ill Niño. I found the title very suitable for this chapter and for Sands. Google it, the music is amazing. **

**And still warning for bad grammar, if it bugs you to much you should offer being my beta, Ill send you mail-flowers every day. **

**Chapter 9) I am Loco**

The first two days had been fine. He ignored her, she ignored him because she was to busy sobbing about little kid nino.

But the third day it started to nag, whine and annoy in his head. She hadn't been out of her room. She hadn't been spoiling his fun. She hadn't be doing a damn thing except feeling sorry for herself. He didn't get it, how hard was it to get over someone? How fucking hard could it be to live without some retard Latino?! That kid got nothing, no use. So what was wrong with her.

He sighted and pressed out his last _Black Devil _on the dinner table. He almost missed the screeching of her voices and his excuse to start an argument.

Not very enthusiastic he stood up and staggered to her room. 'Better get this over with.' He knocked on the door and hung his head. 'This is going to be _hell_.' He didn't receive a answer so let himself in.

"GO AWAY!" Was the first thing he got thrown at his head. At least better then something pointy. 'Chris, she still ain't out of her bed?' This was going to be harder then he thought.

"Leave me alone!" She sobbed. "I wanna be alone and just die!" another rain of tears.

He sighted and even he'd been without for about a year he wish to roll his eyes. 'Don't be such of a drama queen. You act like the whole world is dead."

"I wish it was! My life is OVER! OVER! He's gone, he dumped me like I was nothing!" She whined and he felt the urge of shaking some sense back into her. But he didn't and carefully walked further into the room. She was quiet and watching him, he could feel her gaze running over him. He sat down on the edge of her bed and wondered what he was going to say next.

"I don't even know why he dumped me." She whispered offended. "He just said he chanced his mind, that's all he said!"

He rose his eyebrow. "Well what did you except, he would marry you?" He clacked his tongue. "He is a guy, guys think with there dick and-" 'Okay let's not get there, before she wants to hear me out 'bout the flowers and the bees.'

"Why can't you just leave me alone. Why do you always have to give me that extra kick afterwards." Her voices didn't sound angry or pissed, but sad and hurt. "Please, just leave me alone."

And that's how he got kicked out of her room. No threats no yells, no game. He even walked out in free will. But he felt like kicked between the legs.

Going through his jacket he wished to smoke away the urge to destroy something. But he really was out of cigarettes. It pained him. He wanted to crush something but didn't. That pained him even more. And the reason why he didn't break something was a aching gap. Because that would upset her even more.

He sighted and promised himself he would hate himself later when he walked to the closet. He opened the doors and tossed most stuff aside.

A memory from not so long ago hit him in the stomach. It was one of the first things he'd remember very clear after leaving the Centre. She _bought _him something. His fingers brushed over a iron object and he growled. She bought him a fucking stick. The memory alone made him want to hurl and commit suicide. A stick. Like he was a fucking K-9!

But right now he had to be tough and crush his last bit of pure self-respect. It hurt, it pained and stung but he yanked the iron stick throw a layer of cleaning material and growled. 'This is going to be hell.'

.-.-.

Julio stared into the comic book laying on the counter but wasn't really paying much attention. His mind was focussing on a whole other thing. He sighted and turned the page. It was around eight and in about five minutes he would close the shop. Thank god, because it had been a quiet day which didn't give him anything else to think about.

Lizz, that strange girl. Shy and girlish on one side, a side he liked. But the other side of her, he wasn't even sure what to think about that. She knew how to handle a gun, how to handle that _loco_. That had to say something about your character, right?

And he didn't want to bring his family into trouble, after his dad had a nervous breakdown because the shop was robbed it took them a long way to rebuild there lives. The almost went bankrupt and he had to quit school to take care of his brothers and sisters so his mom could run the shop. He didn't bothered about losing his chance of graduate if he was old enough he would take over the shop and made the best out of it.

That was life and he had worked it all out.

The bell rang and quickly he grabbed the book and kneeled down to hide it, his mom would freak if she found out he was reading 'garage' around costumers.

When he stepped back up he let out a yelp and winched back.

"Don't even think about it chickenshit." The loco snapped, pulling the safety of his gun. Then he smiled. "Your coming with me, we have a lot to talk about…"

Before he knew it he got yanked over the counter and dragged forward, a cold gun pressed against his temple.

.-.-.

He felt very pleased about himself. He amazingly remember the girls directions to the shop and even made it. He hadn't walked into anything else then a traffic sign, but didn't break his nose or anything.

_And _he hadn't freaked out. 'Guess those pills are working.' He was grinning and felt like humming a tune but had to stay focussed. And it didn't suit well with his hostage-look. So he pressed the gun a bit deeper into the skin of the pleading boy to urge him to walk faster.

"I'm sorry if I did something that may have cost this, señor!" The boy pleaded. "I'm so sorry, please let me go."

"Na, don't feel like it kid." He answered and took a turn to the right. "Keep walking."

"Please let me go, I won't tell anyone, I swear!" The boy continued with a trembling voices.

"Who says your going to tell at all, Julio wasn't it?" He gave him a cold grin. "For the record I don't do hostage that much because somehow I always seem to leave it all messy." He had to hold back a chuckle after hearing a soft whimper coming from the teenager. 'What a wuss. But let's leave him breathing, for the moment.'

.-.-.

He was sure he would have whipped his paints weren't it he suddenly saw where the loco was taking him. Her apartment, her house. He almost took a sight of relieve when he realised she wasn't going to be happy about seeing him. He had been very vague about the whole reason of dumping her.

"You know your a very lucky boy, Cupid." The loco told him while the walked up the stairs.

Julio took a long look at the gun pressing into his head. "Will you shoot me if I don't agree."

"Probably." He got for a answer and he got yanked onto the hallway. "But you are lucky kid, somehow she likes you. So that means I can't kill you. As much as I would like to pull the trigger because you make her cry unstoppable. And I don't dig that because I'm the bastard that needs to hear it all day. So your going to make that stop or you family has to live life one son less, savvy?"

Before he could react on that the loco kicked her front door open and throw him in. "Honey, I'm home."

Julio landed with his face on the floor, chin hitting first. He moaned and tasted blood, his lip started to bleed. The man behind him switched the light on and when he looked up he saw Lizz sitting next to the phone. Her eyes where huge and she was to shocked to say anything or move.

She didn't seem as much of a help but she was the only thing he got.

"He wants to kill me!" He whispered and felt tears burn in his eyes. "I don't wanna die!" A sob escaped his mouth, as some of the blood that tripped on her floor. "Please."

The loco sighted annoyed and stepped over him after closing the door. "Damn Lizz, you really go for the pathetic cry-babies." Shaking his head he kneeled in front of him. "Tks, kid I thought you had a bit more balls."

"O…my…god." Finally Lizz seemed to be master of her shock. "Please tell me you didn't… didn't… O… my…god!" She jumped of her chair and grabbed the loco's by his collar and dragged him up his feet. Julio tried to raze his head but didn't get further then seeing there bodies move.

"Of all the things you managed to do this is the WORST!" She let out a scream. "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO HIM! TO ME!" He saw her made furious gestures and he just stood there with his hands in his pocket, his gun safely between his belt.

"Don't make a fuss like this, Lizzy. You wanted to know why this pathetic boy-toy left you and I brought him here. So don't go pissing off me just because you can't make up your mind."

"Doesn't anything ever make sense to you!" She yelled. "Now he have to move away! FINALY I found some place safe and you screw it all up!"

"Safe? Fucking boring you should-"

"- O so just because your bored you press a gun against someone's head and you throw him in?!" She grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of sight. "You go to you room, I don't want to see you! Get the hell out of my sight!"

After a few moments she came back running into the room, holding his gun. Julio's eyes shot open and he pushed himself up his knees and winched back against the closed door. She tensed and quickly pushed the gun behind her back, between her jeans. She kneeled down and cried.

"I'm so sorry he did this to you. I'm sorry, this was not suppose to happen!" Her lips trembled with every word. "You were not suppose to get in the middle of this, normally he- This is not him talking. Or maybe it is, I don't know anymore." She buried her face in her hands. "I just don't know it anymore."

Somehow he felt very bad for her. She'd somehow was responsible for his kidnapping and near death experience, but she seemed so venerable.

"It's ok." He whispered and sat up stroking of the blood of his lip.

She slowly shook her head. "No, it's not. He is losing it. I can't handle him anymore. He doesn't listen and does crazy things when I'm not around. And that gun… he always finds it. Even with the new pills. O god, Julio I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you ever met me." She looked at him. "But I'll be gone soon enough and so will he."

Julio rose a eyebrow. She seemed so depressed and hurt. "What d-do you mean by that?"

She sighted. "I called someone today when I realised he went out. If I'd knew he was going to meet up with you I would have stopped him… But I figured he was going for cigarettes or tequila. He knows where the money is and I just thought he was annoyed because I hadn't make time to shop."

"You called someone?" He looked at the phone. "To who?"

"Someone who'd worked with him before. Well _at _him. But it didn't do him any good. Back then, because he had to much guild lingering. But now, I think it might be best if…" She started to cry again. "I feel so messed up. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to l-leave him. He's all I got, everything I have. The money the house that's nothing. O god I hope she hurries up because I'm starting to doubt." She hiccupped. "I just want everything to go good for once."

Someone appeared in the doorway. "Who's coming?!"

She yelled and jumped up. "No-one! No-one is coming!"

"LAIR!" In three steps he was right in front of her it was visibly clear he tried his best not to tear her head off. His whole body was tense and both his hands where turned into a fist. "Who's coming?! Who the fuck did you send! It's him isn't it!" He pushed her aside and snatched Julio back on his feet only using one arm. For a slim and not so large man Julio found him surprisingly strong.

"You sick son of a bitch!" The loco spat in his face. "It's _you_ everything went wrong since she met _you_! He was right, it's YOU!" With every _you _he slammed Julio into the wall.

"Stop it! Leave him alone!" Lizz cried. "He has nothing to do with it!" She pulled on his wrist to make him let go and yelped when he gave her a hard push. She landed on the floor and the loco let him go.

"Then _who _is it Lizz…" He stepped towards her, looking down on her. "Who is it." For a moment he waited. "WELL TELL ME!"

She crawled up slowly never looking away from him. She stood right in front of him, less then a feet away and Julio knew he could grab her and do something horrible to her. She seemed not aware of that and just looked at him.

She did something unexpected, she reached out for his hand and started to talk. Clear, not scared or furious.

"It's that therapist who worked with you when you where back there. She came in contact with me and she wants to help. She's going to help."

He gasped and his bearing changed from defensive to hurt for just a brief second. Then he yanked his arm back. "Your fucking out of your mind!" He hissed with a low voice that trembled from rage. "I don't know what you made up in you twisted little mind, but that bitch is not coming in. I'm _not _going _back _there! Give me the gun!"

"No!" She shook her head.

"Don't you get it Lizz?!" He started to laugh. "She plays with your mind. We… I don't need her help. I don't need some shrink to talk to me! I'm not crazy and last time I trusted some bitch this happened." He tapped against his glasses. "I'm not crazy, I'm NOT CRAZY! Give me my gun."

She stepped back. "No."

"Then have it your way." He duck forward and grabbed her around the neck, run forward and yanked her on the table. "Give me _my _gun!"

She gagged, squirmed and dragged the gun from between her jeans.

The loco froze when he felt the gun pressing against his forehead.

"Let go of me." She painted. He did slowly and stepped back. She sat up at the same moment, keeping the gun against his head.

He chuckled, somehow seeing some sort of joke in it all. "Your going to shoot me? Kid, we both know you don't have the balls for that."

That thought popped up in her head, the truth seemed painful for her. Julio didn't got that, he tried to choke her less then a second ago. Why couldn't she pull the trigger and safe the world from that psychopath.

When her hand starting to shake the loco took his chance and his hand shot to the gun. But Lizz was faster pulled the gun back and kicked him in the stomach. The loco had to take a few steps back and hunched over, holding his stomach.

At that moment the doorbell rang. Lizz looked up at Julio. "Open the door!" Julio nodded and sprinted to the front door.

Sands heard the boy run to the door and all the sudden he didn't feel the pain in his stomach. He looked up at the place he knew Lizz was standing. "Don't do this to me Lizz, don't fucking do this to me. C'mon you know me."

"That's the problem Sands." She whispered. "I tried to tell myself it's all not that bad. But it is Sands. It's not that your bad or evil. Your not, but that thing in you is. When that's talking to you your unstoppable. And I'm afraid you will kill me, I can't stop you. She's right and I read some things you've done before all of this."

"Bullshit. I'm fine just a bit bored. But I'll get over that." He promised. "I'll learn Braille, I've got all the time. I don't need to… to go."

She didn't respond on him. The door got opened and he lost it. He did, he lost it. It was rage but mostly fear. He had to defend himself and someone was going to get hurt. He raged forward, he would not be the weak one. He was not going to be the little chickenshit.

She run after him and jumped between him and the door. "Don't do this, please don't do this!"

He didn't answer her and tossed her aside. He hear her bump into something and fall down. He reached out to the first that came next from the door and yanked someone in. Then there was a painful sting in his arm and strength left his body. His knees buckled and he fell on the floor, the back of his head hitting the wood.

"I see I can just in time." He heard a familiar voice said with a bit of a accent.

**Long chapter and it took me some time to think of what I wanted go doing between Julio, Sands and Lizz. First I wanted her to be tough, but she's been tough enough. Let's show her more girlish side**

**And Julio, poor boy really gets in the middle of a hell lot of crap. **

**And my favourite anti-hero ain't feeling so swell himself. But I needed to do that, let's give him some little more shock. Let's see how he's going to slither his ass out of this one.**

**See you next chapter and review ya'll god damn it. Because more then twenty people read this story and only a few are that human to review. **

**X Nuky**


	10. Shut up and drive

**Longest chapter since, took me some time to write but it's very healthy for my NaNo. Jup, I signed up for it **_**again**_**. And this time I'm going to make it! I'm up to 30KB. (Throws party) **

**Anyway, that's not very interesting for ya'll. But I wanted to share this wonderful moment with you. Aren't I an attention-sucker? **

**Right… Let's get to the point. It appears some people don't take the time to review any of my chapters. Yeah, all the hits are high, all the reviews… LOW. I don't dig that, as I said I need attention, so can I have it for a sec please? I adore reviews they keep me write so if you read please do give me some feedback, no flames, FEEDBACK!**

**Chapter 10) Shut up and drive. **

"And he always smokes _Black Devils_. And he doesn't like it if you play music to loud. It makes him unable to know what is going on. He once told me that, with a lot of yelling. If he wants his glasses just give it to him, even when it's night. He just needs them. But never give him a gun when he asks about it in a very calm way. That's when it's close. And he doesn't like it when you start about it hair. Is he still asleep? He's going to be alright isn't?"

Julio watched Lizz stumble over her words, trying no to cry. He'd grabbed her hand and she was squeezing it while she kept staring at the loco that lay on the floor still unconscious.

"He will be in a couple of day's, Lizz." The woman told he let in. When he'd opened the door he freaked when he saw a pretty small lady stand on the doorway. She was about Lizz her height, but wore high heels and she did seem like a pushover. She looked a bit like a teacher he had on school, a frisky and chaotic woman with untameable hair in a knot. She wore small glasses what seemed to make her a good few years older. As in making her look like a librarian.

But as soon as the skinny woman had knocked up the loco with a sedative he saw her like a superhero.

Lizz made a dreadful sound and nodded.

The woman smiled a bit comforting and turned to him. "You must be Julio."

He nodded slowly and stared at the woman.

"Wonderful, I'm Djessy. I'm going to take care of things." She explained. "Things like this will not happen again, so I think it's for the best if you will not inform your family. Don't you agree?"

He nodded again still a bit blown by everything.

"C-can I come?" Lizz whispered half in tears. "I don't want to leave him alone like this. I can't say bye if he is like this. I still can come around right? Your not going to take him all away, right?"

Djessy stepped up at her and gave her a motherly smile. "No we won't, Lizz. He's going back to the Centre and were going to make sure something like today will never happen ever again. I don't think we can cure him, but we will make him better. And I must say Lizz, you did a great job on him. I'm amazed by your power." She looked at the motionless body on the floor.

"But I don't think it's wise if you come with us right away. I think he is going to be very mad in the next couple of days. He could say terrible things to you and I think you have enough of that." She placed her arm on Lizz her shoulder. "He's not the only one that needs to recover, you're fragile yourself. Don't let him smash the rest of your self-esteem, Lizz."

"Guess your right." Lizz muttered blunt.

Julio didn't get everything that was going on but knew better then to ask questions. Sometimes it was better to wait for another day.

The body on the floor moved and reached for his glasses. "What the…" He tensed and made a attempt to get up.

Djessy nearly jumped and reached for her phone. Lizz frowned.

"You said you would come alone."

Djessy shrugged and started to dial. "There are some agents coming, I can't get him in the car myself now can't I?"

Lizz let Julio hands go. "What is this suppose to mean?! We had a deal, you where suppose to come on your own!"

"Honey, don't take it so hard. I just need some man to bring him down." Djessy hushed her.

"Don't _honey_ me!" Lizz snapped razing her voice. "Your not my mom and what is going on?!"

"Don't trust that bitch Lizz, she's playing with your mind. She's good at that." The loco growled and made it to his knees.

"Yes, hurry!" Djessy snapped on the phone and reached for another sedative in her pocket.

"Julio close the door." Lizz said cold. When he didn't react immediately she snapped. "NOW!"

"Don't." Djessy told him. "This is a warning, your playing with the rules of the government."

"Since when is a mental institution part of an organisation like that?" Lizz answered, folding her arms not seeming to be intimidated by Djessy's warning. "Who are you really?"

The woman facing her smiled slightly. "My names is Djessy Dominguez I work in _El Centro psíquico, 'La Esencia_. And since a few months part-time for the CIA."

Lizz shot forward and weren't it for Julio who dragged her back Djessy would have earned a nasty scratch on her face. Probably several.

"O, let her go. She won't be a treat anyway." Djessy told taking a handgun out of her other pocket. Julio wondered what other things the woman was carrying around. "And you, I see you can get up your feet." She turned to the loco and pulled out another card, well a set of handcuffs.

She looked from Julio to Lizz and nodded to the girl. "You put the cloves on and don't try anything, if you want him to keep breathing."

If looks could kill Djessy would have been buried by now. Lizz stepped slowly forward and took the cuffs.

"Guess this is _time _to say goodbye then, Lizzy-O." Sands said emotionless.

"I guess it is_ time_." She answered and clicked the first cuff around his wrist. "Time flies by, on big _spin_." She clicked the other and turned around to Djessy. "Bye, Bye _pistolero_."

In a flash she duck down and dived forward grabbing Djessy's legs in the process. Both of them fell on the ground, hands snatching for the gun and a few screams and shouts came from both sides. Djessy managed to slap Lizz of and grabbed the gun.

"HAH!" With both hands she held the gun.

But to her surprise Lizz was smiling viciousness. "I wouldn't do that if I where you. Sands…"

A safety switched off and the loco grinned, the barrel of his gun aiming at Djessy's head.

The shrink's eyes grew large. "What? How…?!"

"First of all, you shouldn't understated your enemy. Just because I'm just a girl doesn't mean I'm not dangerous. Second, you should always check your hostages for weapons even if they don't seem like much of a treat. I am not, I don't shoot because I'm not very good at it. And I don't kill because I have morals." She smiled sweetly and partly innocent. "But you see, that guy over there, isn't like me. He doesn't believe in morals. And he can shoot ten times better then you and me." She giggled.

"Third thing is, you should always prepare if your going to use a gun Djessy." She made a slow gesture to Djessy's. "You never used a gun before. I can see that, your hands are shaking and you still have the safety on it. You should always make sure that you know what your doing Djessy, always."

Sands stepped into the conversation. "So, can I shoot her now or do I really have to wait?"

Lizz shrugged. "Na, you can use her for target practice."

"Joy." Sands cracked his neck and placed his finger on the trigger. "Guess the badguy has his share of the winning glory after all."

Djessy had been paling during the whole conversation and was as white as a tissue. "NO! NO! Wait! There are agents coming! You can't shoot me now!"

Lizz pushed Sands gun away from a lethal target hit. "She has a point doesn't she?"

Sands relaxed his shoulders. "Guess she has a bit."

Lizz looked back at Djessy. "About how many agents ware we speaking of?"

"F-five, t-ten… I'm not sure anymore."

"Hmm." Lizz took a step forward and slowly took the gun out of Djessy's trembling hands. "Where are the keys?"

"K-keys?"

"From the cuffs! Jeez!" Lizz screeched and shook with the gun.

"Here!" Djessy screamed and dragged them out of her pocket.

"Thanks." Lizz said polite. For the first time in the whole mess she looked up at Julio. Her face was cold, like a mask. Like a person he didn't knew and didn't feel any urge to find out. Then she blinked and a bit of the hardness was out of her eyes.

"Can you please un cuff him." Referring to the loco. "And cuff her. I need to get the bags." She had noticed his total shock and hit the gun behind her back.

"Can you please do this for me? I will explain everything when were sa-. I'll tell you everything. But you really need to do this right now, because some very bad guys are going to be here any minute now. Do you understand?"

He nodded and she pushed the keys in his hand.

.-.-.

'Okay, don't freak out, don't freak out! Don't FREAK Lizz!' When she'd run into her room she'd closet the door and just sank to her knees. 'Don't freak out! Breath.' She took a very deep breath and another and another. 'Get up!' She urged herself and pushed against the door.

So many things run through her head right now. She'd almost give Sands up to that freaking bitch! She'd fall for it all, she'd bluffed her ass off. She was so getting crazy! Flashes of doubt and blame popped up while she duck down her bed.

She had always knew she was not going to be in her house forever. Well, not really her house. It was an apartment she by chance lived in. But not a house or a home. Just a place to lay low.

'Until things like this happen.' She pushed away a whole bunch of clothes and yanked two backpacks from under. 'Always knew something bad would happen, sooner or later.' Quickly she dragged the map from under her mattress and pushed it into one of the bags.

Whole dazed by the thinks she had done she run back into the living where a painful silence cut everything off. In a blink of an eyeless she was back on her toes. She scanned the room. Julio had cuffed Djessy, Sands kept silence waiting for a hint from her. There was no sound coming from outside but that wouldn't be for to long.

"Where are they coming from? Back or front?" She snapped at Djessy.

"I d-do not-"

"Cut out the stumbling over word crap!" She snapped. "Tell me what the hell is going to happen before I let that maniac go psycho on you!"

That seemed to loosen up Djessy's tongue and brain. "Both sides if I'm not outside in two minutes."

'Great.' Lizz close her eyes after hearing that news. 'O, shit, crap… what am I suppose to do… what to do… two minutes!'

She snapped her eyes open. "Julio give me the keys." The boy didn't react so she got them herself. When she un cuffed the right hand of Djessy Sands came into action.

"What are you doing?!"

"Saving our asses. Just trust me."

He gave her a long look. "You? After what you just did to me."

He had a point. "Just do it, you still have a gun." She clicked the cuff around Sands' left wrist. Before he could react she started to talk.

"Alright I have a plan, it isn't much but it's all we've got. Sands your going to walk out with Djessy, of course with a gun pressed in her back. But make sure no-one notices. It has to seem like she got you and not the other way around. Meanwhile me and Julio climb out throw my bedroom." She stopped and looked at Julio. "You still have your car parked up in garage right?" After a soft nod she went on. "We take his car, you make sure you walk slow and give us at least thirty seconds. I dunno what we will be up against, so _make _it thirty seconds. Make a scene or something I don't care. Just give us thirty seconds. Okay that's all I have."

Sands swung Djessy around not so gently. "Then let's do it." He slide his hand under Djessy's white jacket and pressed the gun against her spine. "If I trigger your never going to walk again, let me get that clear, doc." The woman whimpered and got tossed forward.

"See you in thirty-one seconds, kid."

"See you there, _pistolero_." He grinned wickedly after that and mentioned something like 'banmg-bang.' Then he walked out the door.

Again panic started to bite into her throat. "Okay, c'mon let's do this." She pushed one of the backpacks in his arms. He almost dropped it and made a clumsy movement.

She wanted to tell him so many things, excuses explanations, everything. But not now. 'Not right now.' She grabbed his hand and hold it tight. "Let's go!"

She somehow could drag him through the house and into her bedroom. She closed the door and pushed the gun between her jeans. 'Don't freak!'

She leaned over the edge of her window, trying not to cut herself on the glass. She saw three cars being parked on the other side of the road. 'There not in uniform.' She scanned the rest of the street. Nothing more that she could see. They probably thought it was going to be a easy operation. 'Wrong thought losers!'

She turned around to Julio. "Are you alright?"

He looked up from the bag. "Alright?! I just found out what kind of crazy tricks you pull off! Not to mention those things you did with the gun and… your nuts! Your both loco!"

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Believe me I don't like being me." 'Who that sounds very pathetic, Lizz.' "And I'm sorry I got you into this. It was stupid of me to think I could get a relationship going. I mean I'm like the worst girlfriend ever. That's why you broke up with me right? You can say it now, I'll be gone in a few minutes."

"Actually… It was because that loco scarred the shit out of me. And because you did, a little." He scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I pictured a whole other Lizz."

"You mean girlish, shy and randomly rambling. Well that's me most of the time. When I'm not trying to… well do this." She gave him a watery smile. "Let's go before Sands has to improvise. Acting is not his greatest talent."

.-.-.

Somehow his brain kept repeating that whistle from Kill Bill. He tried to show some fear but felt much to… well he basically felt like God. And in a way he was, because he had the power between life and death. And that felt good.

He also got the whole train ride of thoughts and 'what if's', but it seemed to be some kind of adrenaline. For the first time in many weeks, he felt alive. As he'd been knocked sober. Sure, his legs felt asleep and walking cost him more strength then normally. But he felt real as if he mattered again. People had to watch out for him, because he had power. Because he could to _something_.

'Fifteen Mississippi, sixteen Mississippi.' He had to prevent himself from grinning. Christ, how fucking good you could feel by holding someone hostage. There should be a club for that. 'A country club for crazy fuckwits with to much free time. Sure as hell that will beat golf.'

He felt her fear with every step, her body was tense and she had a shallow and speedup breathing. And he loved it. Fucking _loved _it. That was a little bit of payback for all the times she'd made him go through that all. He'd been so death frightened every time she'd stepped into the room. For her drugs, her words for everything.

"How do you like your patient now, doc?" He whispered in her ear and dug the barrel just a bit harder.

'Nineteen Mississippi, twenty Mississippi…'

.-.-.

Julio opened the garage door. It was near dawn and his dad could be here any minute. His heart beat in his throat and he could feel the blood rush through his ears.

'What am I doing?!' He was getting his truck, while he should be calling the police! He had to do something, anything!

"Keys!" Lizz yelled at him from his truck and tossed in a few jets of kerosene. He had trouble with reacting and she snatched it out of his hands. "C'mon let's go. You need to drive while I'm working in the back. She pushed him towards his truck and rushed to the backseat.

In some kind of trance he started his car and hit the gas.

.-.-.

Her whole life she'd hated fire. It was some kind of fear after she'd set the Christmas tree on fire. Fire was bad, it hurt and it made scars. To bad for her today was the day to face her fear. While Julio drove the truck out of the garage she was toying with matches and ducktape. She stuck the tape on the jets and patted a few matches on it as well. Then she opened the gas and waited till they reached the cars.

.-.-.

He felt the ground shake and a storm of heat rushed all around him. It was the same kind of glow as with a explosion. He was surprised. 'Twenty-seven Mississippi's and she blew them up before I reached the road.' Applause-worthy, he had no idea how or that she did to fix that problem.

But it only made him feel better. "Guess this has to suck for you doc." She didn't answer, didn't want to or was to shocked.

He heard a heavy car stop in front of them and eased his aim when he heard the girly yell.

"Get in the car! I think more of them are coming!" She grabbed the cuffs and pulled him and the doc towards the car.

Before he got in he hold up his gun. "Nice hearing your lovely tune girly."

"Nice of you to drop some sarcasm on the wrong time and place." She replied and pulled him in. He grinned. O yeah, he was loving this…

Before he could park his ass in next to the drivers seat she pulled him into the back of the truck.

"I need you here, in case those nut jobs will pull of something." She told and un cuffed his hand.

" And what about her-"

He heard a click. "Don't worry about her, she is not going anywhere. I'll be in the front, getting Julio through the drive. I'll tell you when to shoot." He got a new cargo of bullets pushed in his hands.

"You know one of the nicest things of you is that you think ahead." He said and pushed the bullets in his pocket.

"With you around I have to. The window in the back is open. Doors are stealed, but I think there bullets can come through, so watch out."

"Touché and thanks for the tip." He stumbled through the back of the car and shuffled on the right side of the window. He heard Lizz yell some orders, the car started to drive, he had to hold on to a handle and he could hear the doc whimper.

The smell of dust, the sun burning on his face and the layer of stress. His lips quirked in a smile. "I'm livin' la vida loca."

.-.-.

She snapped at Julio when to take a turn and urged him to speed up. He mumbled something about speed limits and she wondered how clearly he didn't got it. A speed ticket was the_ last_ thing they should worry about. She just _screwed_ the CIA over. Sands had told her some stories about his former organisation. No nice things at all. If they wanted you they would get you. No doubt about that.

"Next turn left, we need to get out of the city." She ordered Julio. If it wasn't for the wheel his hands would be shaking. She bit her lip and felt a world of guild build create in her. 'later, first get away.' She turned to Djessy.

"How many agents are set for this assignment?"

The shrink opened her mouth and started to count on her fingers. "I… I think about thirteen."

Lizz's stomach turned. 'So thirteen Sandses are chasing us. That's it where going to _die_…'

"Lizz, do you have any idea if there are some targets coming?" A voice yelled from the back a bit like a spoiled brat.

She looked throw the mirror and to her relieve the whole road was clear. No sign of some drilled agents in speeded cars, or helicopters with laser beams. 'Would they have that at the CIA?' She wondered.

She shook her head and gave the map another look. It was not a smart idea to go through the desert, that was way to open. The wasteland was not a good place if you needed to hid.

'The city then?' No, not a good plan either. They would not be able to blend in with the locals. She was blond, Sands was insane and the truck was an easy eye catcher. 'Then what?'

Her eyes scanned the map. 'Wait, if we go along the main road we'll drive along a small town.' And if she was a bit right about Mexico she knew she would be able to get rid of the truck for a nice night in a cheap motel. No questions, just greedy owners. And if she paid extra they would keep there mouth shut and before the price was high enough to talk, they would be gone.

She looked firmly on the map and nodded, partly to herself. "Follow the next sign into you see a small town, that could take about half a day. Keep the speed up, don't stop for anything. If you see something suspicious give a yelp."

"W-what are you going to do?" He stuttered when she stood up.

"Need to talk to mister Chaos." She answered back and scooped over Djessy, trying to avoid any contact. She didn't want to go near that woman and touching her made her want to puke.

When she sat next to Sands she just stared at his face.

"Your absolutely loving this, aren't you?"

He shuffled his gun and tapped with the butt against his head.

"You have no idea girly, you have no _idea_!"

**You didn't honestly thought I would put Sands back in a nuthouse. No, that wouldn't be any fun at all. He needs the action and so do I. Even if it's hard to write because English can be a bitch to me. But it sounds **_**so much **_**better then Dutch. A Dutch Sands is wanting to tear your ears off, I swear. (I tried, did **_**not **_**work out.) **

**So, there back again. Back on the road, going nowhere but out of the claws of there enemy. And this time it's going to be twice as hard. Because this time it's not some cruel villain. No, it's the CIA. And you should never mess with those guys. **

**O, how I'm going to love writing this. O, how bad will I screw up there lives this time. I love to put people together that hate each other and make them work together. **

**So next few chapter lots of nervous breakdowns, threats and moments you just want to scream **_**SHUT UP!**_

**See ya next time and review if you love to live.**

**X Nuky**


	11. The getaway plan

**Okay, a long chapter with lots a ****POV changes. I hope you can keep up and I'm pretty sure your going to like what your about to read. I put almost all the characters in another perspective, give them a reason why they do what they do. **

**O and thanks to the ten people who've read and didn't bother to send something back, like a very trigger happy agent would say: Screw you! He said it, I didn't. **

**Chapter 11) The getaway plan. **

Her head was thumping on one side. The side her ex patient had slammed the butt of his gun against. And now that she came back from her unconsciousness that pain started to arch and she could feel some caked blood sticking her hair into a bigger mess than it already was.

She blinked her eyes, her head was trying to find the balance back and when she wanted to feel how bad the wound was on her head she realised she could. Her bands where cuffed behind her back around on of the tree wooden poles of a chair.

Suddenly she saw a figure standing against the door, casual leaning against the wood, smoking a vanilla cig.

"That makes me guess your awake then, doc." Her ex patient puttered, not bothered to take the cigarette from his lips. He walked forward and kneeled, there knees brushing slightly. He inhaled deeply and blew out the smoke right in her face.

It made her eyes sting and water, she coughed and took a breath away from the smoke. When she looked back at him he smirked and took another drag. "Don't worry hon, lung cancer will be your last problem, right now." His smirk got something vicious and this time he did take the cigarette out of his mouth.

"You know, for a person that had enough money to go to a wee bit better University then I did you pretty dumb. Sorry to say that, I really am." His smirk disappeared. "Let's face it Doc, your pain stupid. So fucking stupid…" A quick chuckle, with more threat then amusement in it.

"I mean, I get that you find me interesting who's to blame for that. I'm a good looking guys with these beauties on." He brushed over his reflecting glasses where she could see her own frightening face in.

"Anyway, enough sweet-talk. Let's cut to the chase." He moved a little in discomfort. "Ha." He grabbed a chair from behind her, turn it around and sat down, leaning on the back. "You see, you fucked with me." He took a quick drag of the cigarette and waved it in front of her face as if he tried to hypnotize her. "And I don't like that. I mean I like to fuck let's not get a into a misunderstanding. But you kinda screwed me over _Dr_. Dominquez. And your going to make up for that. Your going to tell me right now _who _is behind all this, _what _they know and about how _many _where talking about. And your going to do that right now, because frankly the kid was right. I don't do morals, I don't give a shit about anything. I just care about pretty sweet me, now isn't that touching?"

"You also care about her." She hissed back trying to keep the last bit of confidence and information about him in mind.

"Hu." He made a _see if I care_ gesture and bow his head, as he did with the cigarette. She cried and winched back spreading her legs just into before he pressed out his cigarette. He throw the butt careless away and crossed his arms, leaning on his wrist.

"So, you want to play this the hard way. Swell, it's been a while but I'm always up for a challenge." He licked his lips. "But because I'm in such a good mood I give you one last chance to come clean. Before I start to torture you."

She whimpered and started to pull on the cuffs. "You wouldn't dare."

"I wouldn't?" In a flash he sat up and draw his fist out, hitting her on the exact same spot she'd been hit before with the gun.

She cried out and let her head snap to the right.

"SANDS!?" The door got tossed open and Lizz came running inside. "What are you doing?! You can't hurt her!"

He swung around on the chair. "And why is that Lizzy?"

"Because she is a woman and you should treat all women with respect!" She lectured him. "Now go bug someone else, leave her alone!"

To her surprise and to her relieve her ex patient sighted and moodily stood up. When he passed her she grabbed his chair and turned it half so she could sit in a normal way.

"I'm sorry he hit you." She said a bit ashamed. "I don't like it when he get's all that violent, even with _you_." The disgust was impossible to miss. She felt a bit awkward being hold hostage and feeling some kind of guild towards the girl.

"But he has a point. You tricked me into doing something very nasty, Djessy. I trusted you and you just… you just-" She tried to suppress some sobs and whipped over her cheeks. "How could you? Did you needed money because I could have helped you with that. I guess you know what I did and know that I had my share in everything."

Djessy took a long moment. "No, I didn't do it for the money. I did it because señor Sands is one of those cases I could not leave alone. I never met anyone like him."

"So what your saying is you got my life, yourself and his in danger just because he fascinates you. If that was it you could just have come and we could have talked face to face. And not like well, you being cuffed and me being stress out and screaming for some coffee."

Djessy felt a bit put off after the girl stopped speaking and giving her nasty looks.

"You know, about some things you where very right Djessy. He is insane. And you pissed him off today, really bad. And if it wasn't for me he would have turned this room into one bloody mess. I don't know if you know movies like _Hostel _or _Saw _but he can _do _those things. I didn't see it because I held my eyes closed but the screams… He can hurt people without making it bleed. And when he makes it bleed…" She bit her lip. "Those screams…"

Djessy gulped and her eyes had grown huge. "But…"

Lizz fidget a bit on the chair. "I don't believe in violence. But if he comes back in things will turn ugly. And I can't stop him because… You know his rage and you said it yourself. If he wants to do something to you nothing can stop him, not even me."

"Can't you use make him-… I have some drug in my pocket."

The girl shook her head. "No, I'm not going to drug him. That's your style, not mine. And in case you forgot, I'm not on your side. To be very clear I'm miles from it. Right now, you're the person on the other side of the line. So unless you start giving me some information, there isn't much that I can do for you." Lizz putted her elbow on her knee and leaned on her palm.

Djessy frowned and bow her head. Fear made it hard to keep breathing. "W-what do you need to know?"

"Names, numbers, places… uhuu, time. Mostly everything you know. And try to remember before he squeezes it out."

Djessy gasped and felt her bottom lip tremble. She was sure she would burst into tears right in front of the girl she'd pictured as a easy target. Then she started to speak.

"They contact me about three months ago and asked if I could remember about _el hombre sin ojos_, with mean-"

"- The eyeless man, yes I got that thank you."

"Right… They asked me if I still was interested in him. I told them I wondered much about what happened and they asked me if I would like to cooperate in one of there assignments. I said yes, not realising what I signed in for. They managed to track him down but didn't want it to turn into a massacre. As I'm sure you read in his file-"

"- I did, go on."

"Yes, well they gave me a new phone and in less of a day you called. I was a bit surprised and also very exited when I heard about _you_. I mean you kept him in a good mental state, with his symptoms-"

"Enough flattering Djessy, you did that enough over the phone."

"Fine, the CIA kept me making small steps on the time. I don't think they had much haste to get him into-" She stopped and watched as Lizz her eyebrow rose.

"Into _what _Djessy?"

She sighted a angry about herself for letting important information slip like that. "There not interested in getting him better. They want to put him away."

"Which means to jail?"

"Yes, they want to lock him up for good. No therapy, no treatment just get him away from the rest of the world."

"And that's everything you know?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Your very sure of that?!"

She turned her hands into fist. "I only know that they want to lock him up because he knows to much about everything _and _that he as some kind of information they need. I don't think they will play very much by the rules-"

She shrugged. "They never do." Then the girl stood up. "Yeah, you can come back in now."

To her horror señor Sands stepped back in the room clacking his tongue.

The girl stood right next to him, her arms crossed.

"You played a nice game of good cop versus bad cop, girly. I would almost suggest to sign in for the CIA, weren't it there the one cheating on us."

"Thanks, it was to easy. She nearly cried." Smiling she looked from Djessy to Sands. "Heard everything you needed?"

"Yeah, sounds very swell and lovely, the same shit they write on Christmas carts."

"Deceive, plot and a happy Christmas, salute from the CIA. I don't think it will be catchy." She replied.

'Whatever, let's leave our hostage for a few moments and let's go to the bar. I need a drink after finding out they don't like me as much as I'd hoped they would."

And with that last comment Djessy got left alone, cuffed and unable to get free.

.-.-.

She was very found of herself. She was impressed of the things she had prevented from happening today. And there was quit a lot of that. For example, when Djessy had got the gun before she had it could have turned bad. With at least someone dead, it would have been her or Djessy, depended on how much luck Djessy had and how fast Sands could have pulled the trigger. Yes, blood could have been shad.

But she bluffed her way out of it. Yes, it had been the first time Djessy hold a gun. But the safety had been off. She could have shot. And she could have died.

The second thing that amazed her was her cool tone. She'd talked without letting out all the stress and fear she'd felt. And she came up with a decent plan.

Other than that, she had been able to lie without blushing, flushing and rambling. She'd played the good cop knowing Sands stood right behind her listening to everything that went on in the room. Not very reassuring, to know mister Chaos was overhearing your act.

"So how did she looked when you told her I was going to get psycho on her?" Sands asked her while she walked with him to the bar.

She smiled reminding Djessy's face in shock and distress. "I think your no longer her number one patient."

"Peachy."

Then she bit her lip. "But I feel kinda bad about it."

Sands gave her a pitiful look. "O please tell God to saint you holey. Christ Lizz you should get your heart ripped out." He grabbed her shoulder to find out where she was and took her chin.

"Listen, that bitch was going to turn me in, make me her guinea-pig." He stood very close looking down on her. "And she used you. She manipulated you. _Don't _forget about that. Just because she isn't a ugly bastard, just because she isn't six foot tall and just because she has that same kind of girlish voice you have…" He paused a moment, his jaws twitched. "It doesn't make her other then the averages fuckwit who wants to get rite of us. Don't forget about that."

She watched herself throw daggers at him via his glasses. She jerked her head back and made some space between the both of them. "Fin, she's bad but we are far from good Sands."

He shrugged. "That's never a problem for me."

'But it is for me.' Lizz thought but didn't say it out loud. "I won't going to like her again _okay_?"

"You better don't because if you double-cross me again I will rip your guts out, I shit you not." He replied and she could feel and see his rage rise back. She knew better then to get in that argument right now.

"Then I'll keep hating her, if that's what you want." She said and took his wrist to continue there walk to the bar. "But I don't want you to hit her. You just don't hit a woman, I think we both agree on that."

He didn't react immediately and seemed to be wander off. "Fine but if you cut out the physical abuse I want credit for the mental torture."

"If you feel like nagging and threaten her till she cries you got my blessing." She said blunt, knowing that if she said 'no' it would only make it a better challenge. "But first, let's make some plans."

"Not without a drink I won't." He grinned when he noticed by the soft music and cigar smoke they had entered the small bar of the motel. There was no-one else there except a waiter who was busy cleaning some glasses. By his cheapish way of looking, Lizz didn't see him as a treat.

"You can get _one _tequila. _One._" She told Sands when he found the chair and sat down.

"O for fucks sake…"

"I'm not kidding you do stupid things all the time and-"

He interrupted her by sighting extremely annoyed. "You think I'm getting wasted while the CIA is on my tail. Shun, for a moment I really thought you started to clear your childish little head. Thought wrong I guess."

She rolled her eyes, slightly relieve she wouldn't have to go through the whole drink-discussion again. That had started to grow a habit almost every night. "What do you want to drink then."

He thought for a moment. "O screw it you only live once and it won't be so long, settle me with a tequila shot."

"You only get-"

"_One_, got that sugar. Now hurry." He scuffled her off and she scampered to the bar. When she came back she pushed the tequila glass against his hand and sat down, sipping of her diet coke. She wasn't so found of alcohol after a few of her own horrible moments.

"So, what are we going to do now?" She asked when he placed back his glass.

"First things first, Lizz. What do we know?" He played with the tiny glass, sliding it from his right to his left. "We know the CIA is on our back, well basically mine-"

"-Count me in with that, Sands." She snored. "I dragged you back into this, I blew there cars up. I'm as much into this pile of shit as you are."

His face lightened slightly. "Well then, _both_ of us are about to get fucked by the CIA. That's not good Lizz, but I guess you figured that all out by yourself. You ain't dumb."

"That's almost a compliment."

He didn't react on that and kept playing with his glass. "They know everything Lizz, everything. About you, about me. O fuck they know a hell lot about _me_. Yeah, Daily had a nice big fucking file with my name on it. They know everything, I don't have anything to hold on to. No slight bit of information that could pay them off."

"I know." Lizz said, now that he started about it himself it was a good time to get it out on the open. "I read the file, or at least the things Djessy found imported for me to know."

For a moment the glass stopped in his left hand. "Is that so."

"Yes, but she told me- us that you had some information they wanted. Any idea what that might be?"

He shook his head. "Beats me. They basically dumped me here in Mexico because they wanted to get rite of me. I'm sure you read that somewhere along the pages." Then he added to himself. "Why wasn't I just stationed in Alaska…"

They both went silent, Lizz took another sip of her coke.

"We need a other car, new ID's." Sands put forward. "You still got the money in reach right?"

"Money won't be the problem. I got some in the bags I brought with me and if where near a bank I can get it in a minute." She answered. "The car won't be a problem either, on of the guys working in the kitchen wanted to trade his old Cadillac for Julio's truck." She sighted. "Boy, he is not going to like it. That truck is like a brother to him."

"To bad he doesn't have a vote in this." Said Sands a bit harsh.

"Shut up, I ruined his life don't mock him." Lizz said miserable. "What are we going to do with them anyway? I mean I don't really care if anything bad happens to Djessy, but if Julio gets hurt…"

"O, boohoo." Sands snored. "We can just ditch him here. Sure, we give him some money to get back home."

"The agents saw him leave with us, they might think he's in it too." Lizz thought out loud. "It could put his family in danger and I don't want to risk that."

"Don't want to risk it or don't want to get over him." He rose a eyebrow and gave her that cocky half-grin. Now _she_ started to play with her glass.

"Does it matter. Let's keep him for a few more days. That gives him some time to print the story in his head."

"Story?"

She sighted irritated. "Yes, something like we kidnapped him or something, I'll figure something out tomorrow."

"Swell, now what are we going to do with the doc. We can't ditch her. She's the only leverage we got at the moment. And I'm sure she has a bit more information then she just told."

"_True_, but what if she start to call for help-" She hadn't even said the words and she heard some screams coming from Sands' room.

"O crap. Wait here I'll be back in a sec!"

.-.-.

He heard her stumble back clearly frustrated and in the way she sat down, kicking against the table told him enough to rip the grin off his face.

"So what did you do with good old doc?" He asked.

"Gagged her." She muttered casual and picked her glass up. He just nodded and wondered how healthy it was for a teen to say it like it was part of her day routine.

"Arg, I wanna go to sleep." She yawned. "Let's come up with a plan so I know where to drive to tomorrow morning."

"I say we keep that bitch close. Did you check her pockets, if she has a bit more of that stuff where she knocked me out with we can keep her down for quit a while."

"Hmm, I hadn't thought about that. Sounds alright, for the moment. Your right, we still need her not just for a back up. She knows things, she's a doctor. She might even know some stuff about med-"

He could have slammed her in the face for bringing that up. "- _Fuck_ you. I'm not taking anything. The last few weeks I felt like crap and I know it wasn't just because I was dead tired and because I suspected something." The glass in his hand felt so throw-able. To smash in hundred pieces right between the eyes of the waiter. Or hers if she would make another foolish comment.

"Sands I'm sorry for-"

"Another time, she stays, fine next subject." He run through his hair and a old 'friend' appeared. "I think I know the right guy to get some new ID's. J. Johns, made his trademark of faking the best papers."

"And where do we find this mister J?"

"Puerto Vallarta, coke-diamond, very intriguing city." He had a few flashbacks when he was still working there. Not that there was much to flashback to, it had been the most blur piece of past he could remember.

"Sounds very nice. That around the coast right?" He nodded. "I think that we can be there in a few days. We need to avoid the main roads." She started to fold some very big piece of paper and he guessed she was checking the best route.

"So, we keep Djessy under influence, take Julio till Puerto Vallarta, find that Johns which I hope is a better 'old friend' then your last… And then get a fake ID. Correct?"

"Yes sergeant, that's the idea." He barked back.

"And after we have the ID's?" She questioned.

"I'm working on it. I heard Europe is very beautiful in the winter." She didn't answer and drunk up the last bit of her coke.

"You know I already start to miss the evening-discussions about what channel the TV should stay on." She whispered and placed the glass back on the table.

He knew what she meant, somehow there life had sunk from low to lower. And tomorrow was going to be jackpot-bottom, because a good five hour drive in a car with two people he despised… He could only hope he wouldn't feel that trigger-happy. And pray the voice would keep low now that he was practically off any meds. Yes, tomorrow was going to be hell…

"Let's get some sleep." She proposed. He stood up and let her lead him back to the room. At his door she let good.

"Night, Sands."

He turn to her. "What are you doing?"

He could feel her roll her eyes. "I'm going to sleep with Julio." There was a silence. "I… No! Not _with_, in the same _place_… Don't give me that look, I still need to give him a huge explanation!"

"In other words you ditch me with the chick that pumped me full of drugs for about well lets say a good few months. Sorry that I can't remember the exact date my mind was all a bit blurry!"

"Well, what do you suggest you and _Julio_ sharing one room?! That's not a option. And I'm not putting Julio with Djessy, I don't like the idea of her toying with his mind."

She had a very good statement, she was even practically right about it. But the idea of sleeping in a room next to the wench who had drove him back into the darkness he'd feared his whole life. The place where he was never safe and where that little boy cried all night because the walls where keeping him away from safety.

Even thinking about it made his stomach ache. Jesus, he'd been so fucked up. Even months after that fear would rush up all the sudden, the girly gave that feeling a name: Posttraumatic stress disorder.

He could stay in his room for hours, pleading to the walls, sitting behind his bed until she came in and tried to talk him out of it all. Had been hard, for both of them. It was hard to hear her voice while three other where screaming. A few times it got out of hand, but he really didn't want to think back about that.

"_Fine_, then I'll sleep in this room. But-" He paused and gave her a dirty look. "This is the_ first_ and _last_ time, got that?" She answered something vaguely he had to guess it was something like 'fine' or 'whatever'.

When he closed the door he could hear the woman in front of him whimper. He crossed his arms and turned his head to her. 'Yeah, you be scared you sorry slut. I hope you fucking wet your paints just like the little boy did in the dark.'

He'd always had a lack of caring. But with her, well he had more feelings for a broken toaster then for her. After he was sure his breathing was calm he walked towards her and hold when he felt he knee touching his shin-bone. 'Now, I'm in control. And you know it.'

But he didn't felt like it. He knew she couldn't move but still her presence feared him. He could take her out in no time. She wouldn't even fight back, she couldn't. Still, all those things, memories, voices, drugs, pain… It was as real as she was breathing.

'Maybe if she stopped, everything would go away.' He wasn't sure if he thought about that or that something whispered it to him. He decided not to care.

His hand reached to her face and he touched her cheek. His jaws clutched and careful he slide more to the right making contact with her nose. He could feel how tense she was, she was afraid of him. Very afraid, she breathed in and out like she was running and had run a mile.

Her face was small he realised when he'd examined her chin and went through her hair. She was a lot smaller than he had imaged. In his point of view she was someone strong and untouchable. Something from the dark, something that could cause hurt. Something from his past.

But now, she felt like something you could crush with a single blow. Where you could do damage to. Something you could kill.

He smiled and reached back. He let her in distress for a few moments more. Then he took one single step back so there was no connection. And it was because he wanted to, not because she did.

His smile grew bigger. He tapped on his temple. "Now, I am God." He let his hand drop and he made it to the bed, letting the light on to make it near impossible for her to fall asleep. He found his way to the bed and crashed. He didn't took his glasses off, he didn't take his shirt off. He just dropped and fell asleep for the first time in many, many weeks.

**I wanted to make it even longer but its part one. And I'm starting to feel extremely sleepy. Sorry if there is much bad grammar, I'll fix that if it's world-shocking. I liked this chapter a lot, it was fun writing it. And I think I came up with a descent plan along the way. Half of the things I hadn't even thought about. But that's the thing with Sands, he takes over.**** Next chap can take a while, I don't have a plan for the drive yet.**

**X Nuky**


	12. Whirlpool of thoughts

**No clue how to name this chapter, there is no great action but a lot to think about. Enjoy and review for love, grace, faith and Jack Daniels. **

_**Thank you note:**_** Much, much, much thanks **_**Ditte3**_**. You really helped me out, I wrote much faster after your reactions and my ego is the size of Mars at the moment. THANKS! (The jetski is coming your way)**

_**Disclaim:**_** Let's start with the good things, I own Lizz, Julio, Djessy… that sounds good! And that car and one packets of **_**Black Devils**_**. I do not own Agent SJ Sands and that… blows big time. Well you can't have it all, now can you?**

_**Warning: **_**yeah, let's drop another warning for bad spelling. I think I've become much better since I started English for a good few years ago. But I'm still learning, I'm still Dutch and still dyslectic. Some things will never chance. **

**Chapter 12)Whirlpool of thoughts**

He'd been staring at the TV screen without watching it. Everything kept spinning and spinning in his head. He had been held hostage, got a gun against his head, drove almost into a couple of cars so she could set them on fire… And now he sat here, somewhere in nowhere. Watching a flickering TV screen.

The door got opened and Lizz stepped in a bit unease. Finally he could rip his eyes of the screen.

"A-are you alright? I heard some screams from the hallway."

She smiled nervous. "I'm okay."

"Then can you finally tell me what the hell is happening?!?" He exploded. "You almost shot! You destroyed cars… You… and _he_! And she?! Who is she?! Why did you kidnapped her?! She is a doctor and you could use a doctor right now, both of you! Because your out of your mind! Your loco!"

She looked to her feet and started to toy with her bracelet.

"Why didn't you let her take him away!" He spat. "You said it yourself, he is _crazy_ and _dangerous_! Why didn't you let her take him away! You could've been safe!"

She sat down on the bed next to him and pulled her knees up. "You won't understand."

He cleared his throat. "Try me Lizz, tell me everything. He isn't your uncle right?"

She shook her head. "No, where not even related. He just turned up one day… No, that's not right." She sighted trying to find the words. "About one year ago on the day of the dead I found him shot to shred, bleeding and… he-. I took him in not know what I took in."

Julio's eyes grew. "And your family just let you?"

"Well, I don't really have any family left. That I know of." The fumbling with her bracelet turned nasty. "That's a long story, but let's just say I flee to Mexico because I've done some stupid things myself."

"Like what?"

She let her bracelet alone and looked up. "I stool millions from my stepfathers bank account, it was a payback and a good start for a new life. Just… don't think about that to much, it's difficult."

He felt puzzled. "No kidding."

"After a week or so he was pretty fixed up, a good thing though because that's when trouble came. My stepfather found out where I was and we had to run away. Well drive away."

"You can _drive_?"

"Back then I couldn't but you learn very quick if you have to." He just nodded after that.

"After that we basically drove through Mexico trying to find some place safe. He set me up a few times, I did too. Some old enemy turned into a friend, at least for me. Sands still hates him. It's all so extremely messed up and complicated I don't really know how to explain. You should have been there to understand."

"Still I don't get why you didn't left him to that doctor. He is crazy and dangerous, why do you care for him all that much?"

Her bearing changes and he couldn't remember her eyes being so serious. "Because he became a better man. And I know why he does what he does. He took bullets for me, he killed for me. I'm not saying it's good, not at all." She paused. "I think I'm to fare into this to see the right from wrong in the big picture. He is crazy, I know that. But he would _never _hurt me on purpose. And that Djessy… She is not taking him away, over my dead body. I know this all sounds like I lost it too. But, I guess that's my life now. And I'm sorry that I thought I could change that. I'm sorry that your mixed into my life. In a day or so that will be over and I'll pay you enough to make it back and buy a new car and a new shop, Julio. I promise."

"I still don't get it Lizz." He muttered and massaged his temple. She gave him a watery smile.

"That's okay, I'm still trying to figure it all out. That's how life works with mister Chaos."

"Don't you miss that then, just to live life like… normal people?" He asked.

She shrugged. "What's normal? I grew up in a 'normal' family, well for the first few years. I don't think I'll ever live a normal life. I can't go back there. You have no idea what kind of things I've seen and as soon as I have time to think those things come back. I've seen dead people, shot, I saw a person murder another. I've been through horrible thinks that I don't think I'll ever keep up a normal relationship going. I don't think normal is healthy for me, not any more."

"So your just going to run from city to city until you die?"

"I think so, that's my life._ Our_ life since the day of the dead. That won't chance, not with all the money of the word."

He gave her a long look, she seemed a bit dreaming and starred at the figures on the carpet.

"You don't sound unhappy about it."

"I was some time ago. Then I got the chance to go back and live a normal life. But when I was alone I found out things as normalcy passed me. I couldn't get back, not even when he was in that Centre with Djessy. I _chanced_ to much."

Julio didn't know what to think, it felt like he stepped into another world. _Her _world that seemed to dangerous to live in. He wondered how she could have survived, he'd been in it for about a day and he felt the urge of crying and hiding under the blankets like a little boy would do after watching a horror movie. Only _this_ movie was reality.

"Let's get some sleep, tomorrow morning we have to leave by dawn. So that's not more then four hours to sleep." She yawned.

"Where are we going tomorrow?"

She lay down under the blankets. "O, sorry I so totally forgot. Where going to some drug city to get fake ID's since we will be in the picture. There we will drop you off at the station or something. I'll figure out some story for you, so if the CIA comes knocking on your door you know what to say and it won't put you in danger."

She clicked the light out and fell asleep, he didn't he just stared into the darkness while his thoughts were spinning and spinning.

.-.-.

"Get up, it's morning." Someone shoved him and patted on his shoulder. "Jeez, get your lazy ass all up, were going!"

He quirked his head up and rolled to his side. "Fuck off, I feel like dead meat."

The blankets got pulled off. "We have to go, surely you don't want your next wake up to be from the CIA."

That idea made it more bearable to get up. Feeling his back ache from being knocked down by the drugs, he sat up. The first thing he did, as he did every morning, was to make sure his glasses where firmly against his brows. So he didn't have to face the world as a freak, but as a man.

"What time is it?" That was number two of his morning ritual.

"'Bout five."

"That's early."

"I figured all of the other agents would be early-birds."

"True, they all live on coffee and coke. Wonderful way of rushing through your life."

She snored. "Yes, sounds even better then the American dream."

He heard her wander through the room. He felt below his pillow until his hands griped around a gun. Not the handgun from Djessy, but _his _gun. He reloaded it in now time, played with the cold steal for a moment and listen to her. She kept an eye on him, trying not to let it be noticed. 'Sweet, but fucking annoying.' He razed the gun. "Bang, bang I shot you down."

"That's not funny." She answered.

"Who said it should be." He replied on a humming tune. "My_ baby_ shot _me_ down." He mimicked a gun, pressed his index finger against his temple and pulled the 'trigger'.

"Wonderful singing voice Sands." She sneered and pushed the last few items in her bag. "Next year I'll put you up for _Idols_, you might even make it to _Broadway_."

He gave her an amused look and pushed the gun between his belt. "We should buy a few holsters, walking with a gun near your dick can make a scene."

"Walking with you, with Djessy on cuffs makes a scene no matter what." She told. "But your right, in that drugtown of yours I'm sure we can find some."

After he'd heard the doc's name everything what she said after was a bit of a blur. For a moment there was panic climbing up his throat, before he realised he had a gun fully loaded if she even tried coming near him.

"Speaking of the good old doc, why isn't she mangling into this conversation. Surely she has a opinion about this all."

"She won't, not for a few hours. I drugged her before she woke up. I guessed with the doses, but if it could knock you cold she won't be a problem for a while."

"What stuff is it anyway?" He asked, remembering how numb he'd felt.

"Dunno, but it works." She answered blunt. "Are you ready to go? You have to drag her to the car. I told the manager my mom had some kind of epileptic attack and we have to take her to a doctor."

"Your on a roll kid, next time let the manager drag her to the car."

"O please, some exercise will do you good."

He heard her un cuff the iron and he stood up, repulsed by the fact he touch her again. 'I could just shoot her, I could. If I wanted to. I have the power to do that now.' With on last glare at Lizz he took the doc's arm and swung it around his shoulder.

"O, baby I'll shot you down."

.-.-.

Julio felt terrible uncomfortable sitting in the Cadillac against the drugged woman who had aimed at him not so very long ago. He was use to drive in his truck, with much room, that ragging noise on the background and the smell of smoke. This car didn't make any of those familiar sounds, had just enough space to breath and smelled to cheap perfume from hookers. O, and add the fact that the car had been repainted a few time and had now the colour of baby-pink mixed with some kind of green glow over it.

While Julio rolled on of the windows down, moral hit bottom up front front. Lizz was just driving, one very _long _and straight road. Sands was just sitting there, trying to catch the sleep he'd missed after the short night.

"Before you fall asleep and I follow next, can you start thinking about the things the CIA might want from you." He hear Lizz mutter.

"Ya think I haven't thought about that yet?" The loco snapped back, with a few warning tones in his voice. Then he readjust, both in his temper as his bearing and leaned back relaxed.

"They could want a hell lot of things from me. A, they could want some information I gathered over the years. B, they just want me to hush about all the dirty little things there beautiful organisation does. C-"

"-Like what?" She interrupted him.

He sighted, partly annoyed by her ignorance and the way she cut his story off. "Dozen of things, blackmailing countries, murdering politicise that have a brighter vision then that they'd like to see. Hmm, what more. O, the usual torture methods most people might find a bit harsh and medieval. Then you have the sudden disappearing of people, drug money, smuggle both drugs _as_ people. Doing laundry, turning the blood-money into something useful. And, well the fact that they take people as _me_ in says enough don't ya think?"

Julio's head snapped to Lizz thrilled to know how she was going to react. She just hummed and turned on the radio. His mouth dropped. 'Are you deaf?! Didn't you just hear what he said?!'

Probable not because she didn't seemed to be scared or shocked by it. Well, he was. Very much. The people sitting in the same car as he sat in where playing hide and seek with one big and invincible organisation where murder and secrets where rule number one. Another fact that also made him shiver was that the CIA had taking Sands in as an agent. If people like he where part of that organisation then… Would he even make it home?

'_Home_…' His annoying brothers, his crying little sister and his mother and father flashed by. How would they react if they found out his bed was empty and he didn't even leave a note. Didn't even say _goodbye_...

Quickly he turned to the window. He didn't even had the chance to say goodbye. In a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds his life had turned 360 degree. His casual way of life was gone, no more fixing up cars, no more being late for dinner. No more spending hours behind the counter reading comics.

Now his life really lay in the hands of God. And in those of Lizz and the loco. That fact made him shiver. There was something so terrible _wrong_ with that man. The way he treated Lizz and everyone around him, his cold way of making clear what he wanted and how he wanted it. And the habit of wearing sunglasses twenty-four-seven. That wasn't normal. Nothing around him was normal.

There where so many pieces, to many to make a puzzle. He started to understand how un-normal Lizz her life was. To many little pieces to fix the big parts. And he only knew _half_ of it…

The woman next to him started to move, he jumped and nudged his head on the exact same spot. He rubbed it annoyed by his stress. "Lizz, she starting to wake up."

The blond turned and observed the doctor for a moment. "Na, I think she will be alright for a hour or so."

"Your sure?" He poked in her ribs and the doctor let out a soft sound. "I think she's nearly close to waking up." Suddenly he frowned. "Why are we riding so _slow_?"

Lizz turned back. "I dunno, according to this car the engine is near full… Wait?!" She slammed on the dashboard. "He points that since we left… O shitty."

The car started rid slower, even while Lizz hammered down on the gas-pedal.

"SHIT!" Lizz spat.

"Lizz, _please_ tell me you were intelligent enough to _check_ this piece of crap before we drove away." The loco growled with tight jaws.

Lizz blushed. "Uhu…"

The loco sunk deep into his seat. "That's it where doomed." He glared to his left. "Why don't you shoot me through the head, idiotic little-"

"-Shut it, I've been thinking like twenty-thousand things at the same time! It's not that strange I forgot one little detail-"

"-Kid, you just screwed us over. And for the _second_ time in one week you really piss me _off_." Before Lizz had a chance to get a word between he was already out and slammed the door shut.

Julio watch her slammed on the wheel and hiss something. She rubbed her temple. "This blows." They both watched as Djessy gave another soft mutter.

"This _really_ blows..."

"What are we going to do now?" Julio asked worried.

She shrugged. "Beats me." She opened her door. "You stay in the car and give a yell if that nasty woman wakes up."

.-.-.

From the coolness of the car into the hot beaming sun sucked. It sucked now and it would always suck. That was Lizz her opinion about the Mexican weather. It was always as if you got slammed right into the face with a hot fist. You could practically lean against the hot air. But that was just one of the many things she didn't like about Mexico. She didn't like the food, it was to hot just as the weather and it all tastes the same. And the corruption and not be able to hang out wherever you like if you where a girl. Mexico could suck big time.

But of course with ever minus there is a plus. You could always wear short skirts and tops. You always remained a tinted skin, like the models on covers without using tones of high-quality make up. And if you wanted something, you could get it _without_ questions, _without_ waiting and _without_ filling in forms.

So in a general sense of speaking, Mexico did well. If you had money. And that wasn't a problem. At the moment.

"Look I'm sorry alright?" She muttered, leaning on the roof of the car. She watched as he inhaled and didn't react when he blew the smoke in her face. She had that coming.

"Sorry won't do it kid. Were stranded in Midsea-Mexican-desert."

She pouted. "Well see it in a positive perspective."

"Which _is_?"

She went silent after that. "At least they don't know where we are."

One of his eyebrow rose. "And your sure of that _because_…"

"_Because_ they would be here by now?" She started to doubt her answer, after she'd said it. And lost hope when he gave her an awkward look.

"Okay this blows."

"I was going for _fucked _bout yeah, this blows Lizzy." Sands answered.

Lizz narrowed her eyes. "How come your so calm? Normally you will threaten me if I bought the wrong kind of cereals. Now I practically handed us to the CIA on a silver plate and you haven't even yelled at me."

He made a gestured that tried to wave away her question. "So what's your point."

"My point is, you don't even try to drag me over the car and punch me in the face. You don't have your gun ready to be trigger. Your not even interrupting me while I'm rattling to you! Explain that!"

He breathed in harsh. "Fine, kid you wanna know _why_ I'm trying to stay calm and not cut your throat?! Because this _thing _is humming again and as soon as I get slightly pissed, angry or anxious this little thingy is going to trigger me and I'll _snap_, got that?!" He took another deep breath. "So, yeah I'm trying to get rid of the urge to scream at you senseless because as soon as I do that I'll go loco. And since you and I both know there isn't much of meds around and where in the middle of _fucking _nowhere I don't think it'll do anything good, savvy?!"

She crossed her arms. "You have a point."

"Good." He ruffled on the roof with his fingers, with his other hand he took out another cigarette that lay also on the hot metal of the car. "And fuck me if you nag about smoking."

"I wont." Although _lung-cancer _almost slipped out her mouth.

The door on Julio's side opened and Sands growled. Julio withdraw a little and stared at her as little puppies can do too. _Why are you doing this to me,_ he seemed to say.

"She woke up and starts to talk. I just thought you would like to know that." He gave Sands one long look, who gave him a thigh grin and stepped back in the car.

"O, Lizz why did you fall for Saint Edgy. I mean no offence but that guy will jump when he sees his own shadow." Sands pointed out.

"Just because he is not use to you and everything that includes you doesn't mean he's chicken." She said sulky. "Remember my first few weeks? I was scared_ too_."

"That was because I had a gun pushed against your temple whole day and you had a million theft with your name on it. That was different Lizz."

She shrugged. "_Whatever_. I'm going to check on Djessy before we have another problem."

.-.-.

The buzzing in his head started to increase and it annoyed him. He was perfectly able to hear and understand what was happening around him, but there was a rustle through it all. Like when you listen to a old radio. He could block the voices, but make them less. He didn't react and tried to act like he didn't hear any of it.

But it was there and that started to nibble on his fear. That wasn't good, not at all. As soon as fear kicked in hurt wasn't very far. Somehow they become friends, living along his life. And he had to watch out for them. Because how much they enjoyed the others company, they never like him that much.

'You _can't _take me down fuckwit.' He pressed out the cigarette and crushed it in his hand. He could feel the burning of the last remaining bit of heat. But that wasn't important. He needed to feel to stay… It sounded so god damn retarded. 'But it's necessary. Don't listen, don't listen think about other things…'

Like what… How the CIA was going to smoke him? How long he would last without his meds, water and cigs? How long it would take until his brain was fried… He moaned and tapped on his temple. 'Fuck.'

Now there was whispering. Slow and low. Both very much the opposite of good. Both very wrong to hear. It always started with the nameless first one. Stressing him out just for being there. It would always make him do those crazy things. Bad things, evil things. Hurt, fear, let the buds take other people down. So he could stay standing.

Because it would hiss and threaten if he didn't listened, didn't react, ignored or fought with it. Then it would get all cheered up and summon something up that could hurt him like hell. No, it wasn't hell. He'd been in hell already, eight fucking years to count precise. Or maybe it was hell and he just got dragged back into it. It was the fear, the darkness, the pain. The faint feeling of knowing he couldn't make it stop. Because it was in his own head. And she wouldn't let him blow that up.

Then there was another. He didn't fear that one. He was mortified of that one. Because that last one made him remember everything and everyone he ever harmed. The tone, the grief in the words and the venom. It might be the worse of the three. Because it made him doubt. Hate himself, feeling sick, unworthy to live. And maybe he was, because what was he?

'One big bluff.' He answered himself. 'One guy screwed over ten times to many. Not lucky, stabbed in the back. And insane. That's me Sheldon Jeffery Sands the guy that didn't even die when he had the chance. The guy who's stuck in a country that took everything from him. One sick sorry ass.'

He opened his hand and let the small bits of shag whirl along with the warm wind. He craved for another, somehow nicotine would ease his mind. As alcohol, but he was very out of that. And without meds it would take longer to get in that lucid state. He wouldn't even make it there, only pass out in the dirt and have a motherfucker-hangover.

But before he could clear his mind and take another Lizz stumbled out.

"There is a truck coming."

**HAH! A cliffhanger. I think this one will count as the first. God, I feel so bad right now. No, not for my readers, for me because while writhing I ate to much candy and I'm going to be sick.**

**Okay, that was enough information about me. (Takes another energy-drink and some chocolate) I need to make it to 45KB tonight. I really want to make that. I don't think I'll make it but I have to try. **

**I like how my character develop, Sands included even when he is not really my character. ( although I gave him another POV then in the movie… alright I made him nuts, that's why I love him. I dig the crazy.) I think Lizz is doing well, for a teen. I like how she keeps being a teen with he way of talking and thoughts. Julio, poor guy. I feel so sorry for him…yeah, right…**

**And Djessy, boy she is going to have a hard time. I kinda planned things out. I know half of the ending and one El Grande thing in the middle. And some other things, smaller but funny to write and hopefully to read. **

**O, hear me ramble. I'm going!**

**X Nuky.**

**PS) Don't forget to review, yes you! No! Don't look away you little-… GET BACK HERE! **


	13. One flew over the Chickentruck

**I did a little research for this chapter, in case you wonder all the meds I describe are real, got it al from wikipedia. **

**Chapter 13) ****One flew over the Chicken-truck **

"Chicks?"

"Yes." She said again.

He gave her a long look. "Chicks?"

"Or chick_ens _to speak in correct English." She said, teacher-tone.

He ignored the feeling of cutting off her smarty-ass tone. "You mean where getting saved by a chicken-guy?"

"By a chick-driver. Or a truck-driver." She went on with the same tone.

He cracked his knuckles and hold his fist with his free hand, just in case. "I ain't feeling much for sitting in chicken shit, while getting tossed around because señor Cuka Racha can't drive his truck."

"First of all his name is _Garcia_ and it's very nice of him to drive us to his town." She pouted.

"_Nice_?! Tsk, you offered him a three months income!" He spat back.

"I gave him hundred dollars…"

"A three moths income, as I said." He replied not so friendly. She made a sound as if she was about to chock.

"Please get in the truck before the C-you-know-who will arrive. And before _mom _gets sicker!" She yelled afterwards in Spanish.

Sands growled. "Kid, you just overdid it." He grabbed her shoulder and let her walk him to the truck. Not that he wouldn't be able to find it himself, since the smell of chicken hung unpleasantly in the air.

"You better fix me up a very good motel after this!"

.-.-.

She didn't know what had been the worse, hearing Lizz hum with all the songs on the radio. The drowsy feeling that didn't seem to leave her body, being unable to speak or hold her eyes open for more then ten seconds. Or the fact that señor Sands had placed his gun against the back of her neck. And the smell of chicken-shit…

'Or maybe now is the worse, or the worse is still to come.' She thought miserable. She'd been cuffed to the bed she was laying on. The drug, _Flunitrazepam _or _roofie _for the young criminals, started to wear off.

It made her head spin and she felt sick. As if she'd been drinking to much. She curled up and hold her stomach. It was the first time she experienced the side-effects by herself. Of course she'd been studding it, as she did with all the drugs and medication before using it on one of her patients.

She had always been eager to learn and she took her job serious.

'To serious.' She thought painfully holding her belly. 'Mamá was right, I am a work-a-holic. And now is it to late to quit.'

She looked through her eyelashes to the cabin not far from her bed. There was a phone, connecting straight way to the reception. If she could reach far enough, just far enough she could be saved.

But could she get up?

With a hard bump she landed face front on the floor.

No she couldn't get up.

Painfully she hold her nose while tears stung in her eyes. It hurt and it started to bleed. She rolled on her side so she would chock in her own blood and sobbed. 'Can this get any worse?!'

The door opened and two leather boots came in. She closed her eyes. 'So it can be…'

The boots came closer, she could see them from under the bed. She tried to roll under it, to disappear. But the cuffs started to jingle. His boots stopped and turned to the bed. She whimpered remembering very well what he'd done to her a day ago.

"You know it's not very nice to hide from a blind man." In two steps he stood right beside her. "That's very low, even for a shrink." He kneeled down and her huge and tear-filled eyes reflect in his glasses. He grinned and bended further down. She winched away but couldn't get very far because of the cuffs.

He grabbed her wrist and dragged her from under the bed. He got back on his feet and swung her back on the bed.

She stopped a whimper as she got put on the mattress. He sat down too, his bearing told he was a bit clueless himself. 'Might get the best out of that now I still can.' She thought and opened her mouth, only to close it quickly when he reached for his gun.

"You know there is a silencer on this beauty here." He tapped on the long black cylinder on the end of his gun. "I can kill you right away."

"W-what's holding you back then?" She asked trying to keep the tremble out of her voice.

He turned to her and shrugged. "You tell me doc." He toyed with the gun then pointed it directly towards her. "You tell me."

She froze and yanked on the cuffs. "You don't want to be-"

"Doing this?" His brow rose. "Why not? Because you're a woman? That never stopped me before. And it will never stop me, not in this lifetime. And don't think about throwing in little Lizzy, frankly she decided not to care about you to much. After you set her up she doesn't really _like_ you anymore. Kid has a good point by the way. Surely she won't hurt you, she is not the type that will put her enemies in pain. No, not her." It scared her how his world grown from casual to treats. Little hints, the way of tell it slowly so the words would sink in.

"She is a good kid you know, I'm sure you picked that up after you spend all those long hours with her one the phone." He went through is hair, putting a few strings out of his face. It was blank, his face. No emotion, not even a twitch of a jaw. No sigh of disdain, anger. He had turned into the opposite of the person she'd spend hours with in the Centre.

"Yeah, watch your patient Doc. Try to read how close he is to snap and get scared. You would like to see that won't ya? Slither your way in my head. Well guess what that aint going to happen. 'Cause I'm not that pathetic little thing anymore you did research on back in that cell." There was still no anger in his voice, or rage. But his tone had changes. Into what? She couldn't lay a finger on that.

Because she kept starring into the barrel of his gun and her nose was still bleeding.

"Where did you talk about with Lizz?"

Suddenly it clicked, that soft undertone was fear. Even when he hold the gun, even while he had that controlling mask over him there was something about her he feared. Now she just had to find out what.

She swallowed the big lump and started to speak, focussing on his body language.

"The first few days I mostly wanted her to trust me. So I asked her many questions about her."

"Like what?"

"How she was feeling, what she did in her free time, how she was getting through to you. Things like that-"

"-What did she answer?"

Her eyes spotted the first hint of nervousness, it was something quit unnoticeable, just the way of correcting another string of hair.

"Depended on the day, some she felt great because she met that Julio. Some she felt down because you made her day like hell."

"Go on."

"She told me many things about you." Another hint, the way he tried to hurry her up. "About your behaviour ever since you left the Centre." Now his anger started to rise, it was clear he didn't like it when he was the main subject.

But he readjust. "Like I said _Doc_, I might be a freak but I got some style. That thing you send through a _hell_ lot of drugs is dead. Continue, before I start to practise. Been long out of it." He gestured to the gun. "Might make it slow and painful. Lung shot can be a bitch, defiantly when your left to bleed to dead, or slowly die by lack of oxygen."

She knew better then push him to the limit. "I told her I had a new sort of medication available for you. First you got _risperidone_-"

One brow rose. "-Wait, I always got _anti-psychotic__a_."

"Risperidone is one type of antipsychotics." She explained. "You have many types, risperidone is for children. It's strong but not _that _strong. Mostly it's taken with other medications like _Lithium_."

He nodded slowly. "And what did you make me take in the house?"

"Something still illegal in the USA. It's called _Quetiapine_. It's not only a antipsychotic but also a_ tranquilizer_. I wasn't sure enough how you would react when I- Normally I would have recommended _Zeldox _but I wasn't sure if it would be strong enough." Her eyes narrowed. "Did you feel any side-effects?"

"Your not the one asking the questions Doc." He answered back. "Gotta learn that, should have learned that. Don't stick your nose in my business. I did well without you."

She swallowed knowing this could mean a blow. "She did not."

His jaw twitched. "She can dig it, don't act like you know her."

"I don't need to know a person to hear there pain. She was… and still is." Her eyes watched as he turn his hand into a fist.

"_Bullshit_."

"Sometimes she cried when she called me-" He rose up and cocked the gun against her head.

"Shut your fucking mouth!" He pressed it harder so her head hit the wall. "You don't have a clue where your talking about! You don't know _shit_! You talk when I order you, you what I say! You don't even breath without my approval GOT THAT?!"

She squeezed her eyes and waited for him to trigger.

"I hope I'm not interrupting something."

She opened her eyes and saw Lizz linger in the doorway.

Her ex patient lowered his gun with a sight. "No your not, was just chatting a bit with the Doc."

"Aha." It was clear Lizz didn't bought it. "Sands you kinda have to go, I wanna go to sleep."

His head shot to her. "Don't boss me around." But he stood up and pressed the gun back between his paints. She watched him walk away and close the door. Never before had she been so glad that another girl walked in while she was alone with a man in a Motel.

.-.-.

She didn't like the fact Djessy pushed his buttons, that could chance into something dramatic or very bloody. Which already happened.

"Your nose is bleeding, did he hit you?" She asked not very concerned about her hurt.

"No, I fell of the bed." She answered honest. That pleased Lizz a bit, she could have said yes. She could have lied to her. Lizz had been clenched against the door after she watched Sands march in. He'd told her he was going to sleep. Right, like she was going to fall for that…

After she'd booked three rooms he'd been all moody. He seemed restless, scampered in and out to get a smoke. Something was bothering him, and it weren't only the voices. First she thought it was because he might think she was going to sleep in the same room as Julio. But even after she'd told him she wanted to keep an eye on Djessy he kept being tense.

'Well at least he keeps me watch my back.' She thought and closed the door after she'd put a card between the door and the frame.

"You shouldn't try to make him pissed." She continued. "Many people did that and not so many survived."

Djessy stubbornly refused to look at her.

Lizz glared. 'So nice of you to ignore me.' Then she noticed the older woman was crying. Even after Sands had made very clear to see her as the villain and her own continues tell her to ignore it, she walked up to the physiatrist.

"With that attitude you will make all the bad guys look bad." She made clear.

Djessy lifted her face, hair one big mess, mascara everywhere.

"I mean really." Lizz continued a bit icky. "Most of the bad guys I knew where _tough_ you know. They would never cry. Not before they got hurt."

Djessy sniffed. "Don't you see it Lizz, _he_ is the bad guy. I just tried to help."

"No, you tried to help yourself."

"Don't you do the same?"

Lizz didn't react immediately, she was a bit put of. "I'm helping Sands. And hey I'm doing a great job, at least better then you and I didn't even earn a white coat."

Djessy gave her a look. "If you try to make me feel bad it won't work. I think I can't feel worse"

"O, after a few hours with me rambling about what a lousy job you did, you will." Lizz snapped back. Djessy didn't react after that. Lizz took the time to make herself more comfortable and tried to show Djessy how easy that was when your hands weren't cuffed around the bed.

"Are you going to kill me?" The tinned woman asked.

"No, _I_ won't." She answered staring at the sealing. She had to say this was one of the better Motels in Mexico. It was the first one that didn't smell, hadn't rats or cockroaches running around and the boss seemed friendly.

"W-will he?"

She sighted. "I don't know. He might if you keep trying to talk him into a session. Believe me on this one, he is not a talker and definitely not about his past. He never talks about it, not with me and he so will not with _you_!"

Somehow Djessy found that last snappy line a encouragement to go on. "But you _do _know some specific things?"

"I'm not listening, I'm not listening." She sang and closed her eyes. Did she really expect her to open up all the sudden after she had set her up. After she took her trust and kicked it a extra few times.

"Lizz, all the things I told you, how brave you where. I meant them." Djessy whispered.

"Still not listening…" She continued her song, with a half eye open.

"I don't think many people would have done what you did for another person. I don't know much about you, except for the things you told me. The CIA didn't inform me about you, I don't think they know who you are."

'_Yet_.' Lizz pouted. 'Soon they will, soon I won't be safe not matter what country I run away to.'

"I wasn't lying when I told you, you interests me. You got something that I don't have."

Lizz glared up. "You wanna know what that is? Bad luck, misery. Somehow I've been born with it and so does Sands. And In case you forgot, I don't trust you so don't try to be my best friend all the sudden. It won't work, I play for the other team! And now I'm going to sleep. Goodnight!"

**Sorry for the random start, you have no idea how hard I had to laugh. I could just see them have this conversation. ( btw I came up with it because in **_**Livin' with the loca **_**they get saved by some farmer who had a sheep truck.)**

**I didn't really know what to do in this chapter, I have so many idea's. A bit to many. I'm still figuring out in what order they will happen. And it doesn't help that I have a few lose pieces laying all around me.**

**Another thing that doesn't help me at all is the fact that there are at least ten people who seem to be reading this fiction and don't spend the energy to type down there opinion. I mean HELLO do you have any idea how much time and energy I put into this story?! **

**Anyway, review this time svp**

**X Nuky**


	14. Bang Bang, I shot you down

**I think I'm going for another**** warning, there will be some graphic things… well not very graphic but kinda icky and Sands won't shut his mouth so you just know that.**

**Enjoy,**

**Chapter 14)**** Bang Bang, I shot you down.**

The small group of fugitives sneaked out of the hotel. It was near dawn and the first few pink beams of the sun climbed over the mountains surrounding the small village. There weren't many people awake, which was a very good thing. The two Gringo's of the group where armed with guns, easy to spot. The male gringo dragged along a woman in a white coat, with both her hands cuffed. The boy seemed the only one normal person in the group. He wasn't very much awake yet, yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"It's not that far anymore." The youngest of the group put forward, trying to cheer up her tensed and tired fellowship.

"You said that fifteen minutes ago." The man snapped, giving a hard toss on the cuffs.

The blond shrugged and looked around the edge of a corner. She made a small gesture it was safe, paused and coughed. "It's safe."

"Swell." Was the only answer, the rest of the group kept quiet. "They better have a car that works this time."

"The guy from the motel said they would. It's a garage, they better have something that works."

"This is Mexico, the country that sticks with selling you trash until you shot the bastard. Remember that salesman? I should have _smoked_ the fuck."

The girl rolled her eyes and didn't react. They crossed the street. When they passed a shop the girl hold halt. She muttered something and went inside. A few minutes later she came back with a few paper bags full food and other things. She quickly handed a coffee to the boy and the man, pressed a cupcake into the hands of the woman and took another out for herself.

Then they continued there travel through the still sleeping town.

Or was it?

_BANG,BANG,BANG,_

Three quick gunshot, with made the man duck down, spill all the coffee and pull out his own gun. The boy had woken up in a flash and dragged the girl behind a car, so clumsy that the bag of groceries landed next to the coffee on the ground.

Meanwhile the man had took hold of the woman's neck and cocked the gun from left to right.

"There not shooting at us, smartass." The girl commented after checking the streets and whipping away the coffee stains.

"If someone is shooting I don't want to miss the fun, kiddo." The man answered back.

"In that case we better check who is shooting." The girl decided. "But lets not make it to long."

.-.-.

He thought he'd set them on a wrong trail. He'd cleaned up his footsteps after last silent battle in the night. It had been a fast one, taking down only the top man of the newest Cartel. He had no choice, the new Barillo Cartel was on the hunt for him again. He didn't know why, he thought he let them believe he was dead.

'But The dead keeps living.' For how long, nobody knew. But he kept coming back, every time everyone was sure he was gone. Somehow he owned that to his country. To his faith to his-

_BANG _

He duck down at a stone pillar from the local church. Quickly he grabbed his gun and reloaded it. He had to work quick, like always. And he had to win, like always.

And he would because-

_BANG! _ Another shot scratched the pillar and score along his shoulder. He crushed and yanked away from the side. While he whipped away the small bloodstream he checked the wound. It wasn't deep, just cut. He would live.

Because legends never die.

.-.-.

"Do you see something?" The girl asked curious, trying to look over the wooden fence that kept her from watching the scene herself. Some screaming people came running by.

"There is a gunfight happening around the church." The boy answered, standing on a trash can. "It seems there after one man."

The girl pouted. "Let me see, let me see!" The boy and her changes places but she was still to small to look over the wood.

"Kid, we could just _go_ there." The man growled annoyed.

The girl jumped down. "And get shot by some local? Hello, that's worse plan ever."

"There not local." Three faces turned to the boy, who flushed a little bit by the sudden attention. "T-they look to rich to be local."

The man and girl exchanged looks.

"CIA?" The girl asked.

"More like Cartel, if you ask me." The man growled holding back his anger. "CIA wouldn't make it into a big scene, that can get them into a bad picture. Cartel don't give a shit about that."

There sounded another few shots, followed by screaming and yelling. The small group was silent for the few noisy moments. There where more gunshots, a bullet shot through the fence, taking a fist size wood with it. The girl was the first one who jumped back in place and peeked thought the whole.

"Bummer! To late!" She yelped.

"The guys is dead?" The man asked rather cheery.

"No… the fight went inside. I can't see anything. Just the shots." She answered disappointed.

"Well that was it, shows over, let's get back to walking along this shit-town to find our self a even shittier car."

The gringo was the only one of the group that moved, he noticed. "I get the feeling I wasn't clear enough about the _were leaving_ part."

"There is a man in trouble, we can't just leave him there all by himself against the Cartel." The girl told.

"_I_ can, _we_ can. If that moron is stupid enough to get the Cartel on his ass he won't live long no matter what we do." The gringo snapped.

There was a silence. The girl crossed her arms and tapped with her feet.

The gringo curse loud and muttered something to himself. "_Fine _let's save some nameless Mexican't, get our life in danger. Why not…!"

.-.-.

He got a smack in the face with the butt of a shotgun. Somehow his yelp in pain was reason to laugh. Furious he looked up to the gang member who did it, just to earn another kick in the stomach. His arms where tied on his back, his gun was taken and his bicep started to burn. He could feel drips of blood leak from the leather of his jacket on the marble floor.

"Not so legendary anymore, now are we?" The shotgun-guy sneered. He didn't answer and throw a repulsed glare at him. It made the other six laugh again, standing high and mighty above him.

He drawn out his feet and whipped the feet away from the two Cartel, standing closest.

'Now look who is talking.' He grinned while he watch the two get up ashamed.

The shotgun-guy screamed some nasty curses at him and raze his weapon again. He turned his face away to prevent the man from breaking his nose.

The second blow came hard, on his temple and everything went blurry. Close to passing out he blinked his eyes. He saw the shotgun-guy in a blur reloading his gun and aim.

Then the doors opened. The shotgun-guy hesitated and turned around.

Frowning he lifted his head and watched as a couple walked in. He couldn't see clear but by the reaction of the Cartel he knew it wasn't according to plan.

"I hope me and my honey-pie aren't interrupting something." The man in the doorway said, stepping inside, arm in arm with his woman.

The shotgun-guy was a bit blown by the blunt appearance, but readjust quickly. "If you are wise you turn around and walk away right now. Seeing you have still a long happy life to live."

The man clacked his tongue and took another step in. "Well your not so very right about that. You see me and this fine looking piece of woman are getting married in a few days. She got pregnant, I felt screwed. You're a guy you know the drill. So now we have a itsy bitsy little problem. We need to check this place, see if it's any good for the ceremony, savvy?"

The shotgun-guy marched forward. "I ordered you to leave, be glade there is a lady around your arm else I would have shot you!"

Not impressed the man sighted. "Well, that would make stains in the carpet. We can't have that. Her family is flying in from Vegas."

"Stains?!" The shotgun-guy yelled. "Your worrying about _STAINS?!_" Then he stated to laugh and turned to his buddies. "This Gringo is insane!"

_BANG!_

The shotgun-guy stopped laughing and turned back to the couple. His eyes met the gun between there hands that had fired. The gringo pulled him close and whispered.

"Sorry my dear friend, you stood on the wrong side of the _bullet_." Quickly he took the shotgun from the tense fingers and stepped aside, letting the Cartel drop on the carpet.

He let his woman go and took hold of both weapons. "So sorry sweet-cheeks, I knew how bad you wanted our day to be perfect." He grinned and blew a kiss to his bride.

He looked into the hall, pointing the shotgun and the handgun to the two man standing close by.

"So gentleman what will it be? Ruin the day of this lovely lady or just waltz away?"

The five reaming Cartels took better grip around there gun and pointed to the gringo. He seemed a little disappointed. "Thought so."

.-.-.

Her fingers toyed with her bracelet, her eyes where focussed on Julio. Somehow he had decided he was keeping guard, well if he wanted to play macho, _fine_.

"What's happening in there?!" She hissed for three times in a row.

"Nothing, Lizz. _Nothing_!" He snapped and pushed her further away from the fence. She glared at him. 'Since when is he so bossy?' She didn't very much like guys with that attitude. You had Sands with his very incorrect point of view about woman ( coming close to, cook, fuck and fuck off.) but she wouldn't listened to him if she didn't want to.

Without giving him another reason to get all touchy she peaked around the edge of the fence. There was no-one around, except in the church. But it also had become very quiet in there.

'That can't be good.' Suddenly she got swung around and pushed against the fence. Before she could react to the harsh and insensitive way of treat a girl she stared into the serious eyes of Julio.

"Don't stand that close, you might get shot!" He snapped and cocked through the whole in the fence. "Stay here, don't move. You might get killed!"

She was to shocked to react on that. Caring if she lived or died was cute. But demanding what she was suppose to do was a whole other thing. 'That's it, I'm going.'

After giving Julio one last look she took off and sprinted towards the church.

.-.-.

He nearly got a heart attack when he saw her run to the Church. "LIZZ NO!" Doubting, stepping right to left he peeked around the fence. "LIZZ _COME BACK_!" She didn't stop, she didn't even look around, running straight at the door.

'Maldito!' Julio took made a cross and made a quick pray. Giving himself a mentality kick in the ass he started to hurry to the church. Before he let her have the chance of running inside he grabbed her shoulder and yanked her back.

"What are you doing?!" He hissed furious.

"Checking out what's going on inside!" She whispered back irritated by his rough way of keeping her outside. "Now, shut up and move!"

"No! I'm going in first." He demanded.

She nearly giggled. "_You_? You don't even have a gun." She pulled out her tiny weapon to kill. "And ladies first, or did you forget your manners?"

Sighted in annoyance and defeat he stepped aside and let her open the door. Both of them peeked there head around the doorway. She was the first on to react on the whole scenario.

"Shit."

Of the eight people who where still alive, three had there gun pointed straight at the loco. On of the man had dropped his gun at his feet and hold his arms up. The loco stood right behind him, one gun pressed against the mans temple, the other to the man on his right, who had took advantage of the Doc. His gun aimed on the cuffed woman.

Now that Lizz amazingly had screwed up there silent entry, the five Cartel members, the doc and the loco quirked slightly to the both of them.

"Lizz we might have found ourselves a _little_ problem." The loco hissed.

Lizz didn't dare to move. "No kidding."

Julio looked from gun barrel to gun barrel. 'Mio dios, I'm never getting out of this alive…' It was four against four. Well, more five against three, since the loco would kill him without doubt if it wasn't for Lizz. Or, six against two, because he wasn't that found of Djessy. Now he thought about it he was pretty much on his own… Without a gun.

Lizz slowly razed her hands up, which made the Cartel have a few tense reactions with the there guns.

"Can't we just come to a agreement?" She said with a tiny voice.

The man who had the gun aimed at Djessy gave her a dirty look. "That Gringo just killed my cousin, this cannot be settled until he bleeds enough to repaint this whole church!"

"Friendly kind 'o people the Mexicans." Sands snored. "And wee creative with home decorating, awesome culture."

"_Shut up_!" It came from two different sides in two different languages.

"I'm just saying I dig this culture, much more real than the Americans. I mean if you hate someone's guts in the USA most people just ignore the fact that that person is alive. Here you tie them down and beat the sit out of them until they pop like a piñata."

The cousins hands started to shake from rage. "Shut up! You killed a member of my family and you disrespect my country! One more word and I will shoot your wife."

The loco clacked his tongue. "Do your thing, I don't love her that much anyway. Not the family type 'o guy. And talking about your country, now that we are on the cultural tour. What's with all your pride and faith. Give it up, you fuckwits. Give it op now you still have the ability to run."

The cousin started to laugh. "Give up?! Why would we do that. You still have no clue who your talking to."

The loco grinned. "Insects."

"_WHAT_?!"

The grin grew. "You heard me correct amigo. _Insects_. Your all insects, let's give you some biology. Bees are be better left alone. You can whip one away and squash a couple more. But it does the real problem no good. You see, soon as one little bee escapes, that tiny little thing flies back to the buds." He made a quick but clear motion around. "And right now your standing in it's _nest_."

The Cartel seemed a bit stunned after the loco went silent. One by one they exchanged gazes.

The loco only smiled, still holding the gun against skin. He looked invincible, so convinced. Like he was the puppeteer of the show, holding the strings. 'Dance little puppets, dance before I cut your lifelines.' His bearing seemed to say.

"Hear them _buzz_, amigo?"

Julio heard it first because he stood closed by the door. "There are people coming this way."

"Ah!" The loco made another motion with his gun. "Wrong, not _just _people shitty-kid. A angry mass. A _very _angry mass. Because you fuckshits ruined there community shit of pray place. And before you think it'll all backfires on good little me, let's make that a no-no. You see, I'm the brave-heart that run fearless into the claws of the Cartel, with that little bride of mine but forget about her, she was just there for the show. _I _did kill one of the Cartel leaders, members, or whatever you want to call that corps on the ground else then cousin. _And _I did it all to save the life of a lonesome Mexican. Now that even makes a dirty Gringo earn a golden star, _savvy_?"

Julio was sure his jaw hit the marble. By the looks of the Cartel they had to feel close to the same. Lizz turned her head a bit into his direction. "They say there is a fine line between insanity and brilliancy. He's that line."

"So, gentleman." The loco continued. "In a few moments, or slightly less then moments… There will be a angry crowd cheering my name." he chuckled. "Guess there is a first time for anything, people who cheer for _me _and viciously crush some Cartel, this time by someone else's hands, but still _my_ work. 'Cause I throw the shapes, won't see you fall. But sometimes knowing is good enough."

The cousin frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

The loco gave him a playful purr. "Let's just say I'm very familiar with your roots, compadre." In a flash his hand yanked his glasses of. Before any of the guys could recover from the shock and distress the second body hit the floor. Quickly the loco placed the glasses back and bow his head to the jolting, bleeding piece of man. "Say hi from me to your cousin, since your such into family matter."

Julio didn't even see the body on the floor. He hadn't even heard the gunshot. Everything had became very blank and silent after he'd saw what lay behind the black reflection glasses. Emptiness, darkness, like the death. In complete horror he let out a soft moan and for a moment he could swear the loco stared at him, but that wasn't possible.

The loco bit his lip and rammed the man he was holding forward, by the force he tripped and crashed also on the floor. Now he was a clear target, but non of the man surrounding him seemed fearless enough to shoot. The loco seemed to enjoy the power he hold over his entire audience. He started to move, his boots clacking alarming on the white floor. He looked from his right, to his left. Smiling, simply smiling. Enough to keep another out of his way.

He could feel his heart beat faster and his breath get less. His eyes where only focussed on what was happening right in front of him. The rest of the world was gone, all what mattered what was going to happen next. What the loco want to happen, what dance he wanted his puppets to perform.

In the middle of the church, normally a place to be calm and modest, the loco stopped not more then a few feet from the man he pushed down. Another look towards his spectators almost _daring_ them to react. But non of them did, so he continued.

Surprisingly he started to hum and calmly took a better grip around the shotgun. "He didn't even say goodbye…" He said on singsong tune and glared down on the man trying to get back on his feet.

Then he drew out the gun and hit the man with full strength against the jaw. There was a crack and a outcry, followed by a thumb of the limb body.

Again that chuckle, that faint smile. "Bang, bang, you hit the ground." He stretched his arm. "_Bang, bang_, I shot you down."

"T-that's enough!"

Shocked Julio turned to Lizz who took a step forward. In reflex he reached out but stopped before he touched her. Every since soul in this room could die and somehow she seemed to have some control over his actions.

Else that man laying unconscious on the ground, would be dead with his head everywhere _but _attached to his neck.

"That's enough Sands. They get it. Don't- It's enough, you did _enough_." She said not very hard, not very powerful. But the loco didn't pull the trigger.

"Did you hear me?" Her eyes shot nervous from side to side, to scared to look the Cartel in the eyes. But somehow she had not problem with taking more steps into his direction. Her voices had lost that familiar sense of confident. "That's enough. You don't need to kill one more."

He cracked his neck and rose a eyebrow. "Who said I have to listen to you… You little… you little piece of…Lizzy-"

He stopped and took a deep breath. There followed a long silence.

_BANG!_

Julio, joined with the remaining Cartel winched back and Lizz cried out, she hold her gun protectively in both her hands, but not aiming yet.

The loco blew away the smoke of his barrel, he gestured to the gap close by the unconscious body.

"He could have been dead. You can call yourself some lucky fucks, better pray some grace to this kid tonight she saved your sorry lives." He reached out his hand, the same hand he hold the gun with.

Lizz kept silent and took his, he swung his arm around her shoulder the metal of the gun brushing her cheek slightly.

"Djessy get up, where going." She looked motionless into Julio's direction, he didn't know what to see in her eyes.

Before the loco walked out he rose his other hand and mimicked a gun. "My baby shot me down."

**I started this chapter with one idea. Something inside a church. Three times I had no clue what was going to happen, four times I felt like stopping. But somehow I can't, that little piece of insanity always takes over the story. Sands always knows to slither his way out, making a show. And after, send them straight to fucking Broadway. ****I think Lizz had a good point, brilliant and insane. A mixture many people had died for. **

**It took me an endless night to write this all down, but it was worth it. I'm happy with it all, even if some of you find Sands a bit to cruel. Don't worry I will get over that fact.**

**Better review before I send that **_**fine line **_**after you,**

**Cheers and love,**

**X Nuky **


	15. Just another plan B

**For all the people that are reading this fic, god bless you. Sorry it took me so long to update something. Before you start reading, there isn't much action in this chapter. **

**Disclaim: Sands is not mine, rest of it all **_**IS**_**! YEAH I own some things. **

**Chapter 15) ****Just another plan B. **

Concerned she stared at the white wall in front of her. Hot water made her vision unclear and the steam made it harder to breath. But she kept standing in the small shower.

Everything kept repeating itself, the shots the silence, the body the blood. He'd been so close, so close of losing it. He told her right after they left the Church,

_Lizz get me meds, drugs anything. Don't let this happen again._

She sighted, that line had been repeating itself for hours. Even when they had left the town behind them Sands had been silent, that wasn't like him. And even _she_ didn't feel like talking. Her normal habit of rambling had been replaced by doubts. And there where to many already.

Bitter tears run down her wet cheek, she let herself slid down the wall and cried softly. 'There are people dead again. All because of him. And all because I told him to. I told him to walk in only to save-' Her eyes shot open and she directly closed them again because of the hot water. 'I forgot the fugitive!' She slammed her fist into the wall and cried out. 'That's so stupid! I let people get murder for nothing! I killed…' She whipped her eyes and stubbornly refused to believe she was still crying. 'I am not better than them, maybe even worse… I let another person, a _mentally unstable _person risk his life for something I wanted.'

She let the hot water slam down on her back, it hurt but she deserved it. 'I was right, when I'm around him I can't see the difference between good and evil. Everything is plain and grey. Everything is possible, only because I have the power to make it happen.'

She stroke her hair out of her face. 'I'm such a lowlife, pretending I'm so much better than him. In fact _he_ is, at least he is brave enough to face what he is. I'm just a little brat whose lecturing everyone, especially _him_ how to live life. Who am I to tell what life should be like, I'm not living a life, I'm living a _lie_. Pretending everything I do is for the good of another. But it's only good for me. Look what I did, I dragged two more people down to my level. I even dragged Sands lower, by saving him. He didn't even wanted to get saved, but I just did to feel better about myself. So people could think I mattered.'

She bit her lip. 'Like _I_ matter… I don't, I just don't. Else dad wouldn't have left me alone with mom. If _I_ mattered he would have cared. Maybe mom was right, if it wasn't for me she would be happy with that bastard. If I hadn't been there, that time, that night… Maybe it was all my fault. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't have to flee to Mexico, I wouldn't have put Sands though so much. Mom would still have her boyfriend and Sands didn't have to kill him. He wouldn't have to go to that Centre, wouldn't have met Djessy… We all wouldn't be here, running from the CIA and probably the Cartel by now…Julio would be home with his wonderful family, _crap_… I destroyed a family. And so does the circle goes around…'

She hunched forward and let her sobs turn into outcries. It all hurt and burned, like the water did.

"Lizz?" Her vengeance demon had picked up her dreadful sounds. "What the fuck are you doing in there?!"

"SHUT UP GO AWAY!" She screamed hysteric, holding her head. There was a pause of hesitation, then three hard knocks on the door.

"Lizz don't play hysteric bitch on me." He preached.

She _hated_ that voice of him, so cool and sane. Like a schoolteacher, or a great drama artist. Because it was all a lie. He wasn't like that, he was insane and always would be. And she hated that part of him, sometimes more then she cared for the rest. "GO AWAY! YOU LIAR! YOU'RE A JOKE! FUCK OFF!"

There was another pause. "Lizz don't make me come in- o screw it!" There was a hard crack and he crashed through the door. Her eye grew huge as she saw his silhouette place the broken door against the wall.

He yanked the shower curtains aside and hissed when the hot water drenched his shirt, jeans and boots. Quickly he turned the water off and stared a bit repulsed down on her. She was still to confused to said, or scream something.

"You, change- fuck… Put some clothes on, get yourself together. Then, bedroom. We need to talk." He stepped back, getting the floor all wet with his soaked clothes and draw the curtains back.

She hadn't thought she could feel worse. But today was _doomsday_. Everything bad was possible. She got up like a sleepwalker and slapped away the curtains in a slow almost passive way. She stumbled to the mirror above the sink. She whipped the unclearness away with a towel and while she dried her body she kept staring into the eyes of that pathetic repulsive little girl. With mascara circled around her eyes, trying to turn her into an adult, while the gaze was from a young girl that had passed away her chance to hide from bad and evil things.

And with no way of expressing herself. No chance to tell and clear out everything she might want. Because that would hurt people and might chance to many things. And she still doubted what she really want. It changed every day, sometimes in moments. Maybe she just wanted to many things, she wanted to much and couldn't sacrifice the few things she had. Some days it where just moments to caress, some days there weren't even moments. And still some days where good. But only a few. But a few where better then none, _right_?

She didn't know anymore, she didn't want to be the one who decided. She wasn't good at that, but somehow she had to be the one who made the hard choices, what effected people she cared about. Even hurt.

She had been standing in front of the mirror for more than half a hour, surprisingly he hadn't yelled her to come in. It made it harder, because again he let the choice with her. It took her longer then normal to clear her face and straighten her back. To be flexible, careful and a bit numb. The one who says words didn't hurt is wrong, sometimes words could hurt as much as a fist crushing your jaw.

With a pare of old PJ's into the bedroom and although she had taken a shower she felled messed up. On the bed he had claimed Sands was smoking, well holding a cigarette between his fingers for the show. To keep his act up, nearly setting the sensitive fabric of the blanket on fire.

She took longer then needed to get through the room, he was studying her and didn't rush her. Now that freaked her out.

"You want to talk, _talk_." She muttered when she sat down on her bed.

He took a drag of the cig. "_No_, you talk."

Her eyes narrowed, building up the wall inside her. "Bout what?"

He sat up. "_You_."

"Why would I want that?"

"Because _you_ freaked."

"You freak the whole time, do you hear me tell you to talk about it."

He pressed out the cigarette without finishing it. "Two wrong luv, one I'm not telling you to. I'm _asking_ you. Second, you and I are two completely other subjects. Your right, I _freak_. Therefore you _can't_."

She gave him a long narrowed look even do he couldn't see it. "That's not fair."

"Life screws us all Lizzy, we both know that." He sighted and seemed to find the right words. "Life is fucked up and hundred times worse when your around me. Today _it _came back and I was glade at some point because the little fuck always gets me though the toughest, sickest things. He does the trick and I only watch, let him be. That's easy, he tells and I just do. But it's hard to suppress it. Since I lost my eyes I can't seem to get back-"

Suddenly he stopped. "Fuck, now _I'm_ doing the talking." He made a slight gesture to her. "Your turn."

"There is no time, Sands. People are after us-"

"Fuck them." He interrupted her. " You talk, get things of your chest. We can't have another one of your outbreaks. I don't think my shoulder will find it pleasant to crack through another door."

She rolled her eyes. "You won't understand-"

He rose his hands. "_Please _don't give me that teenage crap. Don't start whining about how much the world don't get you. I sacrificed my last cigarette on this, so don't sissy your way out."

She looked upon the man she'd spend almost a year with. Witnessed him on his worst and best, but mostly on his worse. She saw him do terrible things, things he _should be_ lock away for. He shot, he killed and he didn't stopped. _Ever_. And never would. Still she'd grown attached to him, because in a way he was the best thing that ever happened to her. That person that _could_ care less if she was gone. He'd prove that, in more ways and more times then possible.

Sure, he didn't treat her like he cared. But that didn't matter.

No, it did, but things you can never change are better locked away in your head. So your heart won't suffer from those things to much.

"Sometimes I make things only worse." She started out blunt. "I try to make it better, but it all blows up in front of me. I thought I could… I could make you better, with the pills, with Djessy. And I thought I could try to be _normal_, be a nice girlfriend. I thought I could make it all better." She sighted deep. "And look what happened. Everything went wrong, I lost again. Like always. And I'm sick of it." She paused and continued with a tiny voice. "Sometimes even of you."

He nodded. "I had that coming." He seemed put off by her explanation, but not as much as she expected. "You know I've been thinking Lizz-"

She rolled her eyes. 'Here we go again, another plan b, another scheme.'

"- This life is killing you. _My_ life is killing you. You ain't strong enough to dig it all. Don't say you are, because your _not_ Lizz." He paused and left both of them in an awkward silence. "I hate your life, trapped in a house with more time to waist then is healthy for a guy. But, I can live it. It's good enough."

She crossed her arms. "So, what's your point in all?"

He looked up and sighed. "Means that after this, it all end. I quit being a bad-evil man. Since Day of the Dead that guy screws up everything anyway." He looked miserable, like he watched the grave of a old friend. "After we get the fake ID's, drop your honey off and ditch Djessy somewhere in the desert we flee. Not just this state, not just Mexico. We get on a plane and we disappear. I think I still have some old friends who can arrange that."

While he had been talking her eyes grow huge. "But… what if it all will go just as last time. I mean-"

He interrupted her. "_Na_ won't happen, I'll try to learn stuff. Braille… I dunno play a instrument or something. I figure something out to keep me busy. And that doc gave me some clues what to take for meds. Anyway I'll find something to waste my time. At least you can have something to call a life. Live your _American dream_ without worrying about _American Psycho_." After that he smirked stiffly.

Another very long and awkward silence fell.

Sands growled. "Alright, no need to thank me for sacrifice my _life_, dreams and all the other crap goose along with that!"

Lizz mouth had been hanging open for quit a long time. When she finally found the words all that came out was a sob. Annoyed Sands went through his hair.

"That's last time for me, playing nice!"

Through her tears she started to smile. "Your serious? I mean… Your sure? I mean… I mean…"

"Yes, what exactly _do_ you mean?" He snapped annoyed.

"Am I worth it?"

For the third time in less then twenty minutes that long and awkward silence fell. Sands face had turned painful.

"I guess." He said casual, hand going into his pocket to a cigarette package that wasn't there. He frowned and hissed when he couldn't find it. "Don't get all bouncy and cheery and huggy. It's just a small change in plan, we can be dead tomorrow. Or this little habit of mine triggers. You never know, now can you."

"I guess not-"

"Wasn't a question it was a _statement_. As I can assure you there is a very full-size chance we get shot, beat, tortured or killed in a rush. So don't get your hopes up!" There lay some warning in his voice, with a dangerous undertone. He seemed calm and therefore close to let the control slip. That was one of the so many rules. You can scream at him if he screams back, but you better shut your mouth and do as he tells when he's all icy and cool.

"I understand." She said soft, still with a enormous smile on her face.

"Good." He nodded. "_Good_… Now shut up, go to sleep and don't freak out anymore because it's fucking annoying."

.-.-.

**Just when I was so sure he was going to be that nice sweet guy… He blew it all up in my face again. I thought 'let's make a touchy huggy moment.' But no, of course not. One of the two have to be dead or dying before that ever happens (again). **

**About Lizz her thoughts, I do understand the teenage brain. (Because I am one.) We all have our days 'the word hates me', I love writhing her POV about 'the world hates me.'**

**Long chap, for a talk-chap/ think-chap. But I like it. Even bit proud of that. (not on the fact that I took me almost a week to write it. But I blame that on our very Dutch holiday, the fact that I'm sick and I'm still figuring out most of the things that are suppose to happen.) **

**Review, Review, Review,**

**X Nuky**


	16. Spinning wheels

**I hope you haven't abandon this story. I'm threatened by plotbunnies so it can take a while to get everything straight. **

**Chapter 16) ****Spinning wheels.**

He awoke by her gruffly sights of irritation.

"What are you doing kid?"

"My hair is poofy and I look like crap."

He fell back on his bed. "Yeah that's a real trauma to conquer."

She snored and continued doing what she was doing.

"Are you planning to act normal today?" She asked briefly when she rumbled around collection her stuff.

"What kind of question is that?" He spat back agitated.

"A very simple one."

He rubbed over the bridge of his nose and lurked up. "Depend."

"On what exactly?"

He started to name. "Mood, temper, weather, clothing, luck, stress and mostly _you_." He felt around until he grabbed the collar of his shirt. "And to the amount of pills, cigarettes and alcohol.

"I asked a very simple question, just say yes or no please." She stopped packing and sat next to him on the bed. "I really want to know."

"Wanna know or take a order?!" He snarled tempering the anger he felt. "It's not like I can switch it on or off you know."

"I know." She shifted on the bed and he could feel her side touch his back. "I know…"

"But?!" He asked fast, feeling that question burn in her mind.

"But I think I'm really going to freak out if you act that psychotic as you did in the church." She muttered.

"Well, you kinda _asked _for that to happen, sweet-cheeks. I mean could you throw me a bigger bone?!"

"I know that! I _know _alright don't rub it in my face I really don't need that right now, please!" She muffled.

Self consciously he looked over his shoulder. That was still a habit out of his old life he hadn't smothered yet. _Look _at people even thought he couldn't anymore.

"Just no mind games today, okay?" She pleated. "No fuss, no craziness I can't _dig _that. Not today."

He smirked while his discomfort grow. Knowing he might losing was a tough one to coop with but having her put that up for a discussion. Not all that swell.

"I'll try to behave." He said trying to make a joke out of it. Or a sneer, anything from the painful truth that started to nag more and more every day.

He was an unpredictable projectile and could go off in a minute.

"Well that's not good enough!" She suddenly snapped after she recollect all her courage.

"Then what do you want me to say?! Sure hone, today daddy won't explode." He snapped sarcastic.

"I just want you to say you won't freak out today! At least give me some hope I can prove Djessy wrong!" She spat back in anger.

That made him even more nervous, not so very good for his temper. "What exactly is the Doc saying about me?" He knew that bitch was rattling behind his back but he never thought the kid would take it serious, not unless it was something _very _serious.

There was a long silence which again didn't do his temper any good. But he tried to keep his breath far from racing and dug his fingers into the pillow. See he could deal with stress _without _throwing stuff.

"She said you might kill me." She finally said almost not audible. "And she might be right Sands."

"Bull." He simply said back.

"I don't think so. There are things- I just… I'm just a girl. I'm not some kind of Wonder Woman who will save day after day. I'm not strong, not all that smart and mostly just a teen. I'm a kid and sometimes you just… you try to piers me into this grownup role. You sometimes seem to think that I can fix everything you destroy. But I can't, I have trouble with managing everything myself. And I can't make you stop, not all the time even when I really want to."

"I would _never _kill you, Lizz." He spook out soft.

"When your _you_, you won't. I know that, I know you would never. But sometimes your not _you_. Then your that thing and it hates me. He will kill me, he might even kill you."

'She knows.' His cover was blown, he was slapped in the face, kicked in the guts. "So what are you saying?"

"Don't freak out."

.-.-.

She watched as the girl untied her bindings, mind still a bit soggy. "Will you keep me drugged?"

A shrug as she asked the time. "Dunno."

"What do you know?" She asked again, this time more forcing.

"That I don't like you." She got for answer while she got the chains back around her wrist.

"You know you can go to jail for this don't you?" Djessy implied to the girl who gave her a stubborn frown.

"With everything I'm doing right now I could get a heck worse then jail, Doc." She snapped and yanked her up. "So why don't you shut your mouth, don't be pissing about everything and _grow up_!"

'You're the one to say, smarty mouth.' Djessy thought angry. 'Your still not legally able to buy a drink yet.'

"Doc is ready to go." The girl cheered thought the hall, covering up the rattling chains with her voice and Djessy's own with coat.

Kidnapper senior staggered out of the motel room versus hers. "_Great_." The sarcasm dripped off. "Is Ill Niño also ready to go?"

"Yes." Miss cheeriness said. " He's waiting in the car."

"And you have the keys?" He asked with a smothered hint of worry.

"Dhu." Lizz said. "I'm not stupid, _relax_!"

"I'll relax when I have my ass parked in the fanciest flight out of this hell hole." He growled and took hold of her shoulder. "Let's just go."

Djessy got dumped on the back seat again along with some clothing. On her right sat the boy whole suffered from chronicle insomnia. Dark circles had taken place below his eyes as he glared up a few moments to hear, then moved on to her ex patient and finally stopped at Lizz.

Somehow she felt pity for the boy. He had been truly sucked into this. She had the choice, well not ending up as a hostel, but at least she'd knew for what kind of job she signed up for. He on the other hand just thought he found himself a nice girlfriend, with a slightly strange relative.

"Where to now?" Lizz asked up front, starting the engine.

"To good old drug town, but first I think it might be wise to cash-in. My friends don't like to waist there time, we better have some dough in hands."

"Sounds alright."

.-.-.

They drove into a town he might have called 'home' weren't it he knew better then that. This wasn't his town, this was just a place that looked like it. Same kind of people, same kind of houses. But not _his _people and not _his _home.

He hadn't slept last night, plagued by worried blurs of what could happen to him, to her. To everyone around him. He didn't just dealt with a crazy person, he dealt with some sort of devil. An eyeless loco who could kill him.

'I don't want to die.' He thought and felt sick from lack of sleep and stress. His head hurt, as his eyes from crying. 'How can she coop with all of this?' Through his lashes he starred at the girl driving. She'd watched how her neighbour killed a man, she walked in without hesitating. And now she's sitting there, eyes on the road focused and clear. So confident, as nothing happened.

She peaked through the mirror and caught his gaze. She smiled while her eyes told him otherwise.

Quickly he looked away, knowing he was ready to burst out in tears. And then that loco son of a bitch would laugh and she would pity him and treat him like a toddler. No longer was he the 'boyfriend' and she the 'girlfriend.' Now he was hostage number two and she was kidnapper Junior. Not a very great relation to work on.

"Where getting followed." She suddenly noticed and glared at the car who drove behind them.

"Your sure?" The loco asked tens.

"Bastard is driving all around us ever since we came in this town." She stated.

"Should I shoot the fuck?"

She speeded a little bit up. "No, not yet. There to many other people around and I can't tell who's driving. It's that fancy glass you know, can't see through."

"_Fuck_." The loco stated.

"Don't get your gun out yet!" Lizz hissed. "Just keep _cool_! Where close to the bank if he just act like we haven't noticed they won't open fire, defiantly not with people around us."

"I'm not so sure about that, Lizz. It doesn't matter if it's CIA or Cartel if they want us dead they don't give a shit who they take down with us."

"Very comforting thought, but keep your gun in your paints. Where in a car. Right now were kinda safe. Inside the bank we can take cover."

"B-but there will be people in there." Julio got in between.

The loco shrugged. "So? Ya can't save them all."

Julio shuddered in disgust. "Lizz?!" She kept silent, what was an answer enough. Something snapped in him. He didn't want other people to die just because of them. He grabbed the door handle and slammed it open.

Lizz yelped and hit the accelerator, the car made a zigzag movement and nearly hit another car.

"Julio what the fuck are you doing?!" She screeched when she got the car back under control. "Close that door!"

"NO! I wanna get out! Stop the car!" He screamed back and unfastened his seatbelt. "I'll jump!"

In one quick motion she spun over the drivers seat and pressed a gun against his head. With her other hand she tried to keep in a straight line.

"No your not! Sands aim at him!"

"With pleasure." The loco said and drew out his own gun. Julio gulped and winched back into his seat. "Close the door kid we don't want something bad to-"

The loco didn't got the chance to finish his line a car from the other side couldn't swerve around the open door and crashed into it. But that force both cars spun over the road. He got slammed into Djessy, Sands lost his gun and got smack against the window. Lizz screamed and clutched around the wheel. Even her driving skills couldn't complaisance the next crash. His door had cast a pile up. Another car drove right into there bumper what made them all smack forward.

Feeling the headrest print into his forehead Julio peeked up. He could feel some blood run down from the left side of his head. Behind them he could hear absolute chaos, cars honk, new crashes and an enormous bang.

Lizz brushed away the glass of the side window with her sleeve. "Hands up who's not dead yet." Next to her the loco jolted up and kicked close the dashboard.

Lizz peeked over her chair, ignored him and starred at Djessy. "Your alive Doc?" She muttered something and blew her hair out of her face.

"Good." She coughed and moaned. "I think I'm ganna barf out some glass splinters."

"Your hurt?" The loco asked.

"Just scratches and a bump. I'll live." She looked behind to the mass of chaos. "Well Julio I think you made your point back there. No car casing us anymore."

.-.-.

**It's been long since I work on this story. The thing is I want to do to many things and I don't know in what order I have to put them in. O well, we'll see. You never know with mister Chaos around.**

**X Nuky**


	17. Loco in Las Tivã

**WANTED: A beta. **

**Chapter 17) Loco in Las Tivã**

.-.-.

The humble group of fugitives made there way into the large building: _Las Tivã_ Bank. The first line got a few strange looks. Sands entered the building, still with some blood running from his nose and arm in arm (well chained) with Djessy.

Then it was time for Lizz and Julio to get a questionable glare. The boy was pale as the wall behind him and the girl kept giving him angry looks.

The large bank was quit busy. All sorts of people run around, stressed and irritated. Tourist started to yell at the workers behind the desk. Employees at there turn cursed back in Spanish, while keeping cool with a big bright smile on there face.

"You NEED to CASE IN! Is that so hard to understand?! CASE, práctico?!"

"_You disgusting little pig, now it's ganna cost you extra_. I understand señor, how much?"

Lizz gulped. 'An angry mass of people, stress, heat, irritation. How on earth am I keeping him from committing a massacre.'

"Lizz, what the fuck is happening in here?!"

She winched, that tone didn't predict anything good. "It's busy."

"No _kidding_!"

"O, chill. We just have to wait in line."

"O chill, we just have to wait in line!" He mimicked her with a high voice. "Did it accrue to you there is a big pissed angry drive somewhere out there who want's to run a bullet through our head because that little sissy of you crash his car?!"

"Don't call me a sissy!" Julio interfered.

"Or what?! Sissy! Sissy! SISSY!"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Lizz squealed. "This is no time to get angry at each other! We have to keep focus or else we, which means _you_ Sands, will do something very stupid!"

"Sure blame it on the sanity-issue. That's just to easy!"

"SHUT UP!" She grabbed Sands by his shirt and pulled him to a line. "You two stay here, me and Julio take the line _left_ from you. And don't _freak out_!"

.-.-.

'Yeah, that's easy said!' Sands thought angrily. 'She's not the one who can't see a fuck while he has to stand in a sweat-stinking-over-crowded-bee-nest! I swear if one of those fuckers even bumps at me, I'll commit at least one felony. I beat his nose so far up his ass he-'

He stopped making threats and lifted his head. He heard something, something familiar. It was to crowdie to catch it and translate it into something useful. But it was _there_.

Somewhere in that big pile of people. Something soft and probable unrecognisable for people who hadn't there eyeballs drilled out and had to live on sound for almost a year now.

He felt the Doc tug on the cuffs and he took a small step forward, not even making a deal out of the fact she ordered him what to do.

Something was wrong. Something was there and it was too familiar. Yet not familiar enough to make out the meaning of the sound.

'What the fuck…' Slowly he slide his head from left to right, focusing to ban all the other noises. Practically impossible, but necessary.

"Lizz?" He whispered. Turning his head again.

"She stepped into another line." The Doc told him. "Do you want me to call her?"

Her kind words got him tense. It made no sense. 'Something is wrong.'

He got another tug. 'Something is _very _wrong.' "No, I'm fine." He snapped at her, feeling the urge to take more breaths then necessary. 'Don't lose it right now. Everything is fine, she's there I just can't reach her. That's no big deal, probably.'

And there was the thing, probably wasn't good enough. A deal was never good enough is there was a probably, or maybe. The what if's.

His ears picked up the sound again. 'Fuck it's coming.' Slowly he pushed his hand under his jacket and reached to his back. 'Fuck her, I'll freak out if I want to.'

He got tugged forward, sudden and rough. It got him of guard and he stumbled to keep on both his feet. "Watch what your doing bitch." He hissed and massaged the place where the cuffs had sunk into his skin. He got no response. 'That's it.' "Where is she?"

"What do you mean?" She asked worried from the dark.

"Listen Doc, I can do very nasty things to a person and not even have to use both hands. You better stop the act and tell me where she is!"

Again, his hand disappeared under his jacket. He stopped and tense. 'That sound!' All the sudden he froze and felt his blood run cold. In a flash he reached for his gun.

"Don't think so _amigo_." A cold barrel pressed in his back. "Pull your arm back where I can see them."

He wanted to hit himself in the face, real hard. The _jingling_ how could he have missed that?! How could his hearing leave him down like that?!

"El Mariachi." He hissed.

"The one and only." The barrel dug deeper in his back. "Hands where I can see them."

"Just shoot me, fuckwit." He snapped and didn't move a inch. "You got me, do it."

"I think it will be wise of you to do what I say, that way no one get's hurt."

He could feel the hot breath of the Mariachi in his neck, the husky grunts, the gun. It made his rage roar. He was not going to give in this easy, not without a fight.

"I'm not doing anything." He growled low.

"Sands just do what he says!"

For the second time he played marble. 'O fuck, the three seconds I leave her alone.' "Lizz for _God sake_!"

"I'm sorry!" She muttered.

"O I bet you are! Stupid little bitch!" He cursed out loud. "I swear next time you'll be the one cuffed!"

"Quit the act Sands, lower your arm and stand still." The Mariachi grunted.

Rage started to lit up like a flame, all the focus started to break down. Not good, not good at all. His jaw clutched, he lowered his hand and he gave in.

_Finally! _

"So El Mariachi, your going to shoot me or what?" He mocked, grinning tight.

"No, I'm going to save three lives from your evil mind, turn around."

He spun around and locked his feet on the ground, still grinning wickedly. "Then you have to shoot me 'cause I like the game I'm playing." His grin curled into a smile. "Like it a lot."

"Your sick." El stated disgusted.

"I am." Was all he said.

It seemed to hush the Mariachi and he liked that, a lot. Even though he was the one at aim, even though everything could be over in a few moments. He felt good, fucking out of his mind.

"Take her cuffs off." El ordered, to Lizz.

"I don't have the keys." She told him and he could feel her gaze burn. Her voice didn't tremble but he could sense she _knew_.

_Doesn't matter_.

'I know.' "I have the keys. There in my back pocket Lizz."

"Okay." She said soft and got pushed against him. Her hand clutched around the fabric of his jacket. She was scared and had every reason to be.

_Doesn't matter!_

'It does.'

"Keep your hands where I can see them." El snapped. He only nodded with a smile.

Lizz's hand run to his back and he hoped she got his hint. Her left hand dug in his pocket, her elbow shifting his gun to the right.

'Sweet Jesus Maria Christ, thank you.' His smiled grew bigger when he felt her pull the gun from between his belt while her other hand fumbled with the cuffs.

"El, you think you'll ever learn?" He asked blunt.

"What might that be?" The frown was so easily to hear.

"_Never_ to underestimate your enemy." He clacked his tongue and moved his arm from his thigh, revealing the barrel of his own gun. Lizz quickly shifted the safety off and grabbed his arm.

'Good girl.'

"Arms up, Mariachi and sing us a song." He sniggered.

"She won't shoot me."

He razed his eyebrow. "Won't she?"

"No." The Mariachi said firm.

_He has a point_.

"True. She won't shoot you El. Well not right now, she's to innocent to do that. But think again, what about me?"

"Your not the one armed." El hissed. "And I can shoot you if you try to reach of the gun. Believe me."

"Ah, I _do_ believe you El Mariachi. I know you think you know me. And I think you know me good enough to know what I do to stay alive. Do about everything to slither my way out. So here is a question El and I want you to take your time to answer it. And _think_ for fucks sake. I know you'll shoot me the second I reach for a weapon. And I know you won't miss me. I'm a open target. _But_ do you see all these people around me? I hope you do, I hope you will remember every face. Because if I think right I know you have a pretty strong gun. _Very strong_. You won't miss. You'll probable blow my all guts out as well." He smiled amused and wished he could see the face of the Mariachi. It must be brooding, frowning. That thought alone made his heart speed up. Rush, adrenaline _finally_ back.

"You gatta know what a bullet from your gun does, look at the beautiful faces from both woman standing behind me. Of course I'm not sure what weapon you have, seeming the fact I can't see zip. But even your basic equipment will be able to blow me away and at least one of the fine ladies behind me. Bullets piers easily through flesh, you know that, I know that. See, I can understand you don't really care if Lizzy over here dies. She's always a pain in your ass, never does what you want her to do. I know, you know. But what about that little missy cuffed around my wrist? You remember her don't ya? The same sweet sugar you met in the nuthouse. She never did anything wrong, was even kind enough to take a shot of fixing me up. Cute, _stupid_ but cute. She may die, only because you wanted to kill me. Another beauty dead because you had to stick your nose in business long fought. And what about all the other poor souls in here? Even if you shoot me I'll try to make it a show. My show. A freak show. Look around El Mariachi, looky looky and gamble with me. Who will die? That lovely brunet? That pretty blond? Or a few dark Latina's? Your call Mariachi."

He flexed his neck and waited for the response. O he loved this, he pulled the strings and _The_ was in his web.

"Your bluffing!" A sneer, or a question? He went for the last one.

"No you're the big bluff El. Did you really thought I would do tricks and follow you outside like a stray? Your kidding if you think that, but I'm not. I kill, ask them. Ask the Doc, who by the way is still linked to me. Think of what I can do in the few seconds I've left in this dark world."

"Just so you know." Lizz whispered. "He is _not_ bluffing. Hand me your gun El."

'Good girl.' His lips parted and he chuckled soft. 'Got you know bastard.'

"Why do you keep doing this Lizz?" El snapped, trying to avoid the order.

"You know why, the gun now, please." Lizz stepped aside him, keeping his gun covered under his jacket. He heard her snatch the gun out of El's hand and she winched back, handing the weapon over. 'Two against zit stupid.'

"You don't have to do this Lizz. You don't have to-"

"SHUT UP!" He screamed and swung forward, colliding the butt of the gun into the face of the Mariachi. Glory for him, the Mariachi ended on the floor.

The only minus was, the downfall of the Mariachi cost some commotion around the other people in the bank. For a split second it was silent.

Then a woman started to scream. "O MY GOD HE HAS A GUN!"

Lizz let him go and rose her hands, trying to ease the woman. "NO! NO, it's not what you think we just want money-"

Another woman got hysteric, and only therefore Sands felt the urge to pill the trigger.

"THERE TRYING TO ROB THE BANK!"

Well. At least that flattered his ego.

_Go for it_.

"YEAH! I AM!" He screamed. "GET ME SOME DOUGH!"

The girl yanked on his jacket. "Sands what the hell are you trying to pull off?"

He hushed her and yanked her wrist away from his jacket, annoyed by the fact she hold him like a little boy. "Ease up, girly. This is a Mexican bank, what could happen?!"

"What do you think about the army?" Clearly the Mariachi gain back his consciousness.

"Because the damaged you both cost outside I bet there close by!"

He paled. 'FUCK!'

_Shut up and stand your ground!_

He gulped and aimed his gun at the body of the Mariachi. "Get up, don't say a thing. Lizz, you get the money from that nice lady and then get the fuck back!" He let her go and moved to El. "If you try _anything_. And I mean _anything_ I'll shoot her. Fuck I break her arm first and then I'll shoot her!" He grabbed the cuffs and yanked the Doc closer, pinning his gun into her neck. "I don't care, I'll kill her. Do you understand that?!"

The Mariachi crawled up. "Si."

"And don't think just because I'm blind I won't be able to know if your trying. I'll _know_ El, I'll _know_!"

Around them everyone had turned silent. Good, he liked that. Made the whole hearing problem a lot easier. It really nagged if you weren't able to see, but having no clear hearing was hell.

_Good boy_

He grinned wickedly, liking the compliment. Once more he begged to get his sight back. To see them, all of them. Scared because of him. So scared, because he had a gun and they didn't. Power, O the fine smell of power so strong he could practically taste it.

He heard her tiptoe back to him. "I got the money." She whispered. "But the army is indeed coming, I heard the staff whisper. What should we do Sands?"

He petted her shoulder and pulled her close, pressing her between him and the doc. "Now we wait."

.-.-.

**I missed writhing psycho. I like this Sands so much, it's easy to write and plot along the way. I was puzzled, I had a few plots and I was stuck. I mixed everything together and I'll see where it ends. **

**Great strategy… **

**X Nuky**


	18. Taking hostage

**Chapter 18) Taking hostage**

.-.-.

The tears burned in her eyes, but she kept her face clear from any emotion. She wasn't even scared, things like this happened before. She just knew so many things could go wrong. Why had El showed up? What had he to do with everything? Why had he bothered to come back and how could it be he knew where they where?

Sands stood behind her, barely breathing, feet locked soiled on the ground. At some point she knew he felt safe. Nothing could happen when it took over.

'Nothing bad to him.' She stared through her lashes at him, without moving her head. He was focusing, alert to everything that moved and made a sound.

Suddenly he grabbed her shoulder. "It's Showtime babe."

She felt the ground beneath her shudder, three large trucks stopped in front of the bank. She had a good view, the front of the bank was made of large glass panels.

About thirty soldier-types came out of the trucks.

"There armed." She whispered, squirming against his chest. "There with many."

"Where armed too. And we have many people to cover us, in case something goes wrong." He comfort her and pulled Djessy in front of them.

"Don't kill one of them Sands, these people are innocent. Most of them anyway." She added, throwing daggers at El Mariachi.

"People die, it's there nature." Sands huffed cruel.

God, how she hated it if he played cold as ice. "_Sands_!" She hissed, hoping it would have any effect on him.

"I'll try to behave Lizzy. I'll do my act, but if it turns out I have to go to jail-" He didn't have to finish his line.

'Someone would die, all because of me.' Her nails dug into the bag of money. 'Just because of this!'

"_COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"_ Was the order from outside, also being translated into English.

"FUCK YOU!" Sands yelled back, in a few different language. He liked to mock, show others he was superior.

There was some commotion outside, she watched how the soldiers talked to each other, direction to the three strangers, armed and probably dangerous.

'I hope they keep that in mind.'

"Lizz, you still have that gun in your hand right?" Sands asked.

"Yes."

"Good girl. Get the Mariachi in front of you." She understood and gestured to El to come closer. The large man grunted and could have killed her with his gaze. It must be very shameful, for a man like El. Being hold hostage by a blind shooter _and_ a girl.

"So El, how are you doing?" Sands asked interested, making conversation as they where waiting fro the bus to arrive.

The Mariachi rolled his eyes and Lizz could feel his muscles tense. She wished she could trade with Sands, at least Djessy was about her length.

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" _It sounded from outside.

"I WANT TO GET LAID AND SMOKE UNTILL CANCER GETS ME!" Sands yelled back, grinning and becoming very found of himself. Outside the soldiers seemed to be puzzled.

"Sands!" Lizz hissed again.

"Yeah, yeah…" Irritated he made a face at her. "WE WANT TO GET A CAR, WE WANT TO GET A WAY THROUGH AND SOME FUCK THAT CAN DRIVE US TO THE NEAREST AIRFIELD!"

"Where going to fly?!" Lizz yelped in surprise. "I never went flying before…"

"Fascinating girly…" Sands sneered. "And yeah, where going to fly. If we make it that is. Let's fly away…"

"Do us a favour Sands, don't sing where under enough pain already." El snapped.

Sands kicked El hard against the ankle. "Shut up or I will shoot you."

"_THERE IS A CAR PARKED UP FRONT!" _

Sands grinned and cocked his head up. "WHAT CAR IS IT?!"

A long pause. _"IT'S A CAB!" _

"A CAB?!" Sands started to laugh. "FUCK YOUR CAB I WANT SOMETHING SUITABLE!"

"Then try something from the graveyard." El muttered soft.

Lizz frowned and didn't pay attention to the two man cursing and spitting at each other. She kept a sharp glance at Sands. She didn't like him playing games at a times like these. He was fouling around.

"Sands, you better knock that off and make up a plan!" She told him firm and dug the gun deeper into the Mariachi's neck.

"I will sweet-cheeks, I'm working on it!" He told her. "HURRY THE FUCK UP OUTSIDE OR I'LL START FIRE PRACTISE!"

"Sands, even if they give us the car there going to hunt us down!" Lizz told him. "What are we going to do when where in the car?"

"Don't worry your cute little head about it, I'll take care of it." He purred and shifted with his boots. "I could use a damn smoke."

.-.-.

O, how he loved this. Nothing could stop him now. Not his blindness, not _The_, not an entire scout of soldiers. He loved this, because he could pull it off. Use, abuse, livin' la vida loca. He might die today, well fuck that. Die when your young right? And it wasn't like he would leave a poor family behind.

"The car has arrived." The girly told him.

"What car is it?" He asked a bit toddler-like.

"I'm a girl, cars don't interests me. It's a big red one." She told. "Good enough!?"

Her fine undertone of mocking amused him. "Sure as hell, let's get moving, you sit in the front, next to the driver. I sit behind the driver, Djessy next to me, El next to her. Got that kid?"

"Sure." She answered.

"Move bitch." He jerked the doc forward, keeping right behind her. He'd used people as an shield before so he knew the drill. He just hoped Lizz knew too.

They got outside, for a few moments he was afraid they would open fire. For a few seconds he was going to freak out.

_Don't! Just move you idiot!_

And so he did. The girl pushed him into the car, crawled over his lap onto the front seat and told the driver in firm and understandable words they needed to go to the airport. If he would try anything the loco behind him would kill him and she would take there trip over.

The man hit the gas and the car started to move.

Suddenly the girl started to yelp. "WE FORGOT JULIO!"

His heart made another skip of joy. "To bad girly, he's left behind." He smirked and cocked his head around, this day seemed to get better and better. They got the money, they got there shields. In a few hours they would be flying. In a few days they would be somewhere in Europe, maybe Franc he kinda liked the dialect.

The girl sniffed, whining about her beloved Latino. He tried not to snigger and turned his head towards his two hostage. The doc who nearly drove him over the edge, and _The_ who always tried to make his life even more unbearable. 'What to do, what do to with the good few.'

_Just kill them_

'Yeah, but I don't think the kid will dig that.' He knew for sure she would not like that. She might get very pissed if he did.

_Then kill her too_

'I can't fuckshit, she's my eyes. If I kill her I'm alone and I'll go crazy when I'm alone.'

_Your crazy already, I'm here remember?_

'Fuck you.' "How long until we get to the airport?"

"About half a hour." Lizz told him.

"Is there going to be a big fuss when we get there?"

She asked the driver. "Yes, there is going to be trouble when we get there."

.-.-.

Her heart beat in her throat. She felt so sick and she was just the hostage. She didn't dare to look to her left, afraid he might sense that she was looking at him. She didn't dare to look to her right either, somehow the man seemed familiar. Familiar and deadly. So she looked forward and wondered how the girl could keep up with this whole situation.

She sat in silence on the passengers seat, aiming a fully loaded gun at the driver while her eyes kept firmly on the road. How could she live like that? Not a tear had been shed, not even a cry other then the soft whimper because she left her so called boyfriend at the bank.

Djessy was familiar with the _Stockholm syndrome_. It was the strange bond between a kidnapper and his hostage. If the hostage got isolate long enough from the 'real world'. The strange thing between Lizz and her formal patient was she never had been isolated from the real world. Lizz hadn't been cut off from other people, she had the choice to walk away. Her door had always been open. Still, she'd chosen to stay with the person hidden in insanity.

Why, she'd wondered? Why would anyone chose to stand next to another human being that could do so many evil things. Why would anyone want that. Every time Lizz called her up something went wrong. Every time it was the same story, he went nuts. He trashed something. He refused to take his meds. He threatened her. He told her she wasn't real.

"Where are we going when where on the airport." Lizz asked quiet.

"Get the fuck on an airplane, get everyone out and fly." Sands told her. "Don't talk to much girly, you don't know who's sitting next to you. Don't even say a name."

"Okay." She said soft and fumbled with her bracelet.

.-.-.

His friends where going to laugh about this one. Angry he cracked his knuckles. It could have been so easy. The CIA had trashed him down, something he wasn't quit happy with. One agent who destroyed your life was enough. Four of them hammering on your motel door was just wrong.

First they'd asked him quit nice to co-work in there little operation. When he refused they got a large file with his name on it. Inside was a list of all the crimes he had committed in Mexico. It was enough to hang him.

They told him very nicely if he didn't worked along they would arrest him and prosecute him for all the crimes he had committed.

So in a way he hadn't had much of a choice to go after Sands. He'd been quit surprised to see Lizz at his side. He'd thought, or hoped the girl had been strong enough to turn him her back.

'I could have been a free man by now.' Because that was what they'd promised him. Delete all his files and never bother him again. All he needed to do was get Sands. Sure, that was easily said. Finding him had been easy, but catching him. He seemed to stay out of hands from the CIA for a few weeks now, after there first operation blew up. Literally, blew up. They'd questioned him about Sands' partner. He told him he didn't know and had hoped it wouldn't be who he thought it was.

But she was, stupid and innocent enough to think it would be ok.

"Where almost at the airport." The girl whispered.

Sands smirked and razed his gun. "Good, time to play then."

.-.-.

**A bit short, but I'm having serious trouble with writing. **

**X Nuky**


End file.
